The life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez
by Kurotsuki-Tenchi
Summary: Shirotsuki-Tenchi: Ordered by Aizen all the Espada are forced to write within a journal. Follow Grimmjow as he writes about his crazy and insane life as an Espada. Because with a base full of bloodthirsty and twitchy Arrancars life can never be too dull.
1. Week One

**Authors note:** Hello my people, my name is Shirotsuki-tenchi and I am the creator of this fic. I actually got the basis of this idea from lamekirby, so I have to give her some credit. Now just to warn you this story contains slight yaoi in it, meaning it's boy on boy. But that is not till later chapters. Just to warn you there is a boy couple in the first chapter but I really don't support it all that much, I was looking for something creepy and my sister suggested it. If you read my story than you will understand, trust me it's gag worthy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or any of the arrancars, though I wish I could. And in my own little world neither Grimmy or Turquoise (Ulqiorra as we call him.) are dead. So sit back and enjoy the story.

**Day one  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal diary thing,

Today Aizen came around and handed us all empty books and actually ordered us to write in them. He just ordered 10 of the strongest arrancar in existence to write in diaries like some fucking pussies! I was so mad when I heard that, I'm really starting to doubt Aizen's ability to lead us.

First off why the hell does he make us dress up in white? We are evil for Christ sakes we should be wearing black or dark red or some such color. Not white, those damn Quincy wear white and they are all goody goody. I'm not no damn Quincy, so I shouldn't be dressed in the same color. And do you know how hard it is to get bloodstains out of white clothing!? I've lost practically my entire wardrobe in a week! Leaving me with wearing other clothing that's itchy like hell, you have no idea how weird that is.

Next he put together a bunch of psychotic powerhouses and then leaves us with nothing to do, no one could understand some of the shit that happens here in our free time. Especially with everyone's faccion running around, they are the most annoying bastards in the world. Why do you think I don't have any? I hate their living guts. The bullshit around here sometimes gets to the point in which I actually doubted my own sanity, and it's not like I have much of that to begin with.

And last but certainly not least, he sends us on the most annoying errands I swear! Like last week he sent both me and Ulquiorra all the way to the human realm just to pick him up tea! The worst part was I wasn't even allowed to fight anyone! I had to actually retreat at the prospect of a good fight! Damn Ulquiorra! If he wasn't 2 ranks higher than me I'd bet the living shit out of him!

I really hate this place! And this fucking diary!

**Day two  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I've had one of the worst days of my fucking life. If first started when I fell out of bed by Aizen's not so subtle call to a meeting. I swear if he blasted reiatsu any stronger through the base I'd fucking have a heart attack. It wasn't necessary and sometimes in the past I'd wonder briefly if Aizen did it on purpose, now I'm fucking sure of it. The smirk he wore when I made it to the meeting room just confirmed it.

The meeting itself lasted fucking forever! I swear I took an hour nap and didn't even miss anything! I also got a not so nice wakening from that damn Ulquiorra, he practically knocked my chair out from under me in the middle of my nap. It also didn't help the fact that he was on the other side of the room, and was looking so damn innocent. But I recognized the cuatra's reiatsu easily, confirming my suspicions that he really does enjoy ruining my life as much as he can. I'll pay him back for that, trust me.

Next thing that ruined my day was that I accidentally walked in on pink freak or Szayel eating breakfast, I still can't get the image of him with an arm and leg sticking out of his mouth, blood running down his face out of my head. I swear he is the creepiest of all of us, not even that freak with 2 heads floating around in that jar was that creepy.

After that Nnoitra or that damn spoon as I call him challenged me to a spar, usually this wouldn't be so bad but for some reason he was mad today and actually tried to kill me. That was not what I needed today, my day was already bad enough without trying to dodge a sword slice that could decapitate me.

Also I had this strange feeling thought the entire day, even through the spar. It was just a faint tingle down my back but it unnerved me a lot. It shot my concentration to hell which resulted in the rude awakening, the accidental peek at pink freak's breakfast, and the almost death that I had managed to narrowly avoid. It was the reason for most of my troubles that day and if I don't figure it out I'll go crazy.

I swear this was the worst day of my life and I curse the day I was recruited into the Espada!

**Day three  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was totally uneventful, to the point of boredom. After yesterday's meeting in which I learned I did miss some important information, I stayed in my room for most the day. Evidently Aizen had paired us up to patrol the fortress, over some unknown threat had made it's way into Hueco Mundo and was threatening Aizen's plans.

Personally I think Aizen is just giving us menial tasks to show us who is on top. Just a show of who was the top dog and it pissed me off. If he wanted to prove he's the strongest than why doesn't he just bitch slap Gin around? I know I want to, it would make my day to whip that creepy smile off his face.

I despise the way we were paired however, even more when I had to spend 2 fucking hours with my partner. God or the self proclaimed one rather had decided to make my life living hell by pairing me up with Ulquiorra.

Do you know how annoying it is to walk beside the practically brain dead espada? Not only doesn't he talk he doesn't even acknowledge my existence! It's so annoying!

So the patrol had went by completely uneventful, I was actually praying that some idiot would jump us so at least I'd get some fun. But no, nothing fucking happened! And that annoying tingle remained throughout the day and I caught myself looking over my shoulder more than a paranoid arrancar should.

So after 2 torturous hours of silence and that annoying feeling it was finally over, and it had finally put an end to the otherwise boring day. But I still hate writing in this fucking journal.

**Day four  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have discovered that I have a stalker, don't ask me how I know I just do. For the last 3 days it has felt as though I was being watched, like that subtle tingling down my spine. Yeah I figured out what if fucking meant. But it wasn't until today that I confirmed my suspicions, that I proved that I was being watched.

I had set a simple trap for my stalker even though it didn't go as plan. Some of the other espada and even a few of the weaker arrancars who clean watched me as though I was crazy but I didn't really care what they thought. Though it might not have been so strange to them if I hadn't been chuckled manically throughout the whole process while rubbing my hands devishly.

I sat the trap outside the large living area, a simple bucket of water held over the doorway. I had set it up after all of the espada were going to be busy and waited. The trap was sprung without anyone entering the room so I knew automatically that someone was there. Though they didn't get caught in my trap it at least confirmed my suspicions that someone was watching me.

Why someone would follow me around I have no clue but it annoyed me. I didn't want someone watching my every fucking move for some unknown reason, it pissed me off. I found myself growling to myself half the day, earning odd looks from my comrades. I wanted to hit them for that but I wasn't stupid, I could take a few of them on but not all of them.

I had someone following me and I'll be damned if I didn't figure out who it was!

**Day five  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I think Aizen knows who's stalking me, don't ask me how I know I just do. And I think that fucking fox face knows as well, every time I see him he asks me the most annoying question. It was always the same every fucking time, 'Expecting someone?'. Every time he appears out of no where in which he did a lot, he'd ask that question. He knows I'm being followed, I even think he knows who it is which just pisses me off more.

Patrol went by normal as always though we did run into a few rouge arrancar who thought they could take us on. It didn't take long to dispose of them and before long we were back on our trail with me growling silently under my breath. I swear Ulquiorra is the most quiet person in existence, he hasn't said anything to me in 5 fucking days!

Does he not understand how boring it is enough that we have to walk around the endless desert to watch for a possible threat that doesn't fucking exist? The least he could do was talk to me so I have something to do, it was so damn boring!

In other news my stalker was getting more bolder, I almost caught them today. I had been heading to my room after patrolling when the tingly feeling got really strong. I quickly turned around and saw the tail of a white coat flow behind the corner of a nearby hallway. Quickly running over there. the person flash stepped away before I could catch him. however I tried to sense the reiatsu of the watcher but they had suppressed it to were I couldn't even get a reading. I couldn't even trace the trail in which they fled, telling me that they were very strong.

Now the question is.. who was it? The entire Hueco Mundo wore fucking white! It could've been anyone! But the covering of reiatsu told me that they had to be strong. It was quite hard to hide it from me, telling me it had to be someone stronger or not that far behind me in power. Narrowing the list down to the espada and Aizen with his 2 lackeys, it gave me less prospects to chose from.

But with the prospects I was left with I wasn't really comforted, I hated everyone on that damn list. So the question now is who could it be?

**Day six  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today had to have been the most fucking weirdest day of my life! Before I start to rant to myself and get no where I will start from the beginning which just happened to be when I woke up.

I had awakened to find none other than Stark in my bed sound asleep. After jumping off my bed faster than I should be able to, I found myself huddled in a corner hissing slightly. Yes I actually acted like that, thankfully Stark was asleep and wasn't there to witness my totally odd freak out.

Though I did feel the tingling and I'm fucking sure that my stalker had seen my reaction. So after I vented a few angry curse words toward my unknown watcher I addressed the sleeping espada. After waking up Stark and getting an explanation I discovered that he was hiding from that fucking brat of his. So after growling at him and kicking him out of my room I prepared for the rest of the day.

The next surprise came when I went to get breakfast, I stared in shock. Standing in the kitchen were pink freak and that damn spoon making out, even worse was that Szayel looked as though he had already ate breakfast and was covered in blood. Seeing the damn spoon trying to dominate the pink freak made both of my eyes twitch and made me wish I was never born. After taking in this sight I carefully and quietly turned around and proceeded back to my room. I than wished I could burn my eyes out, though it would be quiet painful so I refrained. I wasn't that Ulquiorra bastard who could tear my eyes out and regrow them anytime I damn wished.

The next thing that I ran into creeped me out a lot, while I was heading back to my room to hopefully bleach my brain I paused in the hallway. There laying in the floor was Stark, curled up around the ankle of none other than Halibel. After raising my eyebrows at her she just shook her head in a way that seemed threatening before walking off, dragging behind her the first espada. I had just stood there in the hallway staring at her retreating form, kind of freaked out by her look.

But it wasn't till we had to patrol did the most creepiest thing happen, Ulquiorra the most quietest being on earth actually spoke to me. And it wasn't just an order or something like that, it was an actual sentence and everything. He asked...'What's wrong with you?' I had been so shocked that I had gapped at him for a full minute. Before snapping out of it and explaining my day to him, the conversation (as one sided as it was) was almost civil.

That threw me off slightly and I almost didn't notice the watcher was still focused on me. But after the day I had I particularly didn't care.

**Day seven  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have finally eliminated some of the suspects that are thought to be my stalker, though it wasn't as easy as it sounds. The first and most obvious has to be Aizen, why the hell would he stalk me? He's the leader of our damn operation, if he wanted to watch me I'm sure he'd find a way to do it without me realizing it.

Next would be Gin, I know what it feels like when he watches from the shadows and this wasn't it. He did it to everyone and I have slowly adapted to sense when he decided to morph from the shadows. I always had wanted to ask him if he was a fucking vampire, but I'm not sure I want to know his answer. With my luck he'd actually say yes.

Now there is no way that fucking Tousen would stalk me, since when did that justice freak ever care? He really didn't like to do anything dealing with us arrancars, if it was up to him we wouldn't even exist. Another reason I knew it wasn't him was because he'd go at it with a less subtle approach and just attack me, he really didn't seem the type to stalk someone.

The last that I had eliminated today was Stark, I mean how could you stalk someone while you slept? I had felt the uncomfortable feeling while he was sleeping so I knew it couldn't be him. But why would he stalk me really? I don't think I've ever seen him stay awake for more than a few minutes, that is seriously not enough time to watch me all day and let Stark get his usual 23 hours of sleep.

And there has been a change in the stalker's stare as well, it is getting more uncomfortable by the day. I actually found myself fucking squirming the other day, that was before I growled at myself for my reaction. But I just couldn't help it, the stare seemed more intense than it was when if first started.

The patrol was boring again, and I finally learned who was all paired up for patrol duty. Evidently that damn spoon and pink freak were paired off, which just wanted to make me retreat back into my bed and forget I ever heard it. Halibel and Stark were paired off, much to Halibel's dismay. Yammy was patrolling with Zammari, while Aaroneiro and Barringan had been stuck with one another.

The fact that he paired all of us off just makes me more suspicious about the real reason behind the patrolling. I mean, pairing off 2 out of the fucking 10 strongest arrancar just to watch the border? Just doesn't add up, and I'm not the only one who thinks so. I've caught some of the others conversing on it multiple times and it just solidifies my beliefs.

Just not being the only one suspicious is enough to encourage me, and I'll figure out the fucking reason why Aizen has us running around Hueco Mundo for 2 fucking hours a day!

End


	2. Week Two

**Authors note:** Welcome to chapter 2, it is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi again. This is week 2 of Grimmy's forced dairy writing and it just gets more interesting by the minute. Just to warn you yet again this has yaoi in it, it is also going to be a Grimmjow and Ulquiorra fan fiction before the end. So you have been warned.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach or any of the characters I like to play with, if you think that some idiot on Fanfiction owns Bleach than you need to get your head examined by Szayel, which might not be good for you.

**Day eight  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Aizen had us go back to the human realm to pick up more items, though it seemed more like fucking grocery shopping than anything. Evidently the lower class Arrancar that usually fetch our groceries and such was killed by Yammy again. I swear if that idiot keeps killing them faster than Aizen makes them I will seriously beat the shit out of him myself. It was all his fault I was fucking grocery shopping with Ulquiorra for most of the day!

I also learned one very important fact today... Gigaies are fucking itchy as hell! We had to use them to purchase our items and let me tell you they were uncomfortable as all get out. I swear I could literally fell my skin crawl. It didn't help either that my gigai wasn't quite as tall as me, it was like fucking walking around while my knees were bent! If I get my hands on pink freak I'm going to beat the hell out of him for making such a uncomfortable gigai.

Ulquiorra actually told me to shut up and quit complaining, the most words I've heard out of him of late. But I noticed he wasn't so comfortable in his gigai either, I smirked in triumph at him when I actually caught him squirming slightly. He just stared at me, which shut me up pretty quickly. His eyes were verily creepy.

While we were shopping I tried to figure out why it was us that were chosen to go shopping, Aizen knew how much I hated it. I hated coming to the real world and not being able to fight, that was like putting a bowl of milk in front of me and telling me I can't drink it. But it still confused me, Aizen was up to something and it was dealing with me.

I had wanted to buy a few more things than necessary to get back at Aizen, because it was his money we were using but Ulquiorra wouldn't let me. When I tried he just turn and look at me with those cold eyes, I'd always glare back but even I knew better than to cross Ulquiorra.

Quiet surprisingly I didn't feel watched that day, which was strange. I wondered briefly if they had given up but than had to remind myself that I was in the human world almost the entire day. So does that mean it eliminates Ulquiorra as my stalker considering he was with me most the day? I'm not sure but I'll wait before crossing him off the list, something about him gives me a funny feeling.

**Day nine  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have managed to eliminate 3 more candidates from my stalker list, though I'm not surprised at it. First to go was Halibel, I just couldn't see her stalking me. Also she was in front of me last week when I felt like I was being watched again, and she was too busy having Stark asleep attached to her to let her stalk me.

Next would be Barringan, he was always out patrolling when the stalker was watching more than usual so that automatically knocks him out of the running. Even so I still wouldn't think he was stalking me, he really doesn't care for us lower Espada. I don't even think he knows my fucking name, he was that indifferent to us.

That also eliminates Aaroneiro considering he was always patrolling with Barringan. Though I still couldn't figure him for the stalker, he argues with himself to much to remain quiet enough to watch me. I have damn good ears if I do say so and I can usually hear them coming from about half a mile away.

So far that just leaves; The pink freak (I shudder at the thought), that damn spoon, Zammari, Yammy, and Ulquiorra. Neither of those prospects are very encouraging, though if anything I just hope it isn't the pink freak or the spoon. That image from last week was still burned into my mind, and serves as a reminder to never go near either of them again.

Thought the thought of it being Yammy or Zammari was kind of freaky too, they were both slightly weird. Especially Yammy who's favorite thing to do was kill the lesser arrancars. Yes they were annoying but I didn't go around killing them when they don't expect it.

That left Ulquiorra, which surprisingly didn't bother me as much as it should. Well compared to the others he was much better, though why he would be watching me I don't know. It also didn't help that the stalker didn't have a set schedule, they came and go so I'm not able to pinpoint who's time lined up with the stalking.

Since Sunday though my stalker hasn't been watching me as much as he used to, which for some reason kind of bothered me. I had grown accustom to that constant presence, even though it pissed me off. So either they fear I'm getting to close to their identity or something of the like.

I guess I'll hold off for a little while on figuring out my stalker, because I can't have them leaving me alone just yet. I have just came up with the perfect way to catch my stalker, and I can't scare them off before I get a chance to go through with it now can I?

**Day ten  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I had completely and utterly humiliated myself in front of no less than 6 Espada, which is kind of ironic if you think about it. It first started with breakfast, I was just getting to my first cup of coffee when I noticed the smell was slightly off. Before I realized what it was however it was too late and I had took a large drink.

Someone had thought it would be funny to put catnip in my coffee. Now being a feline based Arrancar I share similar attributes to them, even though I seem human I still display feline actions that are shared with my release form. Much like rolling around on the ground like and oversized kitten when I am exposed to catnip.

I was like that for 20 fucking minutes! Every Arrancar there was laughing at me, even Stark was awake and gasping for breath. I have never been so embarrassed! It was even worse because Ulquiorra was there to see my degression to a oversized housecat, do you have any idea how long it took me to get him to respect me just a little!? It had taken a week of forced contact for him to treat me with even on iota of respect and I just saw it literally fly out the fucking window!

Now it didn't take long to figure out who it was, there wasn't many ways to get a hold of catnip in the middle of Hueco Mundo. So against my better judgment I snuck into pink freak's lab, which might not have been a good idea at the time. I saw some things that he was experimenting on that made me, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez feel nauseous.

After cornering the freak and beating a confession out of him I asked why he did that. Evidently he thought it was I who spread the rumors around about him and the damn spoon making out. Which wasn't really a rumor since I've seen it with my own 2 eyes, but I hadn't told anyone else about it. I told him I didn't fucking care and hadn't said a word to anyone, which afterwards he went about apologizing profusely (Yes I do know some big words). He knew what his little stunt had done to my reputation and no amount of thanks could make up for it.

So after the friendly chit chat with pink freak I made my way back to my room, wanting today to never have happened. I had hid myself in my room, keenly aware that my stalker was back. But for the first time since it started I hadn't minded, at least for now anyways.

**Day eleven  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Aizen is completely off his damn rocker! He made us, 10 elite Arrancar fighters, play truth or dare today. Do we fucking look like high school teenagers!? No we don't! And worse he ordered us to so we couldn't fucking skip it, even though I tried anyway. And worse he told us that we weren't allowed to truth or dare him but he could others! How is that fucking fair!?

Anyway it first started with Aizen daring Yammy to refrain from killing his subordinates for a week, much to my relief. No more grocery shopping for me! Next Yammy dared Stark to stay awake for the entire time we played truth or dare, which to our surprise he actually managed to do.

After that Stark truthed Ulquiorra who admitted that it actually does hurt when he rips his eyes out and crushes them. Of course it had to hurt, it looked horribly painful every time I saw it. Ulquiorra just skipped his turn which defaulted it over to Aaroneiro who dared the damn spoon to kiss me.

Now the thought of him kissing me completely disgusted me, I first started out by punching the damn spoon in the jaw as hard as possible. I ended up breaking his jaw, and he got angry over it. I don't know why, he didn't have to kiss me and I got to punch him. It's a win win situation. I than went about destroying that 2 head headed freak much to everyone's enjoyment, no one even moved to stop me.

After that I was glared at by pink freak and that damn spoon for the rest of the night, and their looks made me feel slightly nervous. Considering no one could understand Nnoitra the turn passed over to Zammari who much to everyone's surprise dared Halibel to kiss Stark, I had to wonder what were we? Horny teenagers?! Why did they keep making us kiss each other?! Anyway Halibel did kiss Stark much to his surprise, and she even managed to do it so none of us seen what her lower face looks like. Afterwards Stark just stared off with a dazed look, I don't even think the prospect of a nap could snap him out.

Halibel than dared pink freak to cut his hair, I could swear he was crying when he sheered them off. I laughed so hard, he was actually starting to look like a male. But than when he was done he turned to glare at me and dared me, of course I said dare I wasn't a pussy. Now I could say I wished I said truth, because pink freak dared me to take catnip ever 10 minutes. I tried to get out of it but Aizen just stared at me with that glare and I took it like I was suppose to.

Does pink freak or even Aizen he have any idea how much catnip affects me! It's like giving pot to a teenager! So throughout the entire night I got slowly doped up (While rolling around on the ground like a kitten), completely to the point in which I don't even remember the rest of the night! I woke up around midnight curled up in my bed, when I can't even remember going to my room.

So it fucking sucks to be alive, I swear! But at least I didn't get kissed by that damn spoon.

**Day twelve  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I remembered the rest of last night! And now the funny looks and snickers I've been given all day by the others are finally starting to make since. Let me start from the main beginning, if first started this morning when I went to get breakfast. Yammy who had been eating breakfast started laughing as soon as I entered the room. After telling him to shut the fuck up in which he actually did, that was before he started to snicker behind his hand, he went back to breakfast.

Next Stark stared at me as though he was trying to figure out some great mystery about me, after growling at him what his problem was he just shook his head and resumed his nap. That wasn't what I had expected when I woke up, so I just shook my head and continued on my way.

Next I came upon pink freak and that damn spoon sitting next to each other in the living area. When they saw me they started to laugh at me, well as much as the spoon could with a broken jaw. After glaring at them and asking what's so fucking funny they just stayed quiet and went about looking smug. I quickly re-hit the spoon in the jaw just for good measure and left with a feral grin, ignoring pink freaks curses thrown at my back.

After leaving them I made my way back to my room while every Espada I passed either stared at me funny or started to snicker. And I haven't even the foggiest idea why! I growled at most of them, which just made them laugh harder. The bastards!

Well during patrol it got even weirder, Ulquiorra wouldn't even look in my general direction today. I have no fucking idea what happened last night but I have a feeling I did something stupid and embarrassing. Especially to the point if Ulquiorra was ignoring my actual existence, he was usually quiet but at least he acted like I was there. There had to be a reason why all of the fucking idiots in this place were laughing at me today.

It wasn't till I got ready for bed did I remember what happened last night, and it was awful. Evidently in my catnip induced haze I had did a few things I'm not proud of. The number one thing in my mind however was curling up in Ulquiorra's lap like a large kitten and purring, oh the mortification!

No wonder why Ulquiorra wouldn't look at me today! I wouldn't even look at myself at that display! It was the most fucking shameful thing I've done! The only thing I could do about it is glare and growl at anyone still laughing and slowly torture Aizen to death in my head.

**Day thirteen  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I decided to stay away from base all day except to go back for patrolling, I don't want Aizen on my tail so I went back. After all that happened yesterday I really don't feel up to his bullshit. I might actually try to kill him which would not be good for my health. So I had wandered the endless desert that was Hueco Mundo and I have to say it is boring out here but it did give me some time to think.

Something even more surprising I felt my stalker stalking me throughout my entire walk, and yet no matter how many times I try to spot him I just can't. That's why I came up with a full proof plan to catch him, which I will set into effect tomorrow. I won't write about it yet, my luck it would fucking curse me. So I'll keep quiet about it till I have cast my trap.

I also got to think about how to handle the other Espada and their insatiable need to laugh at me after what happened Wednesday. So I am going to beat up those who of are a lower rank than me, it shouldn't be too hard after all. And the higher ranked ones I have decided to pay them off, I mean it shouldn't be too hard. I didn't even have to worry about Barringan, he couldn't care in the least, he hasn't even looked or laughed in my direction in all the time I've known him.

So after I returned right before patrol and decided to get started. For Zammari I just gave him some eye drops I got one day while in the human realm, evidently his eyes have been giving him trouble lately. So for those eye drops he promised to not remember what happened, even though he was at a lower rank than me I didn't have to beat him up.

Halibel and Stark weren't so hard to shut up either, I just asked them and they just shrugged. Well in Stark's case I just threatened to wake him up every time I came across him. So I paid him off by letting him sleep as much as I can, I even offered my closet as a hiding place. Halibel didn't really care in the least, so she wasn't much of a bother. I just offered up the area in which Stark was sleeping and she seemed satisfied.

When that damn spoon interrupted me I just warned him that I'll break his jaw again so I got him to shut up about it, and pink freak with him. I mean they couldn't make out if one of them had a broken jaw. So after leaving them I than went to confront Yammy, after a quick round of beat up the fat guy Yammy offered to keep his trap shut. Next came Aaroneiro who after shaking those two idiots around in their jar violently promised to never talk about it again, so that didn't take to long.

I know better than to bother Gin, Tousen, and Aizen so I didn't even try, it was useless to even think of trying. That just left Ulquiorra and there wasn't much I could do to him considering he hasn't laughed at me the entire time. He just ignored my existence and I couldn't really do anything to stop him.

So after such a day I'm looking forward to tomorrow, I mean I get to jump my stalker how could anything be more fun?

**Day fourteen  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I found out who my stalker was today! It was the most surprising thing in the world, I would've never have fucking guessed who it was! I swear I almost had an enurism when I found out who it was!

Before I write it down and continue to rant I'll write about my day first, in which led up to the capture of my stalker. It first started out as a normal day, I first went to breakfast and ate. Afterwards I went about setting up my trap, though I did it so it seemed as if I wasn't. I waited until everyone was busy and the tingling feeling to come before starting.

I first started off by moving around as if I was looking through the extra rooms for something while discreetly locking each door and closing them. Leaving nothing but the hallways I was in for a way to escape. I than went into the living room and sat down and watched TV before waiting.

Just when I felt the time was right I casually got up and stretched before proceeding down the hallway. After hearing the footsteps leaving I eagerly followed, with a feral grin. I finally cornered my stalker around a turn in the hallway so I quickly jumped out at my watcher.

You couldn't believe how surprised I was when I found myself sitting on none other than Ulquiorra himself. His usual stoic expression was gone and his green eyes were widened slightly. I swear I sat on him for like 5 minutes just staring, I was so shocked that when he shoved me off I didn't even notice.

But before I could question him someone down of the fucking doors down giving Ulquiorra his escape. He flash stepped through the door so fast I didn't even get a change to confront him. I couldn't even follow his trail so I couldn't follow and demand to know why he was stalking me. Even during patrol Ulquiorra wouldn't even acknowledge me when I talked to him. Not even a twitch of an eyebrow in my general direction.

So today I found out my stalker was Ulquiorra. Still have no fucking idea why either, I'm pretty sure Aizen knows but I'd rather cut my arm off than ask for his opinion. So now all I have to figure out is why he was following me, which doesn't seem easy in the least.

End


	3. Week Three

**(Read this!!!!) Authors note:** Hello again, it is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter of The life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. I personally think my reviewers from the bottom of my heart, both of them. ima-glomp-you and lamekirby, they are my new best friends for now. Anyway I have been running out of ideas, so if any of you want to submit me some feel free. Because if I run out of ideas there will be no more story, so please help. Thank you!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, or Ulquiorra. (Cries in corner) They are owned by their rightful owners. If I ever figure out where the creator lives than I will go to his house and threaten him to release Ulquiorra and Grimmy into my custody. Creators you have been warned.

**Day fifteen  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

We are suppose to be a organized group of evil villains who are suppose to kill all those who stand in our way. A group of bad guys who strike fear into our enemies and terrify those who even looks our way. So why in the hell did we, under Aizen's orders of course, have to go to the real world and go on a scavenger hunt? He even made it a competitive hunt, much to my dismay.

I swear Aizen's just messing with us, it's his favorite thing to do after all. So anyway we were sent to an abandoned city in the middle of nowhere with a list of things to get. Even worse than the prospect of searching through rubble for shit we don't know is the fact that we had to do them in groups of 3.

So me, Ulquiorra, and the pink freak were forced to look for shit together. I still haven't gotten an answer from Ulquiorra for his reason for stalking me, technically he hasn't even talked to me for that matter. I had wanted to talk to him about it today until pink freak came into the picture, now I was stuck with hearing him complain all day about being separated from that damn spoon.

I swear after today if I hear the name Nnoitra one more time I will kill someone, I swear. So there we were searching through the city for shit I could care less about with a constant complaining in my ear. At least Ulquiorra is quiet, if I was stuck with pink freak on a day to day basis I would seriously kill him.

The worst part is what we had to look for, and let me tell you it wasn't as easy as it would seem. First we had to find something called tequila, I had no fucking idea it was a alcoholic drink. I'm betting Gin was the one who put that on the list, it just seems like something he'd do. Next was a battery powered clock, what the hell why Aizen want something like that? I didn't even know what it was and if it wasn't for Ulquiorra we would've never had found it. Than we had to find an ordinate tea cup set that was in pristine condition, do you know how fucking hard it is to find something like that in an abandoned city!?

Other than that we had to find more things that do not bear mentioning, some of them still creep me out. It turned out we did win, we got a prize of no patrolling for a day. Whoopdie fucking do. It's so fucking annoying when our leader can't come up with a better prize for running around an empty city with pink freak and Ulquiorra! He had no idea how much torture I went through and sometimes I wish I could push it all onto Aizen himself.

So glad that today is over with, this is just too much.

**Day sixteen  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I finally got a word out of Ulquiorra today, well actually it was two. He actually said 'shut up' to me. Why that is a fucking accomplishment worth mentioning I have no clue. It started out as a normal day during patrol and I kept bothering him to tell me why he was stalking me. He then got really quiet, more so than usual if that's even possible and then said shut up to me.

Now if you've ever been on the receiving end of Ulquiorra's anger you knew to shut up and back off immediately. This one time I seen him get mad at one of the Arrancar who disobeyed Aizen's orders, lets just say there wasn't enough left of him to scrap off the floor. So at his glare I shut up but continued to glare back, because come on I'm evil I'm always either glaring or smiling menacingly.

Other than that one of the faccion of the others decided to play a fucking prank on me. Halibel might have to get a new one soon, because I don't know if that one bitch survived or not. She thought it would be funny to put a bowl of milk and in front of my door, it turned out to be a trap and a bucket of water landed on me. Now normally I wouldn't have gotten so mad at a simple prank, but it was water and it was cold.

Anyone that knows me knows I despise water, to the point in which I have to be literally forced to take a shower. (Even though I do like to lay in my bathtub when it's dry.) I hate cold water even more, I will not take a shower unless the water is so hot I fell my skin burn. And I got covered in freezing cold water, lets just say that bitch was missing most of her face by the time I was done with her.

I had warned them long ago not to screw with me, and she went and screwed with me. Personally I hate all faccion, they are so fucking annoying. That was why I don't have one for myself, I can't stand them. Now I understand Stark to where his is his actual Zanpakuto but still, that little brat was annoying as hell.

Halibel had glared at me after I beat the living shit out of that bitch but I just glared back. After I told her what had happened she nodded before going to warn her other followers. I don't think there will be a repeat performance, I did beat her up in front of a lot of the other fraccion so hopefully that'll teach them to watch it around me.

Other than that however the rest of the day went by uneventful. I will get Ulquiorra to tell me why he was stalking me, even if I have to force it out of him.

**Day seventeen  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Life officially and utterly fucking sucks, let me tell you. I think someone is reading my journal, which is something you don't want to do. I'm betting on it being fox face, and if I'm able to prove it is I swear I'm going to beat his fucking face in. I could tell because I hide this thing, and everyday when I bring it out to write in it is always slightly out of alignment in which I put it in. Yes I do notice that shit. Isn't it bad enough that I got to write in this? But now I have some idiot reading my thoughts, and they better hope I don't find out who it is.

If you're reading this whoever you are then I'm fucking coming for you! So watch your back!

Other than that I had a major showdown with Tousen, I swear I hate that pussy. Why would someone so devoted to justice work with a bunch of bad guys who like nothing more than to kill a few innocents. I swear he gets so high and mighty when I kill a few people, well if he didn't want to see this shit he shouldn't have came along with Aizen. He actually threatened me today, that fucking soul reaper. Next to Aizen he's the second on my 'I wish I could kill' list, followed closely by Gin and every single fraccion in this damn place.

Oh and I got my journal painted today, more like Aizen ordered us to but oh well. He gathered 2 of the greatest artists amongst the arrancar and forced them to paint our journals. My journal is now blue with a large black 6 on it, there is even a stalking panther on the other side which made me like it a lot. They were actually pretty good, they were both sister arrancar that didn't have much strength. But they were amazing artists, which is hard to come by in Hueco Mundo.

Most arrancar were fighters but those two weren't, they were actually very talented at art. Even more surprising I think one of them has a crush on me. Which is pretty weird, I usually don't instill those type of feelings into others. The second sister obviously likes Ulquiorra, who just ignored her in return. It was actually quite funny to see how he reacted towards her, though she didn't look as if she was actually trying to gain his attention to begin with.

She did do a good job on Ulquiorra's book however, though I only caught a glimpse. It was the same shade as his eyes, which was actually quite cool. With a large black 4 on the front and a cool bat like thing on the other side, I have to say it did look awesome. And even Ulquiorra looked pleased with the results, well as much as he could with his usual expressionless face.

When they had finished and we were leaving I notice a look passed between the 2 sisters. They looked at each other before looking at both me and Ulquiorra and then they smiled the same damn creepy smile at our retreating forms. It was the type of smile one would have when they knew everything, the type that Aizen tries to pull off but doesn't quite succeed completely. But I got the actual idea that they did know everything and it fucking creeped me out, I'll have to keep an eye on those 2 in the future.

Other than the 2 sisters and someone reading my journal everything else went by smoothly, though Ulquiorra is still refusing to talk to me. But whatever, I'll get him to speak eventually.

**Day eighteen  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I hate Aizen with every fiber of my being! I swear he will do stuff just to fucking mess with us! Like what happened with today, which I have dubbed swimming day. Yeah you heard right, swimming. Everyone in this fucking place knows I hate water with a passion, especially cold water but does that stop them from messing with me? No it fucking doesn't!

I'll start out from the beginning, which wasn't that interesting. Aizen had changed our patrol routes to where we had to go another completely fucking different way. We had to change our entire course in one day, do you know how hard that is!? And worse it took us right beside a large lake, yes you heard me a lake, in the middle of Hueco Mundo.

Have you ever learned of a large lake in the middle of an endless desert? No I didn't think so, and what's worse? It's the fucking size of a small city, I have never seen this lake until today. I think Aizen created it just to screw with me, he knows how much I hate water. And than making us patrol right beside it? To much of a fucking coincidence.

So me and Ulquiorra are walking around this large lake, I am walking 20 feet from it myself. When suddenly something hits me in the back of the head, sending me flying straight into the lake. Let me point out a few facts about this scenario that really pissed me off.

Fact number 1: That lake was cold, remember how I hate the cold? Yeah that lake was fucking cold, so cold in fact I'm still shivering from it.

Fact number 2: The lake was deep, which in my shock filled fall straight into the middle of said lake I forgot to swim back up. Fucking embarrassing that I almost drowned, could you imagine what people would say if they learned that the 6th Espada was defeated by water?

Fact number 3: I didn't catch who tossed me in, and that bastard Ulquiorra wasn't helping at all. He probably knew that someone was sneaking up on us, it just seemed like something he'd know. And he probably even knew who it was, but did he tell me? No he didn't even give me a slight warning that I was going to be fucking hit into the lake that sat menacingly to my right as we patrolled.

Fact number 4: There were many lower level arrancar in that lake, lower level arrancar that likes to eat things that falls into their lake. I almost got eaten by a catfish the size of Yammy and Zammari put together. Do you know how embarrassing it would be for me, to get eaten by a fish? That's just adding insult to injury, there was no way in hell I was being taken down by a fish.

For dinner that day I had fried catfish, I even got some of the other Espada to eat as well. Yammy ate of course, I don't think even Aizen could keep him from food. Stark refused, saying something about not liking fish. Halibel and Barringan didn't even bother with it. Zammari, pink freak and even that damn spoon ate some. But the most surprising was Ulquiorra who sat down and ate some as well, I think he got tired of us all gaping at him however and finished quickly before leaving.

So after my not so nice swimming day the most I want to do is sleep.

**Day nineteen  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I figured out who fucking pushed me in the lake, and I even got my revenge all in one day. It started out by going to breakfast like I do every morning. But before I entered the kitchen I heard pink freak congratulating that damn spoon on his plan, I have exceptional hearing after all. So after listening a little longer I learned the true reason, that it was to get back at me for breaking his jaw.

So as I stood there growling I almost burst in there and beat the living shit out of him. But I stopped myself before I did that, he wouldn't be humiliated enough for my revenge if he died. So I came up with a perfect way to get back at him, a simple plan that put him in his place. I didn't care that he's higher than me in numbers, I vowed to show him not to mess with me.

So after careful planning, evil laughter along with rubbing my hands together, and Ulquiorra giving me odd looks all day I came up with my plan during patrol. It was simple really, only taking a few stealth skills, a box of permanent markers, a pair of scissors and the need for revenge to pull it off.

I think Ulquiorra knew what I was planning even though I didn't tell him, he has ways for finding these things out after all. He just watched me today as I planned as though I was going insane, but hey at least he's acknowledging my existence now. It wasn't just 4 days ago that he was acting as if I didn't exist.

It started after that damn spoon went on patrol with pink freak, when I was sure he was gone I snuck into his room. Taking the scissors I carefully cut parts off of each of his collars that looked like a large spoon. I than took the markers and on the back of said collars where he wouldn't be able to see it I wrote a lot of things that were pretty uncalled for. One of them being what he and pink freak did in their spare time. After making sure that every one of them were like that I carefully gathered my things and snuck back out.

You should've seen his face when he walked out wearing one of his outfits, I made sure to distroy the one he was wearing while on patrol in a mock spar earlier that day. The top part that was usually a spoon now looked like a spork, with a perfect spiked top. And writen on the back to which he probably didn't notice or else he wouldn't have worn that one, was a sentence that doesn't bear mentioning. It said something about the sounds that pink freak made when they were together, even better it was written in hot pink.

It wasn't until pink freak himself saw the hood did he actually realize that something was writen on the back. But by then every Espada as well as most of the fraccion had seen it by then, so he is now the laughing stalk of Hueco Mundo. I personally can't wait until he gets to the hood that has printed on the back with my own personal touch. It has a drawing of me, as good as I could draw myself, smirking and telling him not to mess with me.

I now call him that damn spork, which is infinitely more funnier to see him react to than just 'that damn spoon'. His glare intensifies, and his face turns a fetching shade of red. Pink freak's reactions are hilarious as well, considering most of those comments are related to him. He gets mad and starts to scream at me, which while doing so his voice raises into a shriek most of the time heard from angry females. I don't even have to embarrass pink freak, he does it all on his own.

After such an eventful day I can go to bed satisfied.

**Day twenty  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking diary,

Well today went about normally, as much as it could with being in the Espada. Aizen still thought he was God, Gin was a creepy bastard, and I still wanted to punch Tousen through a fucking wall...twice.

I woke up like normal and ate breakfast like every other day. Most of the Arrancars were in the kitchen eating breakfast as well when I made my way there. Gin was hiding in the shadows ready to pounce an unsuspecting victim, I could actually feel his presence lingering in the room. It was like a shiver of disgust and revulsion going down my spine when I passed through the darker hallways of our sweet abode.

At least when Ulquiorra stalked me it didn't make me fell like going back to my room and taking a shower. I hate showers to begin with so if it's enough to make me take one you know it has to be bad. There was something about that fox faced bastard that made my hackles rise, and yes I did actually write that.

So after spending the rest of the day circumnavigating him the rest of the day went about normally. Yammy was still eating everything in sight, and due to the week being over Wednesday he had been killing arrancars like usual. Though something strange did happen between him and Ulquiorra today, something that made me mad for no reason.

Yammy was talking to Ulquiorra and he was replying back! I have been trying for 2 weeks to get him to fucking talk to me and Yammy just comes over and strikes up a conversation? I don't even know why I'm so pissed! I really shouldn't care but I do, more than I'd like.

So after that we went on patrol, which had me walking about 80 feet away from that damn lake. Wouldn't want another repeat of the other day now would we? I think Ulquiorra was laughing at my reaction, his expression didn't change but it felt like he was laughing at me. So I went about growling at him, which probably in turn caused him even more amusement. Well I was glad one of us thought it was funny because I sure fucking didn't!

So after such a normal day it felt good to go to bed, glad that not much had ruined today.

**Day twenty one  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have made 4 very crucial discoveries today, 4 discoveries that were frankly weird beyond imagination. I had made all of these discoveries in the space of a few hours, which for being such a big deal it was really a surprise for them all to happen in a row. It started right before patrol and led up till afterwards.

First off, I will never go bursting into Aizen's room without prior warning. Never fucking again! I had always thought there was something between Aizen and Gin, but now I have fucking proof. Unfortunately I had more proof than I had ever wanted to see, it was even worst than the time I walked in on pink freak and spork making out.

So after retreating to my room I attempted to erase all memories of that encounter. But unfortunately it deemed futile and that damn image of Aizen with Gin just kept popping up in my head over and over again. So after attempting to rip out my eyes for a few minutes, (Ulquiorra made it look easy.) I finally took a quick shower, (Yes it was that disturbing.) before heading back out.

The next strange thing I encountered was when me and Ulquiorra were patrolling. He had noticed something down on the ground and had bent down to examine it. I too bent down to take a good look, wondering absently why had caught his interest. Very bad idea on my part. Evidently Ulquiorra didn't like it when people breathed on his neck, which I had inadvertently done while trying to see what had caught his interest.

My ribs are still hurting from the hit he delivered to my chest. He had hit me with a simple palm hit but it felt like I got hit by a boulder, I had to actually lay on the ground to catch my breath. I think a few of my ribs were broken as well as my sternum, thankfully it took more than that to kill me. I don't think Ulquiorra had meant to hit me so hard because he came over to me to stare down at me. I growled at him for it and he just shrugged as I sat up. Well at least he didn't hit me again.

Third discovery of the day happened when I made it to the kitchen for dinner, there sitting at the table was Stark. Now normally that wouldn't deem a strange reaction but did I mention he was sitting? I hadn't seen Stark sit up straight in all the time that I've known him, just the fact that he was up was a surprise. So there was Stark wide awake with a very serious expression on his face, even more stranger was the fact that sitting across from him was Zammari.

After listening in for a few minutes I learned that Stark was having woman troubles, which wasn't hard to figure out with who. But just the fact that he was awake and was actually asking Zammari for help was enough to make the encounter seem surreal. I mean this is the guy who has never once in his life as an Espada make a attempt at anything, and now he was changing his ways for a women? Just seemed weird to me.

The last came when I headed to bed, it hadn't been that long after lunch and I was going to my room. That familiar tingle down my spine reappeared, telling me one crucial detail. My stalker was back. Now I'm confused on why Ulquiorra would want to stalk me again, especially after today. Maybe he's trying to watch me and learn my weaknesses, which after the last few weeks it shouldn't be hard to peg.

After 2 days of catnip doping, 1 day of swimming, a day of useless scavenging for junk and the horror I have encountered when I had caught my comrades with each other was enough opportunity to learn almost all of my weaknesses. Make me repeat those experiences and I don't even think I'd even try to fight, trust me experiencing that once was bad enough. These last few weeks had made me rethink joining the Espada, I'm half convinced to just go to the human world and wreak havoc until I'm killed.

So after my long eventful day I really don't care if Ulquiorra is stalking me again, at least it's him and not one of the others. I shudder to think what would want the others to follow me around, so yeah Ulquiorra wasn't the worst prospect. So I'll just go with the flow for now.

End


	4. Week Four

**Authors note:** Hello it is I again, Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter of this lovely story. But first I will like to thank ima-glomp-you, lame Kirby, and xTexyArkx for their lovely reviews and ideas on what to put Grimmjow through next, they are my current best friends. Anywho ideas are welcome and if I like them I'll most likely use them so please tell me. Here is chapter 4 enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, Shakespearian plays or catnip… if you think I do than I have the obligation to do to you what Grimmy did to Luppi in the anime, and more.

**Day twenty two  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I now have official proof that Aizen is off his fucking rocker and I'm not the only one to think so. It started out like a normal day, (oh how that happens so much around here) until we were drawn into another meeting by Aizen. Now meetings weren't usually so strange, and they usually didn't prove that our leader was insane. But today proved different, especially when Gin had walked in with a smile more menacing than usual. I hate that damn smile.

He was followed by Tousen, carrying a stack of papers. He than went about passing out a stapled bundle of papers to each of us. Upon investigating my paper I came upon a horrified discovery, it was a human play. After turning to glare at Aizen who just smiled at me that damn smile he went about explaining.

Evidently Aizen had heard of this play and had wanted to see it, unfortunately being on the run from the Soul Society made it difficult to leave Hueco Mundo. So he decided on making us do the play to see it. I swear for an evil genius, he's such an idiot sometimes.

Aizen had actually ordered us to learn the play Macbeth to perform this Saturday, he had even casted us each as different characters. Though Harribel hadn't been given a character, evidently she had previously been chosen to patrol that entire day for the play. Lucky her. I learned that I was going to play someone named Banquo, who had a weird name. At least Grimmjow was cool, that name was just lame.

So after we were ordered then dismissed I went to my room to read this play we were going to be forced to endure. It sucks! I had to play a guy that gets killed by assassins sent by the main character! But at least I do get to come back as a ghost and haunt this Macbeth character until he goes insane.

Being forced to perform a play that was created by some human named Shakespeare, (Another weird name) was so annoying. What does Aizen think he's doing? Making a group of bloodthirsty bad guys perform a play? I swear he's fucking insane, more than a psychopathic could be.

And in other news Ulquiorra was stalking me again, I could feel it. Even during the meeting I could feel him watching me, though every time I looked in his direction he was focused on Aizen. So I had to go through the entire meeting slightly twitchy, and I think the other Espada are starting to realize something is going on. They were watching me more than usual today.

I'm not so sure who the others are in the play but I can't wait to see who I'll get to torture during it. If I'm lucky it would be Ulquiorra, I'll get a little pay back for the stalking. And considering it's a direct order from Aizen I'll get to bother him without being maimed, ah life is good.

**Day twenty three  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I spent much of the day much to my dismay practicing my lines for the play (Gah that rhymed!). I wouldn't be participating if it wasn't for the fact that Aizen is stronger than me and enjoys when I rebel. Even if it's only a little he'll release his spiritual pressure on me, it's so strong that I can't even stand. So after complaining under my breath for a few hours I finally gave in.

I figured out who the spork and pink freak are, I mean they were practically bragging when I made it to breakfast this morning. And by what they were bragging about I don't think they read the entire play.

That damn spork, (Considering that his outfits hadn't been fixed yet.) got casted as Macbeth so he was bragging about killing me in the play. I than pointed out to him the fact that I come back and haunted him until he goes insane. He wasn't laughing so much after that, and pink freak glared at me about it. I than pointed out to him that he was playing lady Macbeth a chick and went insane before committing suicide at the end. Neither were laughing as I turned to walk away.

It turned out that Yammy and Ulquiorra were standing in the doorway, both had evidently heard my rant and were staring at me oddly. I merely raised an eyebrow at them, evidently they found it surprising that I even read the damn thing. It shouldn't be that surprising, I'm not that uncultured.

So after walking past them with a smug grin I made my way to my room, glad that I managed to knock those 2 down a peg. But unfortunately Gin waylaid me in the hallway and told me Aizen had requested my presence. That was something I didn't need, all that accomplishment I felt was slowly drained away as I made my way to Aizen's chamber.

Aizen said that I was too angry all the time, and that all of that negative emotion would mess up my part in the play. That was bullshit I thought though I didn't voice it. So he told me to take a mild amount of catnip when I wake up in the morning, he said they should act like an anti-depressant. I glared at that. But to make matters worse he told me I had to do it until he deemed it time for me to quite. What the hell was he thinking? Catnip? me? I just knew that this week was going to go bad.

So I had to go to pink freak and get small amounts of catnip to take a day, meaning I had to go through his rooms. I shudder at the thought of what is contained there. He also enjoyed the fact that I had to take catnip everyday. So he put the small amount in capsule form mixed with sugar, cause of course I need more energy along with the catnip (Notice the sarcasm there). I was given a bottle with them, which is now sitting on my dresser.

A human play and catnip pills, how could this week get any worse? Thankfully Ulquiorra hadn't stalked me today, at least I could get a small break.

**Day twenty four  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was horrible! And I have Aizen to blame for how my day went. Today I started to take my catnip pills per Aizen's orders and it was fucking annoying! A normal intake of catnip makes me roll around like an oversized kitten, which is a very embarrassing situation for me. A large amount of cat nip makes me act even worse and I usually can't remember immediately after what has happened.

I discovered what a small amount does to me and it kind of pisses me off more than the other 2. When I take a small amount of catnip like I was ordered to, I am cheerful and always smiling. It even gets to the point in which I'm always laughing and affectionate to the other Espada. That is the worst fucking thing that can happen to me!

So there I was walking around all day happily smiling while I slowly rotted away on the inside. I don't think I can last like this much more, do you know how mortifying it is to go around all the fucking time being nice to people!? I didn't even know I was capable of nice!

Stark who I had learned was casting as Malcolm in the play was actually awake and studying his lines. So in my happy induced state I had asked why he was awake, in a very nice manner. I think I even threw the normal calm individual off when I did that, because he stared at me for a few minutes before replying. Evidently Aizen had told Stark that if he does good in the play than he'd let him sleep all he wants for a week. I should've known it was something like that. There wasn't much that motivated Stark, but the prospects of a nap was like the holy grail to him.

Next when I went on patrol I was nice to Ulquiorra, it was so mortifying. He just stared at me weirdly all day, it wasn't until I explained Aizen's orders, (Happily may I point out.) that he just nodded and continued to walk. I than proceeded to happily tell him about my day while I was trying to shut myself up, it was horrible. I could tell he was silently laughing at me, I mean how could he not be? Seeing one of the meanest, brutish, and cruelest Espada going around happily talking like a child, it was just to much. If it was happening to anyone other than myself then I would be laughing my ass off at them.

Unfortunately it was happening to me, and I wasn't laughing. It was all that damn Aizen's fault, it was his fault I was acting like a hyper kindergartner. And it's pink freaks fault for putting sugar in the damn pills as well. He had said he added it in to make the pills go down easier, more like he wanted to see me act like a utter and total idiot.

Thankfully however the catnip wears off after a while and I was back to normal before I wrote in my journal. I have no fucking idea how it would've turned out if I wrote in that condition, and I'm not too eager to find out. I swear one of these days Aizen's going to get what's coming to him and I hope I'm alive to see it happen.

On another note Ulquiorra still hadn't stalked me, this is the 2nd day in a row and I'm starting to think something's wrong. But seeing me like this frankly I don't blame him, not even I would want to see me in that condition.

So after such a day the only thing I want to do is sleep, and pray that tomorrow never comes.

**Day twenty five  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I almost got done memorizing all of my lines for Macbeth, there were only a few scenes remaining that I had to perfect. Though it was annoying as all get out I was actually starting to enjoy this. I mean I get to be a ghost in the play and torment that damn spork, I can't wait till then. I came up with something a little extra for the play, my own little surprise for the spork that I'm sure even Aizen would enjoy.

It also seems as though everyone had figured out about my catnip pills, which I'm surprised it took them that long. Did it look like I act like a happy crazed junkie on a daily basis? No it fucking didn't, so they should've figured it out yesterday! Then the bunch of assholes went about taunting me and the only thing I did in my nice catnip induced high was laugh with them. I so fucking hate them all.

Anyway I went about the day like I usually would (Factoring in the fact that I'm acting so damn nice to everyone.) and I learned some interesting facts. For the play Zammari, Yammy, and Aaronerio are playing the witches, which is vaguely funny in my opinion.

Yammy went about complaining all day about playing a ugly old hag, which just made me laugh harder (Which in my cat nipped state sounded more like a giggle than anything). Aaronerio just argued with himself over who had to read the lines in the play, evidently neither of them wanted to do it. And Zammari just sat around with his script all day practicing his lines.

During patrol I happily talked to Ulquiorra who for once didn't tone me out, which surprised me slightly. I mean why would he listen to me? Maybe it's because I'm nice now, I have noticed the others being more talkative around me. I mean any other time I'd be cussing their heads off and now I'm talking to them like I'm sociable, I fucking hate it.

Anyway where was I? Oh yeah talking to Ulquiorra during patrol and he didn't ignore me. It was weird though, because Ulquiorra not ignoring me? It was like the apocalypse was near, it also didn't help that I was smiling the whole time. I swear by the end of this week my cheeks are going to split in 2, my face is already hurting from all the laughing I do.

So after patrolling I went back to the living room to see something odd, pink freak was sitting on the couch staring at the floor with a weird expression. Now normally I wouldn't care but you have to understand I'm taking the feline arrancar form of anti-depressants. So against my better wishes I walked over and asked what was wrong, to say pink freak was surprised would be an understatement.

He then explained that one of experiments had gone missing, it was a very unstable one that would be dangerous if used wrong. After listening to him whine about how if someone used it and it backfires than Aizen was going to kill him, after listening I then tried to comfort him. Yes you heard fucking right, I Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez actually comforted that creep, while the entire time fighting myself mentally. During the whole ordeal I came up with hundreds of ways to kill the pink freak, and it helped but only a little.

So after that traumatizing experience I then went back to my room to lock myself up, hoping that nothing like that ever will ever happen again.

**Day twenty six  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was an interesting experience to say the least, if not somewhat creepy. It first started up when I woke up, I found that my room had been ransacked. How that could happen while I slept and it not wake me up? I had no clue. So after cursing up a storm and searching to see if anything missing the only thing I couldn't find was a shirt of mine. After pondering over this phenomenon I than took my 'happy' pill and set out about the day.

Today the idiots who followed me around every now and then...(I refuse to call them fraccion thus meaning I have none.) Came back today. I had sent them away for a while because they had been bothering me, so when they returned and saw me the way I act with the catnip they attacked me.

Evidently they thought I was an imposter and thus thought to kill me, I than went about explaining the situation in a very patient way that was so not like me. They still had trouble believing but after the catnip wore off and I got a hold of them they no longer believe I'm an imposter. As if the others saw me walking around happily and wouldn't suspect me as an imposter! If they didn't know about the pills I'd be dead by now.

So other than those idiots bothering me today I went about the day like normal, which wasn't weird. But what was weird was Barringan talked to me today for the first time since I've met him. Evidently I seem more friendlier to talk to, which I hate. It turned out that he was playing King Duncan in the play and he was outraged to be killed by that damn spork as well. I than happily told him that I had a surprise for the idiot during the play and he chuckled. Which was creepy even in itself.

He than proceeded to tell me he liked this version of me much better than my other, I myself just can't wait until I can stop taking these damn pills. I hate acting nice to everyone, I don't want to be their fucking friends! I want to kill half of them myself! So I than left and walked around like usual, talking to anyone I happen to come across.

I came across pink freak, there was still no sign of his stolen experiment. I had asked if he might of lost it but he just shook his head, he looked quite worried. I wonder what it could be...and then I remind myself that I don't fucking care. I also seemed to have acquired a nickname that the others like to call me when I'm under the influence. It is totally degrading and I ended up beating the damn spork for suggesting it, I know he did it to piss me off.

So now when I'm in my happy mode I am called Grimmy by the others. It's so fucking annoying! I hate that name! And worse I could swear Ulquiorra called me by that name, though I couldn't be entirely sure. It was during patrol and I had been talking to him like usual, which I'm thinking he's starting to tolerate, and he told me to shut up. I think he added Grimmy at the end but it was spoken so low that I couldn't be sure.

So after such a weird day I once again went to bed and yet again hoped that tomorrow wouldn't come.

**Day twenty seven  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

One more day until the play and I couldn't be happier, the sooner we complete this thing the faster it will be over. And hopefully the faster we complete this the sooner I can stop taking these damn pills. I mean how much longer am I going to be forced to endure this?

And if I hear the word Grimmy one more time than I'm seriously going to fucking kill some people. Even Aizen, Gin, and Tousen had taken to calling me that horrid nickname! I swear it's so fucking annoying! And the worse part is every time they call me that I fucking smile with them because I can't fucking control myself anymore!

I sent those idiots away again, my fraccion as they call themselves. But they are not my damn fraccion! I hate fraccion! They were annoying but I didn't hate them so they were not damn fraccion! They are just a bunch of idiots that won't fucking leave me alone!

So I sent them on a mission out in Hueco Mundo that should mean they won't be bothering me for another few weeks. Because lets face it trying to find a rock naturally shaped in a perfect square out in an endless desert was difficult to do. And yes I actually made them do it.

Anyway I finally figured out who Ulquiorra is playing in that damn torture exercise (Yes I actually think that's what this play is.) but I should've known yesterday. I mean I already figured out who everyone else was so I should've easily eliminated all the characters easily. I felt stupid considering it was one of the main characters, I should've seen it earlier.

Ulquiorra had to be playing Macduff, meaning he got to kill the damn spork! Lucky bastard. Well I still had my plan in store for the spork, oh and I can't wait. It's almost worth practicing for the actual play, but it is so not worth the catnip pills. Nothing in the world could make up for the week I've had due to those damn pills.

So now everyone is running around preparing for the play and I really couldn't care less, I mean I'm only doing this because Aizen is stronger than me. I like to fight but I'm not stupid, I know better than to cross him. Only releasing his spiritual pressure brings me to my knees so I have a clue what would happen if I fought him, me dying bloodily. Though you'll never hear me fucking admit it.

Oh and someone's reading my journal again! I found it in a completely different position from yesterday, meaning that someone is reading it and wants me to know. If I find out who you are than I'm going to fucking murder you while you sleep!

Other than that nothing out of the ordinary happened today really, though I can't say the same for tomorrow unfortunately.

**Day twenty eight  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today the play took place and I have to say it didn't turn out like I had thought. It wasn't a perfect play but it did turn out pretty decent if I do say so myself. I even think Aizen found it satisfactory. Though a few parts didn't go as planned, but hey were bad guys not actors.

The first big thing that didn't go quite as planned was when the three witches (Yammy, Zammari, and Aaronerio) were talking to Banquo (me) and Macbeth (Nnoitra). Yammy accidentally tripped over Zammari and went crashing into Aaronerio which ended up sparked an argument between them.

Though it interrupted the play it was still quite comical, even Aizen had chuckled when the two heads tried to bite each other. After that however the play commenced like usual, which considering who were the actors that was saying something.

The next big part was when after I was assassinated and I came back to haunt Macbeth. I than put my plan into action, which went off without a hitch. I had waited until the damn spork turned away before quickly and efficiently slicing the black sash that held his pants up, before quickly re-sheathing my sword. It was the best thing to happen during the entire play.

The spork's pants fell down around his ankles, and everyone burst out laughing. It felt so good to get back at him, I mean how often do you get to embarrass someone you hate without upsetting your leader? Aizen was even chuckling as Nnoitra quickly pulled his pants up. Pink freak had glared at me slightly from the side and I just smiled at him happily, I mean I was still under the influence of those catnip pills after all.

Barringan looked satisfied from the audience so it was a mission well done. I don't like the old geezer but hey getting revenge for both of us was sweet because there was more than one person to savor it.

The best part in my opinion was the ending where Macduff killed Macbeth, because it didn't go quite as the play was suppose to. Ulquiorra who was Macduff had even spoke his lines to everyone's amusement, it was actually quiet funny to hear him speak in anger with an emotionless voice.

Anyway Macduff was about to kill Macbeth so Ulquiorra had lunged at the spork with an actual intent to hurt. The blade had sliced his chest which he than yelled about until he realized he was suppose to be dead, in which he than promptly fell to the ground. So it ended up looking really fucking funny, but it wasn't until after the play that the real action happened.

Nnoitra had yelled at Ulquiorra about trying to kill him before Ulquiorra had replied back calmly that he was the fifth Espada meaning that he should've easily dodged it. I laughed my ass off at that, he got embarrassed, hurt, and dissed all in the same hour.

Well after the play was over Aizen had told us that it was satisfactory, in other words he wouldn't have to hurt us. And than told me I didn't have to take catnip anymore much to my pleasure, and everyone else's dismay. No more goody two shoes from now on, no more embarrassing chatting or acting nice to everyone. I'm back to fucking normal from now on, and I couldn't be happier.

There was one thing that bothered me today, Ulquiorra hadn't stalked me in a while and I just remembered it today. It's been 5 days I think since the last time he followed me which was odd. Oh well.

Thankfully this week is over and now I can sleep content, knowing that tomorrow I don't have to act like a crazed junkie. Ah life was good.

End

**

* * *

**

**For those of you who don't know the story of Macbeth here is a quick rundown on the story...**

Two generals named Macbeth and Banquo are out one day when they ran into three witches who told them that Macbeth would be the next king. They then said Banquo would begat a line of kings but would not inherit the thrown himself. Macbeth taking the witch's words set out to kill the king who was also one of his best friends.

He faltered however and his wife Lady Macbeth through her greed urged him to continue and kill the king. Macbeth then kills King Duncan and Lady Macbeth smears blood on a guards sword so they were not blamed.

Fearing for their lives King Duncan's two sons which one was named Malcolm fled, making them look guilty. Macbeth than became king but after remembering the witch's words for Banquo sent assassins to kill him. With Banquo dead Macbeth then went without fear, ruling. Though after a while Banquo's ghost came and haunted Macbeth until he went insane.

Macduff a friend of Macbeth became suspicious of Macbeth ascending to the throne so started to investigate, Macbeth in fear went back to the witches to ask for their assistance. They told him he could not be killed by man born of woman, which he translated to immortal. So when Macduff challenged Macbeth he accepted with no fear of being defeated.

But as they stood at the end of their fight Macbeth told Macduff that he couldn't be killed by man born of woman, and Macduff replied he was ripped out of his mothers womb. Thus meaning he wasn't born of woman, and Macduff slain Macbeth thereafter.

Malcolm learning of what happened returned to become king. Lady Macbeth who had went insane from the blood staining her hands committed suicide by jumping from the tallest tower of the castle. And thus bringing an end to Macbeth.

End 2


	5. Week Five

**Authors note:** Hello! It is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter for 'The life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez!' Be warned however that the Ulquiorra and Grimmjow couple starts to become more apparent in this chapter so if that offends you please leave. I'd like to thank xTexyArkx, ima-glomp-you, lamekirby, Chasingyesterday, and FrEaKyAoIFaN for their lovely reviews for my story. I hope you keep it up and enjoy this chapter! Now go my minions! And read!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, the game 'I Never', Linkin Park, or the nickname 'Trash'. If you think I did than I will be obligated to sell your body to science, I'm sure Szayel would like more specimens. But I do own Karite and Kurosu, so ha!

**Day twenty nine  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

After that damn play last week and the fact that I no longer have to take happy pills I had finally thought that things would return to normal... well as normal as a bunch of deadly psychopathic killing machines living under the same roof could be. But no, life had once again saw fit to fucking mess with me as much as it could.

So with hopes high this morning I had went to breakfast in a lighter mood than I returned in. It turned out that pink freak still hadn't found his experiment and he was becoming frantic, almost to the point of hysteria. But now that I am 100% catnip free I didn't give a damn so I just stared at him as though he didn't matter.

He then went about muttering about how he liked my old self better, I just shrugged. Like I care what he thinks. But the missing experiment still bothered me slightly, because if it goes like my life has been lately I most likely will be the one given the experiment by whoever stole it. I mean come on it seems to be the entire Espada's past time to screw with me.

During breakfast however Ulquiorra had came to me telling me Aizen had requested our presence. So with a bad feeling in my gut I went to see the so called evil overlord, which lately it seems he was becoming less of lately. So we arrived to see no only him but those 2 artists that painted our journals standing beside his chair, which was confusing. Did Aizen want something else painted? Because there was nothing else those 2 could actually do, their reiatsu was that weak.

But it was worse than I had thought, evidently Aizen saw great promise in their powers so he ordered us to train them. So now I had an honorary fraccion that I wasn't allowed to kill, Aizen specified it himself. I tried arguing with Aizen but he just released his reiatsu and I gave in without anymore fighting even though I glared, why the hell does he get to be so fucking strong?! I also wasn't allowed to send her off on meaningless missions like I did my stupid followers, I had to train her daily after patrol. It fucking sucks!

I ended up getting the one who liked Ulquiorra, her name was Karite I think. She was tall with black hair and red eyes. She also liked to talk... a lot. I swear she could go on for hours just talking about her favorite things which happen to be; Sleeping, eating, painting, and Ulquiorra. You cannot believe how much I've heard about the fourth Espada today, I swear I'm going to go insane!

Ulquiorra seemed to get the one that liked me thankfully, meaning I wouldn't have to put up with her. She was shorter than the other by about 3 inches, with white hair and lavender eyes. Her name was Kurosu and she liked to stare at me, all the time. Every time I see her she's staring at me, it was fucking weird. What was worse they both just wore those damn smiles that made it look as though they know everything. I hate that damn look.

So with a new fraccion living next door my life officially cannot get any worse, I mean now I have to put up with a female Arrancar that still looks and acts like a teenager. Fucking kill me now.

**Day thirty  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

When I had thought my life couldn't get any worse life itself just turns around to show me how much it fucking can. Sometimes I wonder why I hadn't killed myself yet to get myself away from this shit.

It started out when I woke up to see Ulquiorra in his released form bearing down upon me. I had quickly jumped out of bed and hid in a corner, because lets face it I am no match for Ulquiorra even when he's in his normal form. But as nothing happened I looked up to notice that it was nothing but a very life like painting on my ceiling. Upon looking around the rest of my room I was horrified to discover my entire room, ever square inch was covered in paintings of Ulquiorra in many different poses.

I then noticed my fraccion covered in paint sitting on the ground finishing the last picture off in a corner of Ulquiorra shooting a cero. I knew having a fraccion was a fucking bad idea especially an artist, why don't you think I ever have any! So after yelling at her in which she only smiled I ordered her to repaint my entire room white.

While she sat about doing that with a pout, I looked up and pondered how she painted the ceiling. It was awfully high up, more confusing was how did she know what Ulquiorra's released form looked like? Only the other Espada were suppose to know what we look like in our other forms. That and how she managed to paint such detailed paintings in only a short night, it completely baffled me.

After that I headed to breakfast with a not-so-happy fraccion that didn't care about voicing her opinions following along, but I didn't care and ordered her to shut up in which she did with a pout.

When everyone saw me with a follower they all chuckled until I explained to them the orders from Aizen, in which they only laughed harder. But when Ulquiorra walked in followed by a follower of his own they all fell silent, yeah they all laugh at me but not him. I swear only being the sixth Espada sucks.

I also discovered something else, something that sucks much more than my room being completely painted with my rival over every square inch. Evidently where I took catnip pills for an entire week it seems that I have some adverse side effects, such as suddenly relapsing into my affectionate self that is now dubbed Grimmy. It happened during breakfast while pink freak was still worrying about that experiment. I was suddenly nice to him and comforted him again, which freaked not only him but also my fraccion and myself out.

Pink freak than thought about it before telling me that I could relapse every now and then due to the steady stream of catnip I had taken. I then promptly turned back to normal before cursing so profusely that had even that damn spoon stepping back in surprise. So after that my fraccion now follows after me with a space of five feet and she watches my every move cautiously. To that I say good for her, I might not be allowed to kill her but there were other things I could do that made her wish I did.

The next strange thing that happened was during patrol, while me and Ulquiorra and our fraccion were walking. Evidently Kurosu and Karite had something up their sleeves because they kept whispering to themselves the entire time looking between me and Ulquiorra. Now I had exceptional hearing and yet didn't hear a damn thing that they were saying which pissed me off.

I also relapsed into Grimmy again during the patrol and sat about talking to Ulquiorra in a happy manner again. I heard Kurosu giggle behind me but I didn't care, too intent on making myself shut up. But it was even more surprising when Ulquiorra talked back to me, though it wasn't what I wanted to hear. He had told me to shut up, which pissed me off. Unfortunately however I was still in happy mode which meant I just smiled happily at him and stopped talking.

It wasn't till after patrol did I return to normal, so during training my fraccion I practically ran her to death. I had to get the anger out of my system one way and this was considered progress in her training so it was a win win situation. Though Karite didn't think so after she passed out 4 hours into intensive training, I am surprised she managed to go that long.

So I just left her there to sleep before heading in, because why should I care? So after entering my now white again room I headed to bed, glad that the day was finally over.

**Day thirty one  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Do you know the days that you go through in which you wish the entire world would explode and hopefully take you with it? Yeah I had one of those days, and my newly appointed fraccion wasn't helping in the least.

It first started out when I awoke to a large black gothic number 4 staring down at me from the ceiling. I knew immediately who was responsible and went about cursing her as I got out of bed. Upon getting out of bed I realized that my entire room was covered in the number 4, lots and lots of fours. With a green back drop that was the exact shade of Ulquiorra's eyes.

Upon questioning my fraccion she said that she wasn't allowed to paint Ulquiorra so she chose the next best thing. I then growled at her and ordered her to repaint my room white, again. She did so grumbling, and I had to force myself not to kill her. But only just. I than asked her why she didn't just paint her own room in which she replied her room was already painted with Ulquiorra. I think someone needs to check her head about the obsession, it's not normal... or healthy.

So after we headed to breakfast, which didn't go quite as planned. Karite had thrown a peice of toast at the spoon, (He got his shirts fixed unfortunately.) and hit him in the eye. Upon laughing he had retaliated by throwing his bowl at my fraccion who ducked, the bowl ended up landing on Yammy. Who in turn thrown his own breakfast into the fray, knocking Zammari right in the side of the head. Pink freak and the spoon than got involved and teamed up, they ended up using the spoon's collar as a catapult. Least to say it got some distance.

What came next was dubbed 'The greatest food fight in all of Hueco Mundo'. Food covered everything, even funnier was Ulquiorra was in the room and didn't stop it. Though I don't think even he could have stopped it after Harribel got involved. So the most strongest and badass killers in Hueco Mundo became part of a food fight which would be more commonly seen in a middle school lunch room.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the damn spoon emptying an entire pot of coffee down the back of my shirt. I ended up getting 3rd degree burns all down my back, I turned to him with a glare and he then replied that he didn't know it was hot. Yeah fucking right! I saw him pick it up off the burner with a smirk. I then beat him to a bloody pulp, even if he was higher rank than me. Even my fraccion who was covered in scrambled egg cheered me from the side lines and thrown food at him while I beat him up.

After the ordeal we had went on patrol again and it was finally getting to the point in which I could walk around the lake without putting more than 20 feet between us. Bad fucking idea that was. My fraccion and the other one, Kurosu, was talking amongst themselves secretly again. That made me suspicious, that and the fact that they had paper in their hands.

Now they say curiosity killed the cat but I never knew it could be so fucking literal. Upon approaching them Karite freaked and jumped away, did I mention they were closer to the lake than me? So I jumped at her again as she ran closer to the shore, bad idea. In my angered state I had put more power into my jump than I should have. In retrospect Karite can dodge pretty well, at least she had some skills.

So I went straight into the fucking lake, which was as cold as the last time I fell in it. Do you remember the Hollow animals that like to eat things that fall into their lake? Well I was one of those things they like to eat, and this time it wasn't no fucking catfish. It turned out to be barracudas, a lot of barracudas. Did I mention these barracudas like to eat people er Arrancars? Because if I didn't well you know now.

It also didn't help that I relapsed into Grimmy and tried to pet them. So not only was I wet with a large 3rd burn on my back, but I was covered in literally hundreds of bite marks. Though the biting did snap me out of my happy mode, so I ended up ceroeing all of the barracudas which in turn evaporated half of the water in the lake. After which I glared at my fraccion who in turn hid behind her sister. Instead of killing her on the spot I waited until her training time and put her through more Hell than you could imagine. She didn't even last an hour before she was down for the count, and I still didn't care.

So leaving her there to sleep I returned to my room, still slightly curious about the papers she had. I let it go and headed to bed, hoping for the life of me that tomorrow doesn't go as bad as it did today.

**Day thirty two  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I swear I really should be allowed to kill my fraccion, especially after this morning. She is the only thing right now that I want to kill more than anything. Not even Ulquiorra or the damn spoon is anywhere close to the level of anger I harbor for her.

Upon wakening, which I'm starting to dread in the mornings, I found myself blinded by what was on my ceiling. The Ulquiorra and the 4 was bad enough, but the damn spoon and pink freak making out? What in the fucking Hell was she thinking? Was she trying to make me go blind?

So after getting up I saw her in the corner painting another picture of the damn spoon being decapitated, which wasn't such a bad picture. I cursed her out yet again, for the third time in a row and she went about repainting my room white even without my orders this time. I asked her why she did it and she just shrugged and said she wanted to paint something different, she wasn't allowed to paint Ulquiorra after all.

After I got done with that I finally noticed my room was ransacked again, upon asking my fraccion she only said it was like that when she snuck in. So after looking around I discovered that a pair of my pants were missing, if my cloths keep disappearing like this I'm not going to have any to wear.

I also found out my journal was being read again, but I knew it couldn't be my fraccion because someone was reading it before she came along. If I fucking figure out who you are, Aizen be damned you're dead! So I sat pondering this as she repainted my room white... again. I also wondered where she kept getting that paint, there wasn't many places in Hueco Mundo that you can get that amount of paint to paint my room three days in a row.

I also wondered how anyone could get into my room to read my journal, ransacked my room and steal a pair of pants while I slept like a baby, and than my fraccion could come in and paint my entire room in the space of a night. It just didn't fucking seem physically possible! Something wasn't adding up and I'll be damned if I don't figure it out.

Anyway I went on patrol like usual and listened to my fraccion and her sister talk and laugh amongst themselves like usual. I hate it, and turning into Grimmy right in the middle of patrol? Not one of my favorite things, though Ulquiorra has a new nickname for me. Everyone else he calls garbage, but me no I'm different I'm 'trash'. I swear I hate my fucking life.

Even worse Ulquiorra decided, without my permission might I add, to train our fraccion together. Something about training them both together would developed certain skill or something like that. So I had another person to torture during training today, though she had more endurance than my fraccion. Karite however was more flexible and able to dodge more quickly, where as Kurosu was able to last longer during training.

I also discovered something new today, it was actually by accident that I found out about it. It seems Ulquiorra's fraccion also likes to paint things on his wall, I heard Karite muttering about it. So I wasn't the only one to wake up to odd pictures in the morning, hopefully she didn't paint me on Ulquiorra's wall it'll just seem creepy. I already had to put up with pink freak and that damn spoon painted on my own wall once, I don't think more than one of us deserves that.

So after working my fraccion into exhaustion again in which she grumbled at me, I went back into the base. Karite who was too tired to even move was left outside again, and yet again I didn't care. So upon going to bed I really hoped the wake up call I had this morning didn't happen tomorrow.

**Day thirty three  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have officially decided that my life sucked, and not the kind that teenagers complain about on a daily basis. No I mean sucks as in the kind that makes you question why you haven't killed yourself yet. And I owe it all to Aizen, his little shinigami sidekicks, all of the Espada, their annoying little fraccions, and last but certainly not least my own fraccion. The current bane of my existence.

I'm getting use to waking to finding things on my ceiling. Today it just happened to be a picture of Aizen pointing at me, with big bold letters at the bottom saying; "Aizen-sama is watching you!" I swear I'm going to kill her. The rest of my walls were painted with pictures of Gin and Tousen, and almost every one of them they were dying in some gruesome death. Well at least we had some things in common.

As soon as she saw me wake up she smiled and went about repainting my room white again. I didn't even get to curse at her today, that took most of my fun out of the day. I personally think she does it to mess with me in the morning, to see me react to the many things she paints on my ceiling.

So after that we headed to breakfast, only to be waylaid by Gin. Now seeing that creepy smiling face in the morning is one of the most annoying things in the world. So with a glare I asked him what he wanted, evidently Aizen had called a meeting for the Espada. He also said to bring my fraccion, which was odd. I wondered why Aizen didn't just blast reiatsu through the building like usual but as soon as I thought it he did it. So now I proceeded to the meeting room with a headache and a fraccion who looked as though she got beat up.

So after heading to the meeting I discovered that Aizen had ordered Ulquiorra's fraccion to come as well, she stood beside her sister with a smile. So as we sat down Tousen brought a large create in and than handed my fraccion a video camera. It turned out that that large create was filled with sake. But I didn't know where the video camera fit in to all of this, but I had a feeling I wouldn't like it.

Aizen then announced that we were going to play a drinking game... at 9:30 in the morning. Why the Hell he would want to do that? I had no clue. I sincerely think that Aizen had never been sane, and the 'events' he puts us through just solidifies my beliefs.

It turned out that we played, 'I Never'. A game where everyone takes turns saying they never did something, if anyone else had done what they said then they had to take a drink of sake.

I just shrugged, it wasn't everyday that you randomly got to drink in the middle of the day. Also evidently my fraccion was going to videotape it in case no one remembers it tomorrow. That kind of scared me a little, but I shook it off. It was better than catnip after all. He than warned us that if we lied we'd be issued an electric shock via the chairs we sat in, supposedly he had us rigged up to truth detectors somehow without our knowledge. Probably complments of pink freak, he's able to make anything he puts his mind to.

So after a long game of 'I Never' the day eventually went blank, as if my memory of the last half of that event no longer existed. Meaning I was drunk out of my fucking mind. Though I do remember some of it, like pink freak saying 'I never slept with a woman'. In which everyone drank except Ulquiorra, Harribel, Gin, and the spoon. That was a fucking surprise! I thought the spoon was straight before he and the pink freak started going out, it looks like he's gay through and through. Gin however just creeped me out, he had always went on and on about a girl he had back in the Soul Society. Evidently he never got into her pants, the pansy.

But even more surprising was the fact that Ulquiorra hadn't drank to that statement, which shocked about the entire room. He than looked at us with that emotionless look and we didn't think it was shocking anymore. Even if it was just for self-preservation.

So it is now midnight, and I have a massive gap in my memories. I also have this damn hangover that has been causing me more pain than you could imagine. My head feels as though it's splitting in two, and my fraccion isn't helping either. She's over in her room listening to music that she got from the human world, it was from a band called 'Linkin Park'. Never heard of it but it doesn't sound too bad, I probably would like it if it wasn't for this splitting headache I have! It also didn't help that she was listening to it at it's highest volume, I wonder why anyone hadn't killed her yet. I would if I could, but yet I can't.

So to bed I go, with hopes of remembering what happened earlier today. Because if I fucking embarrassed myself, than it was on camera held by my fraccion. And not only am I not allowed to take it from her but the entire Espada are going to watch it the next day. Oh fucking joy.

**Day thirty four  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

We reviewed the tape today and it fucking sucks! I've never been so embarrassed in my life. Before I start to rant on and on about it I'll start out with the beginning of my day.

Karite painted my ceiling... again. It was a large portrait of a band with large letters below saying 'Linkin Park'. So now I know that my fraccion has another obsession other than Ulquiorra, and yet again I don't think it's healthy. I mean she painted them to the last detail, it actually looked as though they were on my ceiling.

Even weirder was the fact that the rest of my room was painted with them as well, I could just fucking die. So after seeing me wake my fraccion said good morning before repainting my room to it's normal white color. Where in the hell did she get so much paint!? She has painted my room for 5 days in a row and yet she still has enough paint to repaint my walls to their original color? How does she keep getting more?

Anyway... after that we assembled into the meeting room to review the tape of the day before. So after everyone was present and seated, even though many of the Espada were groaning in pain from their hangovers, the tape started.

I learned a few interesting facts from this tape:

#1- The spoon was and always have been gay, along with Pink freak. That really wasn't too surprising, I mean I did find them making out in the kitchen. And plus they both literally screamed 'gay'. Also Ulquiorra had never slept with a woman either, which I remembered from yesterday. Nor had Harribel which wasn't surprising in the least.

#2- The spoon along with Aaroniero had both at one point tried to rape pink freak. With the spoon I don't think it was really rape, but Aaroniero? That just creeped me out. Evidently that was why Aaroniero was the way he was now, he should've known better to mess with an evil scientist... Especially one higher ranked than him.

#3- Aizen, Gin, and Harribel had all pantsed Tousen at one point. With Gin that wasn't too surprising, or Aizen for that matter if you think about it. But Harribel? When questioned she only said he stole her chocolate candy bars and never repaid her for them.

#4- Evidently Gin was the one who convinced pink freak to put catnip in my coffee that day, and that royally pissed me off. I fired a cero at him but in my drunken state almost hit Tousen who luckily wasn't drunk and was able to dodge it. Tousen hadn't drank to anything up to that point yet, the pansy.

#5- Also Yammy and pink freak were the only ones to have actually ate anyone after we were turned into Arrancars. Personally I don't want to eat anyone, how they could baffled me.

#6- Even more surprising was that Yammy had actually tried to eat Aizen at one point. That I found hilarious, to the point in which I had to laugh much to the dismay of the other hangover Espada. I still wonder why Aizen hadn't killed him for it, I know he'd kill me if I tried.

#7- It turns out that a few people had tried to kiss me without me being aware of it. First was the spoon, who during the truth and dare torture ritual we had to endure had tried to kiss me, that one I was aware of and I let it pass. He didn't succeed after all. Next was Gin, that asshole just wants to mess with me I know it. But even more surprising was Ulquiorra drank to that, now that just freaked me out. I don't even want to ask about that one.

#8- It seemed as though Tousen did drink once, he evidently attempted suicide at one point in his life. That made me chuckle, I kind of wished he had succeeded.

#9- It turns out that I wasn't the only one to flirt with Harribel when we first met. Starrk, Gin, Yammy, and even Tousen had all flirted with her, which was surprising in the least. Though now that I knew her I know better than to do that again.

#10- The one that creeped me out the most however was the 'I never slept with a man' one... Lets just say I want to scrub my brain out with bleach. Aizen, which made me shudder when I though about it had drank. Gin had as well, which wasn't really that shocking. The pink freak and spoon drank as well which wasn't surprising either. Harribel drank but considering she was a chick made it not surprising in the least. But Ulquiorra hadn't drank to that one either, nor had he slept with a woman. Did that make him asexual? I didn't know.

Also did I say that when I'm dead drunk that I'm extremely affectionate? If I hadn't than you know now. It didn't help either that I went Grimmy at that time, meaning that I was extremely lovable more so than I would've been. Towards the end of the tape some of the Espada were out of their chairs, many unconscious on the floor already. I was curled up on the floor, when I had looked up to see Ulquiorra still seated. I then without prior warning pounced him and proceeded to lay on him, the whole while purring. It was totally mortifying.

So after that embarrassing event I wanted to kill some people. The number one being Aizen for making us do that. The next on the list would be Gin for convincing pink freak to put catnip in my coffee that one time, which then I noticed he had managed to escape. The bastard. I then turned to see if Ulquiorra was still in the room, hoping that he hadn't watched the last part of that video. But there he sat in his chair, his eyes still staring toward the blank screen of the TV. I cursed my luck.

So I headed to bed, my mind still buzzing at what I learned. It was a little to much to take in so I left. I had to keep my sanity intact somehow right?

**Day thirty five  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

It sucks, so much. My life sucks so much that I'm thinking about going to sleep and never waking up, it would be a defendant improvement to my current life.

It first started out to waking up so see a picture of Tousen being pantsed by Harribel on my ceiling. though it was funny it wasn't what I wanted to see this early in the morning. So after getting up and seeing the rest of my room covered in various pictures that were depicted off the video I sighed. There was even a picture of me laying on Ulquiorra while I was drunk.

The picture that disturbed me the most however was the one above my bed (How she managed to paint it without waking me was a mystery.) It was a picture of me sleeping with Ulquiorra hovering over me. It looked as though he was leaning in to kiss me and it freaked me out.

So after seeing my fraccion sitting on the floor I than ordered her to repaint my room while cursing her out. She smiled at my reaction before repainting my room. Evidently she found my reaction to it amusing, well I didn't. It was weird seeing that on my wall, especially because it annoyed me so much.

Anyway I than proceeded to breakfast without my fraccion, leaving her to repaint my room. So the rest of the day proceeded like normal, that was until patrol. Do you remember that experiment that pink freak was missing? Yeah I found it. Unfortunately not the way I wanted to.

It turns out whoever stole the experiment had decided to use it against me like I figured. Just my fucking luck. Even worse when I figured out what it was suppose to do.

So now I have a tail, along with large cat like ears on my head the same color of my hair. It was so fucking mortifying, especially when my fraccion had jumped me to pet them. It is so fucking weird! Especially since I had to cut a hole in the back of my pants to allow for my tail, there goes a perfect pair of pants.

So I ended up cornering pink freak to get an explanation out of him. He explained that the experiment was designed to react to a Arrancar's personal attributes and strengthen them and make them more effective. Unfortunately he told me it was still experimental meaning he hadn't worked all of the kinks out. I almost fucking killed him for it.

He than explained to me that he couldn't come up with a way to reverse it yet until he knew the full effects. Did he have any idea what I had to put up with today alone!? I got pounced by no less than 5 female fraccions, evidently I am more adorable because of my new additions. So after beating up not only all of Harribel's fraccion (Don't worry they are still alive) but also torturing mine, and Ulquiorra's fraccion during training they had finally got over the urge to glomp me. Finally.

So after all I had to endure this week I also had to put up with a tail and ears? Usually in my released form I don't really notice them because I'm in my natural form and they fell a part of me. But being an Arrancar with these attributes? Fucking annoying. Do you have any idea how hard it is to sit down with a tail? Not easy in the least.

So with the new additions to my body I'm going to go to bed, and hope that life would give me a break. I mean I've been hit with almost everything the universe could throw at me, I deserve a break.

End


	6. Week Six

**Authors note:** It is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter for my lovely story! Before I start with the useless ranting I'll like to thank lamekirby, Chasingyesterday, Ashido Kano, and FrEaKyAoIFaN for their reviews for chapter 5! Now this chapter has some more development into the GrimmUlqui couple but not too much, so please enjoy! I know I do!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, duct tape, handcuffs, any of Szayel's experiments, a dry erase board with a large variety of colored markers and an eraser, an emotional epiphany, an IV, or Linkin Park. I do own my own OC's however and I guess that will have to do.

**Day thirty six  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Life finally decided to give me a break and went to fuck with someone else. And to that I say yay, though I'm still going through my daily mishaps that just happens to affect me. Like waking up to see a picture of me curled up with my tail and cat ears on my ceiling, bet you can't guess who did that.

So after finding my fraccion sitting and painting another picture of me cuddling with Ulquiorra I finally decided to mess with my fraccion back, though I would have to wait. Don't want her suspecting anything now do we?

So after getting up and cussing her out she started to repaint my room white... yet again. She was almost done when a loud shrill scream was heard from pink freaks wing.

Rushing there followed closely behind by my fraccion I got there just as the rest of the Espada arrived. We looked in his room to see all of his furniture, absolutely everything was either nailed or glued upside down on the ceiling. Even pink freak himself who was tied down in his bed was hanging upside down. How someone had managed to do that while he slept was a complete mystery.

So I laughed at him, a lot. But considering I was now sporting a tail and cat ears I was also being laughed at myself. But with pink freak it was just more funnier, especially considering everyone left him there and returned to breakfast. So we all ate while tuning out his shrill shouts and screams.

It wasn't until he went horse did the spoon go and cut him down. I'm glad that he finally shut up, his voice gets very annoying after 3 hours of constant screeching.

Also it seems that someone really likes my new ears, to the point of stealth petting. Yes I actually do call it that. It has been happening all day and I can't catch whoever it is. I would be just sitting there like normal when I would suddenly feel someone stroking my ears, which startles me. I then would turn around to try to catch them but they had usually disappeared before I turned completely around.

It's so frustrating! It's now getting to the point of driving me insane! And it's making me twitchy, to the point in which I do a quick turn like ever five minutes! It's so fucking annoying!

Also it seems that when someone had turned pink freak's room upside down (quite literally) a few more of his experiments were stolen. Many of them were still untested and I'm curious to see what they do. Hopefully none would find their way to me, I already have to suffer enough with what I currently have.

The next annoying part of my day however was during patrol and training I had both of the fraccion sisters staring at me, especially that Kurosu one. Thankfully they had got out of the habit to glomp me, now all I had to work on was the staring. Do you know how annoying it is to have someone staring at you for hours at a time!? Let me tell you it's not fun.

I did get my fraccion back however for the painting on my wall, having her running until she passed out and then dumping a bucket of freezing cold water. I personally think that was fitting punishment, she hated cold water almost as much as I did.

So to bed I go, with hopes of tomorrow being much more tolerable than today. Though today was pretty mild compared to what I had been enduring lately.

**Day thirty seven  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have came upon many revelations today, almost to many to cope with. I had been given a large amount of time today to think to myself without my annoying fraccion and I learned things about myself I didn't particularly like. And all of them pertained to Ulquiorra.

The first being the situation about my stalker, who hasn't been stalking me anymore. When I learned Ulquiorra had been following me it didn't particular bother me, other than a bit of annoyance and surprise. But now that I think about it I should've felt more than that, things like anger, the need for revenge or something of the like. And yet I felt nothing of the sort, which is weird.

Next was when I remembered curling up on Ulquiorra in my catnip induced high during truth or dare. I felt angry and mortified, but that was only because I was embarrassed to be acting like a complete and utter idiot. I should be feeling outraged, disgusted, things of that nature and yet I didn't feel any of them.

Another thing that bothered me was how I reacted when I saw Ulquiorra and Yammy conversing. I was angry yes, but it was more like jealousy now that I think about it. But why should I be jealous? It didn't make fucking sense in the least.

The second most disturbing though was my reaction when I was high on catnip or dead drunk. Why did I always target Ulqiorra? Every time I lose control over myself I go straight for him, before curling up in his lap and purring. Do you know how weird it is to purr in another male's lap? It's fucking creepy!

But the one that disturbed me the most was my reaction to the thought of Ulquiorra trying to kiss me. I should feel disgust, revulsion, at least anger but I felt neither. Just embarrassment and... relief? What the fuck!? Why would I fell relieved about finding out that Ulquiorra, the most emotionless Espada out of all of us, had tried to kiss me?

And why in the hell wasn't I more upset about this! It was almost as if I accepted it before I knew I did, it's so fucking weird I swear!

So I discovered that not only do I accept Ulquiorra stalking me I actually like it when he follows me. I only felt embarrassment when I curled up on him and purred. I get jeolous when Ulquiorra talks to others in a normal conversation but won't pay any attention to me. I like to pounce him when I'm out of my mind. And the thought of him kissing me didn't bother me...

What in the fucking hell is wrong with me! Nothing makes sense anymore! I shouldn't be feeling things like this! It was so distracting that I didn't even react to the large picture of Yammy eating Aizen on my ceiling this morning. Nor did I react when I learned that someone had supposedly put eyeliner on Zammari as he slept, I was that intent on my thoughts.

So now I'm going to bed, hoping that I die before I wake up.

**Day thirty eight  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Las Noches now officially has a prankster, and no one knows who it is. It started with me on Saturday, now sporting my tail and cat ears it wasn't hard to come to this conclusion. But followed by pink freaks room going upside down on Sunday, and the eyeliner on Zammari yesterday it just solidified my thoughts. Though with Zammari it turned out that the eyeliner was actually permanent marker, meaning he was stuck with it until it faded. Now I'm sure there is a prankster, especially after what happened today.

I woke like normal to see a large painting of the spoon dressed up in a pink tutu doing a jump on my ceiling, which is starting to become normal as well. After awakening my fraccion said good morning and then went about repainting my room white, again. I swear it was starting to become routine.

I then headed to breakfast to see the most surprising thing in the world, that damn spoon was now that damn fork. Someone had literally cut the large collars on his coat into a perfect rendition of a fork. It was fucking hilarious! It also didn't help that I kept getting the image of him in a tutu out of my head, I literally snickered at him almost all day. Because of that however the fork then went about blaming me, but my fraccion told him it couldn't have been me. She then explained that I was in my room all night, she was painting it most of the night after all.

So that just left the question on who it was. And whoever keeps stealth petting my ears is going to get the Hell beat out of them if I figure out who they are. I'm getting tired of randomly jumping for no apparent reason, the other Espada are starting to think I'm crazy. Which is not what I need right now.

Pink freak still hasn't made any progress into getting rid of the current banes of my existence, which would be a tail and two cat ears. Something about not being able to gather results or something like that. He then told me that he could find a cure, but he'd have to experiment on me first. To that I said hell no!

So I'm stuck with them for now, and I am quickly running out of pants without holes in them. Hopefully he will find a cure soon, one that doesn't need me being taken apart. I really like my insides where they are at currently, thank you very much!

Also after my many revelations that I had yesterday, I have no clue how to react when I'm around Ulquiorra. I hate it. I'm jumpy around him, and more nervous then I should be. And he's noticing it as well, he's been staring at me funny all day. Almost as if he could read my thoughts, though me walking about 8 feet away from him might've tipped him off slightly.

My fraccion is also aware of the change in my demeanor toward Ulquiorra, and she thinks it's funny. When no one else is around she starts to comment on it to see my reaction. In retaliation I worked her harder than usual during training today, along with her sister. Ulquiorra raised his eyebrows at that, I just shrugged. Like he needs to know what my fraccion tells me when we're alone. I think even the emotionless Ulquiorra might be kind of surprised to hear what she says.

So off to bed, with hopes that whoever is pranking everyone would hit Karite next. Because she really needs to be knocked down a peg or two.

**Day thirty nine  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

My prayers have been answered, Karite is finally silent. Before I get ahead of myself though I'll explain what led up to this wonderful moment in time.

It first started when I woke up to see a very gruesome picture on my ceiling, I was surprised to see the level of gore on there. It was a picture of my fraccion killing someone, bloodily. The unfortunate soul was painted in a way to where you don't know their identity but you could obviously tell by their outfits that it was an Arrancar.

Upon getting up I noticed Karite off in a corner painting another violent picture of Gin dying by dismemberment, I was surprised. Upon her turning to me however I noticed that she had a piece of duct tape on her mouth, and she had a look of murder in her eyes. After getting a muffled rant and then a piece of paper explaining the situation I finally found out what happened.

Evidently someone had used one of pink freaks experiments on the duct tape which made it reiatsu locked. Meaning it won't come off unless the person who put it on took it off. To say she was pissed was an understatement, and it would explain as to why my entire room was painted the way it was. It had almost every Espada and their fraccions dying in some brutal death.

She then explained (Via paper) that she didn't know who did it so she painted everyone to make sure she got the right one. I then sighed, she was more bloodthirsty then I had originally thought. After hearing her muffled ranting I then ordered her to repaint my room white. She nodded, though she was still angry.

It turned out that with her mouth tapped shut my fraccion couldn't eat, so to keep from starving to death she had to get an IV of nutrients to keep her alive. Did I ever mention that Karite hated needles? Well she does, with a passion.

I bet pink freak wished he had known that before he administered the IV. She beat the fucking shit out of him, literally on the verge of death kind of beating. It was gruesome, to the point in which even I had to turn away. Though she did get her IV in the end. So a weak artist fraccion with horrible reiatsu levels beat the shit out of the eight Espada, though with the way she was going I think she could've even beat Aizen.

So it was agreed that whoever gives Karite her IV the next time had better be careful and ready to run. Because lets face it, with that reaction to needles only someone above the 4th Espada could administer that IV and get away mostly scot free.

In other news someone is still stealth petting my ears, and it's more annoying today then it was earlier this week. Though that may be because I had to put up with a silent yet pissed off fraccion. So yes I was randomly jumping today, I swear it's weird to feel people touch my cat ears. The reason however is because I usually don't have them, meaning now that I'm feeling something I shouldn't be and it's messing with me.

Anyway during patrol and training Karite ranted to her sister, though with the tape she didn't say anything understandable. Kurosu looked sympathetic and acted as if she understood every word her sister said. Ulquiorra upon noticing my fraccion looked at me oddly, I then explained that it wasn't me that did it to her. He just nodded.

Lets face it, I'm more pissed that someone was able to shut her up before I could. And she knew that, she glared at me the entire day. It was almost as if she could hear my thoughts, but oh well. It didn't help either that I wasn't really looking for a way to get that duct tape off of her, I think that pissed her off the most. But hey I'm not about to ruin my silence by finding a way to help her.

So to bed I went to day, after a day of blissful silence. Though today her glare was almost as loud as her words, oh well.

**Day forty  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

The prankster strikes again, and this time it was Aaroneiro that was targeted. What happened to the two headed freak was awesome, It's one of the greatest things that happened in Las Noches.

It started out waking up to seeing a painting of what would be pink freak's funeral, with the grave and everything. It seemed as though Karite still harbored some anger for the eighth Espada for the IV thing yesterday. Though he was currently in the medical ward recovering from her beating. Anyway I got up to see her finishing a painting of the fork (bet you can't guess who that was.) crying over pink freak's grave. It was actually quite humorous to say the least.

After getting up and ordering her to repaint my room white, I headed to breakfast. That was where I caught sight of Aaroneiro, after the prankster got a hold of him. It turns out that the liquid that those 2 float around in was now a shiny bright red color. Even better was it changed colors every time his moods changed, though it was red most of the time.

I laughed so hard, I ended up falling to the floor with how hard I was laughing. But I couldn't help it, his jar now had mood coloring in it. To say Aaroneiro was pissed was an understatement, he went all day ranting about it. It was actually almost as annoying as having my fraccion ranting to me. Though she can't anymore, I'm still enjoying the break from her constant chatter.

Anyway Karite had started to carry around a small dry erase board, with a wide variety of colored markers and an eraser. She held them in a small bag at her side. When questioned she replied using the board that she needed to communicate somehow and that is what she decided to do. So now I have a fraccion who complains to me via a dry erase board, it's so annoying.

Also Aizen has chosen who would give Karite her IV, evidently no one would volunteer. Not that I particularly blame them. It turned out that Tousen was the one who now had to give her, her IV. Why Aizen cares enough to actually assign one of his shinigami lackeys to risk his life for something so stupid is beyond me. Also why he chose a blind person who couldn't see where he was poking that damn needle, I will never understand.

It gets even better though. Before my fraccion got her IV she said, via dry erase board that if Tousen touched her with that needle she was going to castrate him. He couldn't see it however and missed that small bit of information, and I wasn't going to tell him either. Let it be a surprise. Though I did laugh over her threat, I kind of wished she would do it.

So my fraccion got her shot, and Tousen got away mostly unscathed. Though he did end up getting a vicious kick to the groin, in which he flash stepped away immediately afterwards. In his pained state I couldn't see how he managed it, if I was in that kind of pain I doubt that would be my first thought.

Also it seemed as though my stealth petter was getting more bold, to the point of also petting my tail. It's so annoying! It makes me twitch every time, and I never turn around fast enough to catch them. I just sit there now, no point in turning around if I can't catch them.

Patrol and training went by normally however, and afterwards I headed to bed. The universe was finally screwing with someone else for a change and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.

**Day forty one  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

The prankster has decided once again to hit, and today it was a two for one deal.

I awoke like usual to see a picture of Tousen on my ceiling, only he was tied upside down above a tank of Hollow sharks. Big Hollow sharks. Surrounded by many Hollow Piranhas, meaning that if the sharks didn't get him those little monsters would. It was actually quite humorous, though not something I'd like on my ceiling. After getting up I noticed my entire room was nothing but pictures of Tousen dying in so many different ways. I then cursed my fraccion out and forced her to repaint my room white again.

Upon asking why she just didn't do that in her own room she responded (Via the dry erase board) that she didn't want to paint over the Ulquiorra or Linkin Park paintings in her room. That made me sigh, obsessions are not healthy. Especially one for Ulquiorra.

I then proceeded to the kitchen for breakfast to come upon those that got pranked. The first was Kurosu, standing behind Ulquiorra she now sprouted a head of emerald green hair. Though after hearing her out she actually liked it and had decided to keep it as her hair color. Fail one for the prankster, she actually enjoyed it.

The next however was actually pretty cruel if I do say so myself. Someone had put a reiatsu locked devise on Starrk, so that every time he dozed off it gave him a mild shock. It was located on his chest, and couldn't be removed. Not even I'm that cruel. So he's been awake for an entire day, the poor sap. He sat in a chair all day twitching, and he looked on the verge of tears. Even I felt sorry for him after he got shocked the fourth time.

I'm kind of waiting to see what the prankster would do to Ulquiorra, call it natural curiosity or whatever but I wanted to know. I wonder if it would be as humiliating as what happened to me, because I shouldn't only be the one to suffer.

In other news Tousen didn't get too beat up when he gave my fraccion her IV, though he did get part of his shades slashed off along with a dreadlock. That's not counting the large scratch starting at his cheek and going back towards the back of his head. Luckily he was able to get away in time and didn't lose an ear, that was what she was aiming at after all.

And my fraccion pulled her Zanpakuto out for the first time, I hadn't seen it till today. It was a large dagger that she kept hidden up her sleeve, it was sharp and it was deadly. She didn't even release it and yet she took Tousen by surprise, and he brags about knowing these things. Hah, proved him wrong.

After Tousen left she then returned it to her sleeve before leaving with a huff. Even I could tell she was disappointed that she missed a major body part. Though it did teach me to watch out for that dagger, she was extremely quick with it.

And someone is still stealth petting my ears damn it! I can't wait until these cat ears and tail is gone! Then finally I might get some peace while the world is out fucking someone else's life up.

**Day forty two  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Remember when I wrote about wondering what prank Ulquiorra would get? Well I found out and it fucking pisses me off more then you could possibly imagine! Especially because it concerns me as well! Just when I thought the universe had decided to give me a break!

It first started out when I woke up, only I wasn't in my bed. I wasn't even in my own room. Somehow in my sleep I had found my way into Ulquiorra's room, in his bed. Even worse was the reiatsu locked handcuffs locking us together. So I had woke up to none other then Ulquiorra beside me, who was still sleeping deeply at that point.

Now when Ulquiorra wakes to find strange people in his bed he reacts, and not positively either. I found myself hit off his bed... hard. Which with us tethered together he was forced to come with me. Now getting hit by the fourth Espada early in the morning was bad enough, but landing on the floor roughly and then having him fall on me? Not fun in the least. I think I broke a few ribs, and my sternum.

So after getting up and explaining to him that it wasn't me that locked us together and that I wasn't to happy with the arrangement either, we went to Aizen. Of course by Ulquiorra's orders, I'd never go to Aizen for help willingly. The 'evil overlord' was surprised to say the least before telling us we'd have to put up with it until the one who put them on us came forward. At this rate we are never getting free!

So now I was stuck with Ulquiorra Sciffer, someone in which I didn't want to be stuck to. I also have him behind me while I'm writing in my journal, and it's making me twitchy. Like I need him reading my journal. Also I seem to be better at writing with my left hand then I had originally thought, I wouldn't have found that out if it wasn't for my right hand being stuck to Ulquiorra's left hand.

So after going to my own room to check on my fraccion and get some new cloths I had discovered Karite sleeping on my floor. Even more surprising was my room was still white, not a single picture was painted on my wall. Upon waking her in which she attempted to give me a hug she then explained (Via dry erase board) that she was worried about me and didn't get time to paint my room because she was too busy worrying. She had came to my room last night to find me gone. When she noticed me handcuffed to Ulquiorra however all concern for me vanished and she started to laugh at me. I then busted her own bubble by telling her, with a menacing smile of course, that it was time to get her IV.

Tousen managed to get away this time without any major injury, though he did get another dreadlock cut off. Ulquiorra was impressed at how fast my fraccion was, I had to agree with him. She was extremely quick when motivated, and nothing motivated her more then a good needle. After getting her IV we then proceeded to the kitchen to get breakfast, and had to endure laughs from our comrades. I just growled at them, It's all I could do. Though when Ulquiorra stared at them they all shut up.

Starrk was still awake, and still twitching. He's getting to the point that he's hallucinating, he ended up calling me auntie Millie today. Whoever that was I had no clue, so I just hit him on the back of his head and he was back to normal. Well as normal as a sleep deprived Starrk could be.

I didn't get stealth petted today, thankfully. I think it was because Ulqiorra was there, he'd surly find out who was doing it. Though it could be him doing it, which only creeped me out so I'm just ignoring that thought for now.

The worst part of my day however was when Ulquiorra had ordered that we were to sleep in his room, meaning I get to sleep on the floor and he gets the bed with his arm dangling over. Bastard, does he know how hard the floors are in Las Noches? They are made of fucking marble for crying out loud! Thankfully though he did fucking lend me a pillow (Note the sarcasm).

So I am not looking forward to sleeping, or tomorrow for that matter. Because I have a feeling that it will not go well, and being handcuffed to Ulquiorra just solidified my feelings.

End


	7. Week Seven

**Authors note:** Hello again! Sorry for the delay with my stories! My sisters has discovered Left 4 Dead recently and has been pestering me to play with them, all the time. So I haven't been typing much, but here it is chapter 7 finally! I would like to thank lamekirby, Ashido Kano, and FrEaKyAoIFaN, XTexyArkX, crazykk2, PhreashxxxBear, Undacuvasesshyluva, Mistress -Freak! Wow I'm really starting to get a following! Now go my slaves er I mean readers and read!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach nor Linkin Park, if I did do you think I'd be on Fanfiction? I'd so make the Bleach episodes with Linkin Park music in the background, but I could only wish.

**Day forty three  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

So much was wrong with today, so much. It got to the point that I'm surprised the sky didn't just fall down and crush us, after a while I was actually expecting it to.

It started out waking up to find myself cuddling Ulquiorra's arm that hung down from the bed. Now the reason it was so creepy however was that Ulquiorra's hand was cupping my cheek, thus explaining my reaction thereafter. I jumped back in surprise and threw his arm away as though it burned, thus waking Ulquiorra himself. After telling him I was startled awake and making sure he didn't know about me cuddling him, we got up.

Aizen also announced to us that the threat to Las Noches was gone and that we didn't have to patrol anymore, as if there was any threat to begin with. Though we still had to train our fraccion in the evenings, so I wasn't completely free.

Upon going to my room to get clean cloths I was surprised to see my fraccion scrapping layers of paint off my wall. When asked she replied with the dry erase board that there was too many layers of paint on my wall, so she couldn't paint anymore until they were gone. I just sighed before grabbing cloths and leaving her to it, Ulquiorra just stared at me oddly but I didn't comment.

It also turned out that changing was a major problem, it took us half an hour just to change our cloths. Because between being handcuffed together and uncomfortable in each others presence it made it extremely difficult. After that we had to overcome the problem of using the bathroom, which was a whole nother story. One I really don't want to go into.

Anyway after our trying morning I had to take Karite to get her IV again, well Tousen got away this time. And she didn't even get to touch him, he was gone that fast. It looks like he learns from his experiences after all. So my fraccion got her IV and Tousen got a way without a scratch. A good day in my opinion.

It also turned out that Karite has a someone new to bother, and that was the fork's fraccion. Tesla. He had said to her face that Linkin Park was a horrible excuse for music... you could swear he just punched her in the face and said she was a bitch and then called Ulquiorra a good for nothing emo. To say she was pissed would be an understatement, she beat him up. Badly.

After she had sufficiently kicked him around she left with a huff, spelled out on her board that it was only the beginning for him before stomping away. So now she's off in her room thinking up things to do to him to ruin his life, well at least she's leaving me alone.

In other news the prankster hit again, and it was vaguely funny. Whoever it was had replaced all of Harribel's jackets with very ugly, very large sweaters. The kind you'd see old ladies wear, today she was wearing a pink one with a puppy on it. It was actually pretty hilarious. Stark upon seeing it laughed at her, though due to lack of sleep it sounded a little hysterical.

So after today it's time to sleep on the floor again, and it sucks. Though I am starting to think about gnawing my hand off, at least I wouldn't be attached to Ulquiorra anymore.

**Day forty four  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was an interesting experience to say the least, though not in the way I expected.

It started out to waking up cradling Ulquiorra's arm... again. This time however I didn't freak and jerk my arm away, so it didn't seem like such a desperate move. Though I did jerk my arm backwards, thus pulling him off the bed. But as though he was expecting it he landed on his feet wide awake, and they say I have cat like reflexes.

Upon going to my room this morning I noticed it wasn't painted, evidently my fraccion was so busy plotting that she didn't get around to it. I sighed in relief and grabbed some clothing, I really didn't want Ulquiorra to see what she liked to paint on my ceiling. It's embarrassing enough just for me.

I found Karite this morning giggling madly at the breakfast table, though with a duct tapped mouth it sounded kind of weird. When Tesla entered breakfast however I found out why, on his forehead was the sentence 'I am a fucking sissy' wrote in permanent marker. Even better was that he didn't know a thing about it, so he was being laughed at by everyone and didn't know why. I know I got a few good laughs from it.

After that my fraccion got her IV and Tousen didn't get away fast enough. He's now sporting a large bruise on his forehead where Karite head butted him. Not surprisingly she had one that matched it on her own.

Oh and the prankster hit again, and it was three for one today. All of Harribel's fraccion got superglued together, with some of pink freaks super duper unbreakable adhesive (That's what he called it). It was guaranteed to never come off nor break. Their shoulders were glued to each other's in a perfect triangle facing away from each other, and they fought about it all day.

I then laughed at them, in which they glared at me. But they knew better to try anything, I've already beat up one of them for the prank a few weeks back. You know the milk in front of my room and the bucket of ice cold water above my door? Yeah that was done by the one called Apache, the one I hate the most. She just pisses me off. It was also payback for the time they glomped me after I got my cat ears and tail. So yes I laughed at them today, but wouldn't you?

Also those two bitches Menoly and Loly decided to bitch at me about being disrespectful to their 'Aizen-sama'. Since when did he belong to them? And Ulquiorra wasn't helping me by telling me that they were correct and he did deserve my respect. Like Hell I'd admire someone who put me through more crap then you could possibly imagine. I swear I will kill those two bitches, I got a lecture from Ulquiorra I couldn't escape from.

So that put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day, but toward the night it finally started to look up for me. Evidently Aizen had finally realized that I was sleeping on the floor and ordered some random lower Arrancar to take my bed into Ulquiorra's room. That's the first thing Aizen's ever done that I actually like.

So now I'm sleeping on my own comfy bed tonight, and it feels so good! It almost makes being handcuffed to Ulquiorra bearable.

**Day forty five  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I've discovered a few more flaws to having a cat tail and cat ears. That's not counting the stares I get from all the girls, (wouldn't be so bad if they didn't think I was adorable), Nor the fact that my hearing has gotten stronger, (I really do not need to hear some of the shit that goes on in the other Espada's rooms.) or even that it made sitting down literally impossible. Before I go into it however I'll start on how my day went, from waking up this morning.

I thought having my bed in Ulquiorra's room to sleep on would be a good idea, well it wasn't. It turned out that my bed was level with his, with a space of half a foot between them. Evidently that was just enough room for me to somehow migrate over in my sleep to his bed, and curl up at his side.

I freaked! That was the only word that even remotely described what I did when I awoke next to Ulquiorra this morning. I literally jumped 3 feet in the air, even though I was laying down. Thus waking Ulquiorra up in the process, which then made the situation more awkward. Thankfully however he stared at me emotionlessly for a bit before getting up, not saying a word about it. I was so glad that he didn't say anything, it was bad enough on it's own without his input.

So I got up in a bad mood, though it was only the beginning. Evidently I've gotten so used to my tail that I don't notice it anymore, meaning I don't look where I sit. I've sat on it 8 times today alone and it fucking hurts! Even worse is when I sit on the couch other people sit on it as well, do you know what it's like to have Yammy sit on your arm? That was practically what it equated to at the end when Yammy himself sat on my tail.

Also my tail likes to curl around things, like my leg or someone else's. I don't even know why it does that, but I was interrupted by Ulquiorra who told me to take my tail off of him. It was true that my tail was curled around his leg, right at the knee. It was so fucking mortifying!

Also it seemed that my ears seemed to express certain emotions that I don't like the others to see. Much like curiosity at something small and round, which just happened to be my fraccions new bell she wears around her throat. I swear she got it just to see me watch it closely with my ears twitching. Even worse I didn't know I did it! If it wasn't for Ulquiorra pointing it out to me I wouldn't have even known!

It also turned out it showed my annoyance towards Aizen, evidently during the entire meeting today my ears were laid back to my head. An obvious angry feline reaction, and yet again it was Ulquiorra to point this out to me. It also didn't help that my ears also liked to go forward when Ulquiorra talks to me but they don't for anyone else. It's weird.

In other news my fraccion got her IV today with no injuries to Tousen. He was getting good, but so was Karite. I actually saw her making plans on her dry erase board to out maneuver him and injure him in the future. I left her to that, at least she wasn't bothering me.

She also put a red sock in with Tesla's laundry, making all of his clothing a bright shade of pink. He was so mad and she laughed menacingly at him, that was before he attacked her. Wrong move on his part, my fraccion had just came back from her IV, and she was frustrated that she hadn't drawn blood from Tousen today.

So he got beat up again, the fork is actually getting to the point that he doesn't even reprimand his fraccion for getting beat up by a weaker one. He did get to see the fight, and he saw what my fraccion was capable of. I have to say the training was working, I hate to admit it but Aizen was right. But only about Karite being stronger then she actually was.

Oh and the prankster hit again, do you remember the super duper unbreakable adhesive that pink freak had stolen from him? Well they used it on the tea cups and teapot at the meeting, evidently a joke on Aizen. So when everyone went to take a drink of tea the cups wouldn't come off the table, and the teapot was glued to the tray carried by Tousen. So no tea today, though I wouldn't really call that a prank.

Though it was humorous and surprising when Aizen cut the table in a circle around his tea cup so he could pick it up, even going so far as tipping the teacup with the tray attached to pour tea in his cup. Nothing can stop Aizen from his tea, absolutely nothing.

So after today I'm going to bed with hopes of staying in my own bed. Because I don't think I can stand another morning like this one.

**Day forty six  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Well I woke up in my own bed today, well mostly. My entire upper torso was on Ulquiorra's bed, but at least my lower body remained where it was suppose to. I found myself laying horizontally between our beds, my head resting against Ulquiorra's back.

I controlled my first instinct (Which was to jump away as fast as possible.) and moved back over to my bed without disturbing him. It was a close call but I got away this time without waking him, thankfully.

We then proceeded to my room so I could changed and such. It turned out however that Ulquiorra wanted a shower, and then told me I had to take one too. Said something about being tethered to dirty disgusting trash, that one pissed me off. But not as much as having to take a shower, do you know how much I hate water?

When I refused he warned me that he would tell everyone what I did in my sleep, though I myself didn't know. It turns out I chew on my thumb in my sleep, and he threatened to tell every Espada about it.

So I stood outside the bathtub with my arm inside with Ulquiorra while he took his shower, do you have any idea how fucking awkward that was? You couldn't even possibly understand! Even worse was when it was my turn, because I hate water with a passion. It was something I don't ever want to repeat. Though if we remain like this much longer, I have a feeling it was going to happen much more often.

Anyway the rest of the day went by smoothly, well as much as it could with being an Espada. My fraccion got her IV, Tousen got a punch to the gut. A lucky blow if I do say so myself, it seemed as if her strategies were working. Tesla got pantsted in front of the entire Espada today, funny stuff if I do say so myself.

Also I discovered what that paper was my fraccion had a few weeks ago, you know the ones I tried to grab before inadvertently jumping into the lake? It turned out that they were photos, of me. I almost beat her up for that, they were photos of me she took when I wasn't paying attention. Evidently she was trading them to her sister for photos of Ulquiorra, I swear I hate my fraccion... and her annoying green haired sister.

After burning the ones I manage to get from her with a cero I then took her to get her IV. Tousen made it away this time, and didn't get injured, but just barely. She almost got him with a roundhouse kick, though he managed to duck and flashsteped away. She almost was pissed to say the least but oh well, like I care.

Also the prankster hit, yet again. And it was the old man that got hit, though it didn't seem much like a prank. Well to me it wasn't, but old Barragan was pissed. Someone had dyed his hair and mustache black, making him look much younger then he actually was. But he was still pissed, because he said it made look less experienced.

Harribel was still wearing ugly sweaters and Stark was still sleep deprived. My own fraccion was still duct tapped, while her sister was green haired, and all of Harribel's fraccion were still glued together. Pink freaks room was still upside down and the spoon was still a fork. Aaroneiro was still changing colors depending on his mood, and Zammari was still sporting eyeliner. I still had my cat ears and tail and Ulquiorra was still chained to me. Aizen had his other tea cups glued to a table and now Barragan looked 100 years younger. What's next?

So to bed I go, wondering what the prankster will think up next.

**Day forty seven  
****Thursday  
**Dear Fucking Journal,

I finally woke up in my own bed this morning, though it wasn't a complete victory. It seemed that I had somehow pulled Ulquiorra over to my bed without waking him up. He was laying against my back with his arm in my own possession, how that happened I had no clue.

So I had moved him over to his bed without waking him up, though it was a close call. Who knew that Ulquiorra was such a heavy sleeper? He seems the type to wake up when someone even breaths outside his door, and here he is sleeping while I move him physically back over to his bed.

After getting up and forcibly putting the morning experience out of my head I went to breakfast, with Ulquiorra in tow. It turns out that Starks fraccion was the next one to be pranked, and man was it awesome. She was tied upside down to a post outside, she sat there screaming all day.

Evidently Stark didn't want to go free her and no one else volunteered. So she sat out there... all day long. Though she did get freed by Harribel's fraccion before nightfall, in which she cursed all of us out. I just tripped her as she walked by, she was an annoying little bitch to say the least.

Though something strange did happen today, I found my fraccion sitting on my floor giggling madly. She was completely surrounded by scattered piles of papers with very detailed and complex drawings on them. Upon asking she said it was a plan to mess up Tesla's life more then it was already. In response I told her that picking on someone usually meant you liked them.

You could swear I just told her Ulquiorra had died and Linkin Park had broke up. She looked that horrified, though I think it would've been funnier if the tape was gone and I could see her mouth gapping open. She then went about cursing me, though it was muffled, as I left. Ulquiorra just stared at me, I asked him 'what?' and he just shook his head.

What the Hell's his problem? It's hard enough to read him, I don't need him hiding the few things I actually do see. Though Tesla did get out of being picked on today, he better thank me for that.

So anyway, we then took my fraccion in for her shot and lo and behold Tousen got caught today. She managed to grab him by his dreadlocks before he ran, she then went for his throat. Thankfully, well I didn't think so, he managed to free himself and before escaping. I actually think Ulquiorra enjoyed watching the blind shinigami escape from my weak fraccion, I know I get a lot of enjoyment from it.

Something interesting happened during training today, and of course it involved me. Our fraccion had told us that they wanted to spar, 2 on 2. Now normally they wouldn't stand a chance, and I told them that. But now being tethered to Ulquiorra though, they thought that they might actually have a chance. And they told us that, well Kurosu did. So after an hour of begging and annoying Ulquiorra finally caved and we fought.

They didn't even touch us, though it did take us a while to work together successfully. I enjoy going into battle, using my brute strength to defeat my enemies. Ulquiorra liked to stay back and strategize, while mentally defeating his opponents. So it wasn't easy, not in the least. But after we worked out our problem of being cuffed together we defeated them easily.

So to bed I go, glad that I got to fight a little. Even if it was just a spar against my fraccion, because it gets boring without being able to fight all the time.

**Day forty eight  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today I awoke in my own bed, with Ulquiorra in his own. Though I couldn't say it was a complete victory, because we were holding hands. Somehow in my sleep my hand found Ulquiorra's, even more surprising was that his hand was curled around my own. So not only was a freaked out when I woke up, but I was also creeped out.

It annoys me that I reach out to him while I'm unconscious, even worse when I don't know why. Evidently I like to cuddle things in my sleep, my apparent favorite is Ulquiorra. And my tail is still causing me problems, like curling around Ulquiorra's legs. I fucking hate it! I'd randomly be standing there and Ulquiorra would tell me to take my tail off of him, I'm not even aware it does that!

So after that we headed to breakfast on to see the most oddest thing I've ever seen. It turned out that the prankster hit again, and this time it was Yammy's turn. There was a muzzle perfectly made to fit his face, and it was reiatsu locked. So now he had to eat food out of a blender through a straw. I found that infinitely hilarious, he however didn't.

But now all of the Espada had been pranked, only a few remained that hadn't been. A few of the fraccion were left, they were all that was left. Loly and Menoly haven't had anything done to them yet, I'm actually waiting for that one. Neither of Barragan's fraccion got pranked, not had Gin, Tousen, or Tesla. Though with Karite picking on him all week the prankster probably figured that he would wait, he wanted us to know he did it after all.

But that reminds me, Karite had stopped picking on Tesla. Evidently she let what I said get to her, I found her sitting in my room muttering to herself. It was actually quite entertaining, especially when I listened to her ramble to herself about not liking Tesla.

Anyway I had to take another shower today, oh joy of my life. And it was as awkward as the first time, and I still hated the water. Though it was embarrassing, it was over quickly and I was grateful to Ulquiorra for finishing quickly. Evidently he was becoming more aware of how much I hate water, and how I wanted it to be finished quickly.

Next I had to take Karite to get her IV, and Tousen got away. But just barely, she almost got him. He had managed to pull back half a second before her dagger would've sliced open his throat. It's actually becoming a daily amusement to the other Arrancars, a few are starting to come in to watch the blind shinigami dodge my fraccion's attempts at killing him. I'm thinking about charging money for admission, I wonder how much I'd get for it.

Next we had another Espada meeting, and yet again it was about nonsense we already knew. Like who our enemies were and whatnot, personally I think Aizen just wants to hear himself talk. Though he did say a few new things, like how we are getting a new table soon. Our current one has holes in it to where the teacups were cut off, so we could expect a new one in the next few days.

Also it seems as if someone is reading my journal...again. I swear if I find out who it is they will die, I have this feeling that it's Gin. Though it wouldn't be surprising if it was him, it seems like something he'd do. It sucks because I write everything down in here, I also write my feelings. Which I really don't need anyone else to learn about, so I'm going to start hiding my journal in a more secretive place.

So to bed I go, with hopes that when I wake I'm not touching Ulquiorra. Though thankfully he's been asleep for the last two days when I awakened, it's embarrassing enough just for me.

**Day forty nine  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

It got worse when I woke up this morning, I finally thought that I'd wake up on my bed alone. But no, life just loved to screw with me. I ended up waking in my bed, though I woke up to find Ulquiorra on my chest. And unfortunately for me he was already awake, oh joy.

So this morning started off awkward yet again, I swear I can't get a break. It also didn't help that my tail was wrapped around him as well when I woke up. I swear the universe hates me.

Next I went to my room to see my fraccion sitting on my floor, she was brooding off in one of the corners. She had even painted the surrounding walls and floor kind of gloomy, it was black with a tint of dark gray. To say I was weirded out was an understatement, so after gathering some cloths I left her in her own little world.

Then when we went to breakfast I saw something I've never thought nor wanted to see. Evidently the prankster hit again, and decided to go for Gin this time. He was wearing now wearing a hot pink and black corset, with a pink frilly skirt, along with thigh high hot pink and black boots.

To say I was disturbed would be an understatement, even better it seemed reiatsu locked. He stood there with his usual smirk, though even I could see it was strained. I guess he was trying to maintain some dignity, though with that outfit he didn't have much left. After the initial shock wore off I laughed, but wouldn't you? It was just too funny.

Next Karite had to get her IV, and she was still brooding from earlier so it was pretty entertaining. Evidently when my fraccion broods she is mean, almost nasty one could say. I think I should've warned Tousen before he gave her the IV, though I hated his guts and particularly didn't care. Now I'm glad I didn't warn him, more fun for me. Even a few of the Espada actually showed up for the show today, and their fraccions.

She got him today, and she got him good. He didn't even have a chance to turn before she grabbed him, he got the living hell beaten out of him. It was actually pretty entertaining if I do say so myself, I actually think someone brought popcorn to watch the show. I really liked it when she knocked his feet out from under him and kicked him in the stomach, it was awesome. And the dagger slice to his chest, very nice.

After she beat the shit out of Tousen she returned to my room to brood. I wanted to tell her to go to her own room, but after that display I think not. I actually want to live to see the next day thank you.

After that the day then started to progress normally, that was until life decided it was going to smoothly and went to screw with me again. Me and Ulquiorra was walking when someone tripped me, and no I didn't trip over my own feet. I felt someone trip me with their, and I think I know who it was. Gin was the only one to stalk around Las Noches without being noticed, though I could vaguely sense his presence when he was near.

I did laugh at him a lot this morning, I guess it was payback. Anyway when I fell, Ulquiorra went with me. I ended up landing on my stomach and Ulquiorra landed on my back, do you know how painful it is to have someone land on your back? Well it hurts, especially when your arm was twisted around to accommodate the position.

So not only did my arm and back hurt, but it was a very embarrassing position to be in. Especially when most of the Espada turned the corner and caught us that way. It's not everyday you see me, Grimmjow, laying on the floor with Ulquiorra sitting on my back.

So I'm going to bed with a hurt arm, a practically broken back, and a bruised pride. Because lets face it, I hate to be on the bottom.

End


	8. Week Eight

**Authors note:** Hello faithful readers, and here is another chapter of my story 'The life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. But first I would like to thank Dior Crystal, lamekirby, Silvermoon123, PhreshxxxBear, ima-glomp-you, Dante123, Crazykk2, Mistress -freak, tokenoiz for their lovely reviews. I'm gather such an army! Now go my minions and read!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, any of Szayel's experiments, Aizen's evilness, Gin's creepiness, Tousen's… annoyingness, Ulquiorra's emotionlessness, Grimmjow's meaness, or Nnoitra's freakiness. I do own Karite and her weirdness, and Kurosu and her green hair… Well it's better then nothing.

**Day fifty  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was interesting to say the least, though I myself didn't enjoy it.

It started out waking up at 4 am to find Ulquiorra on his bed with me curled up against him. I swear I hate my life with a passion, especially when my days start out like this. So after moving cautiously over to my bed I tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky, so I stayed awake.

Then something odd happened, I found myself watching Ulquiorra as he slept. It's odd to see the usual strong emotionless Arrancar appear so... serene. It was spellbinding and I found myself watching him for like three hours, right until he woke up. Luckily I was able to advert my eyes before he found me watching him, I like to live thank you very much.

But my reaction to him surprised me, I never found anything interesting enough to watch for three hours in a row. Putting that thought out of my head the day continued on. My fraccion was still denying liking Tesla, Stark was still sleep deprived, and Gin was still an asshole. Though he was now a cross dressing asshole. He still wore that hideous outfit, and it is still funny.

Anyway the prankster had hit again, because neither of us can find Barragan's fraccions. Though none of us particularly cared, so we just went about our day like normal. Barragan doesn't even care where his fraccion are, he just sat around like usual today. Not having to put up with that freaky one was enough of a victory for me, I think his name was Charlotte or something. Just looking at him makes me want go blind, that or rip my eyes out.

After that I took Karite to get her IV today and Tousen lost another dreadlock. I swear before she's done with him he's going to be bald. There was also quite a gathering of Arrancars to watch, I ended up making them pay me to get in to watch. So I was sixty bucks richer, that was until Karite demanded some of it because they were watching her. That left me at fifty but oh well, it's more then what I had before.

Also it seems as if Gin has become frustrated with his new outfit that he cannot remove. He had actually tried to put a coat and pants on over his outfit, though ever time he did the cloths were mysteriously ripped to shreds. Whoever was doing it was too fast to see, and was Hell bent on making it apparent that they wanted Gin to suffer as well.

Karite had officially named the corner in my room that she pained her "Depression corner". Though why she put it in my room I have no clue, can't she go be depressed in her own room? Though being handcuffed to Ulquiorra at least I don't have to stay in my room with her, I swear she's psycho. Well more then an Arrancar should be or rather could be.

Next annoyance that decided to heap itself on my head was during training, Ulquiorra had suggested sparring with our fraccion more often. Something about challenging them past their normal limits to help build strength, personally I just think he wants to see me miserable.

And I got tripped today again! And I know now it wasn't Gin, he couldn't trip me while standing 5 feet in front of me trying to rip off his unfortunate outfit. So now the question is, who could it be? It hurt a lot, especially when Ulquiorra decided to land on me again.

You have no idea how heavy he is, I didn't know either until he landed on my back... twice now. He doesn't look like he weighs much but trust me he's no feather. After asking why he didn't just land on the ground like me he said that he didn't want to come in contact with the trashy ground. I then retorted that he calls me trash, he then just said I was the lesser of the two evils.

So I went to bed today with another hurt back, thankfully Arrancars heal fast.

**Day fifty one  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I'm really starting to think that sleeping on the floor is much more preferable to sleeping on my bed. Especially when I wake up to see Ulquiorra sleeping on my chest, with his arms wrapped around me. Even worse was my tail was wrapped around him as well, much to my dismay

So now I have officially established that Ulquiorra is too a snuggler, and that I'm really getting good at moving him in his sleep. Thankfully I moved him back to his bed without waking him up, though it was a close call. He started to stir halfway through the process but thankfully I manage to coax him back asleep. How I did this however is forever to remain secret, I don't even want to write about it.

So after moving him over I then found myself watching him... again. I swear it's a fucking compulsion, Ulquiorra must be using some kind of mind game on me. Why would he do that? I have no clue, though since when did mind games ever make any sense? Especially when they come from Ulquiorra, I think that's what he does in his free time, come up with ways to fuck with everyone's minds.

So after Ulquiorra woke up I swiftly pushed those thoughts from my mind and continued on the day like normal. Well as normal as being an Espada and being tethered to Ulquiorra could be.

Also someone is messing with me! After being tripped two days in a row I thought that it couldn't get worse, I was very very wrong. Evidently someone likes to kick my chair out from under me, ever time I tried to sit down today I fell on the floor. It happened like 5 times, and having Ulquiorra looking down at me and calling me trash wasn't helping in the least.

The others aren't helping either, they just keep laughing. It wouldn't be so bad if I knew who it was, I could just beat on them. But I don't so that threw a wrench into my plans for revenge, and no one even saw who it was. Whoever was doing it is fast, faster then me.

Karite got her IV, Tousen got a new scratch on his face, and I got eighty bucks today. A productive day if I do say so. I only had to give Karite ten dollars for her part in it, leaving me with seventy. Oh well it's better then yesterday, if it keeps up like this I'm going to be rich.

Next we found out who the prankster hit next, Tesla really has had a rough week. First my fraccion ruining his life and then having the prankster targeting him? He has had it bad, though I particularly didn't care.

His blond hair was now dyed a bright bubblegum pink, matching the pink clothing made possible via my fraccion. Tesla had actually blamed her first for his hair, but she denied it vigorously. Evidently she hadn't gotten near him in four days, making torturing him impossible. So we then deduced it was the prankster, because come on who else would do shit like this?

So after that we went training, our fraccion were improving believe it or not. Karite almost touched me today, though only because I let Ulquiorra distract me. He had called me trash, which pissed me off, which then gave my fraccion the opening she was looking for. Thankfully I was able to bend backwards and avoid the hit, though I did bend my back almost past its elasticity. I might have cat like reflexes but my spines not rubber, so it's still slightly sore.

So to bed I go, while hopefully trying to stay in my own bed. And hopefully Ulquiorra would stay in his own.

**Day fifty two  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I'm getting so tired of waking up to find myself in contact with Ulquiorra, even worse when I find myself watching him not long after. It's developed into a habit I can't stop, it must be because it's not everyday you see the usual stonic Ulquiorra so calm, he almost looked nice. It's like a rush, to see him like this and he doesn't have a clue.

Anyway after waking up Ulquiorra ordered that it was shower day, again. I hate showers so much! So after the water torture exercise we headed to breakfast. And lo and behold someone kicked my chair out from under me again. I hate my life, more then you could fucking imagine.

So after being laughed at for almost an hour I took my fraccion to get her IV. Evidently the prankster hit him, because Tousen kept complaining about a loud beeping noise that no one else could hear. Whoever the prankster is, that was a nifty prank, he's hearing things and we think he's crazy. A two for one in my book.

So my fraccion got her IV and Tousen got away today, I'm actually placing wagers on who's going to come out the victor. I made ninety dollars from admission fees and then got another sixty from bets. I knew Tousen would get away, he's kind of twitchy from the sound neither of us could hear. Though Karite was angry that I didn't bet on her, I gave her, her share and she shut up pretty quickly.

We also managed to find Barragan's fraccion, much to our misfortune. They were all locked in an impenetrable large glass box in the basement, thankfully, or not depending on how you look at it, it had air holes. They looked as though they've been fighting, and the one named Charlotte was beaten to a bloody pulp. I actually laughed at that one.

Tousen was then ordered by Aizen to give them food as well after giving my fraccion her IV, what was he? The caretaker of the Espada's and their fraccion? I'm surprised he was chosen, he hates us Espada more then anyone I've ever met.

So we left all of Barragan's fraccion there, lets be frank, neither of us cared. So the day continued on like usual, much to my displeasure. The norm for me lately is being humiliated and knocked around, hey at least I'm getting used to it. Before no time I won't even care that I'm being laughed at all day.

Next Stark fell asleep on the table, and he was shocked pretty badly. Though he just continued to sleep until we were sure he was going to die. So Harribel woke him up, thankfully she did it before he was killed. Aizen would be mad if his highest ranking Espada was killed by something so stupid. Though Stark now has a twitch, that happens every time someone even says anything related to sleep.

Next I was knocked down by the damn spoon, which made Ulquiorra fall as well. Though he fell in a dignified fashion, right on my back again. It turned out that pink freak was chasing him, and he was mad. What happened? I have no clue, and I particularly don't care.

So next we went to training and I got to fire a cero at my fraccion. Hey we were sparring so it was fair play, though she didn't think so when it nearly burned her arm off. She then went about cursing me out, which her sister had to translate for me. Evidently I almost burned her right arm, the one she draws and paints with. Though I didn't really care, and I told her this. She just cursed me some more, though I couldn't understand her.

So to bed I go in hopes that when I wake up I won't be anywhere near Ulquiorra, or him near me.

**Day fifty three  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was so wrong on so many levels!

It started out waking up to see Ulquiorra laying on me, worse he was awake and staring at me. So I growled at him, he merely shrugged and got up. After that I had to gather what dignity I had left, because after waking up like that I don't have that much.

So after that we proceeded to breakfast to encounter something my eyes are still screaming at me for looking at. It was that bitch Menoly, and the prankster got a hold of her. Her outfit was now a horribly ugly pukey brownish green, it was hideous. So what did I do? I laughed of course, it was just too funny.

So she glared at me, in which I just glared back. When she went past I tripped her, it was funny because she fell right into my fraccion. And then Menoly had the audacity to yell at my fraccion for it, lets just say female fights are much more brutal then any fights men get into.

It was odd however because Ulquiorra was glaring slightly at Menoly, though if you weren't paying attention you wouldn't have noticed. I then let it go, like I care about what Menoly did to tick off Ulquiorra.

It was funny because my fraccion beat the shit out of her, in which I congratulated her. I mean it isn't everyday you get to kick the shit out of someone that serves under Aizen and gets away with it. Menoly was the one who started it after all, and no one died. So no problem.

Next Karite got her IV, and Tousen got caught. I won the bet today as well, because I bet on my fraccion. She was still pissed after the Menoly incident, I knew that she was going to take that excess rage out on Tousen. And I was right, she managed to knee him in the groin. So my income today was a hundred dollars in admissions, and eighty on wager winnings. If it keeps up like this I'm going to be rich.

Next interesting thing to happen was during dinner, when Tousen got up abruptly and grabbed his head. Evidently the beeping noise in his ear had gotten too much for him to handle. After grabbing his head he shouted and then took off towards his room, pretty funny stuff if you ask me.

Even Aizen found it mildly homorus, he stared after his shinigami lackey with a slightly interesting look. Evidently that wasn't normal behavior for the black shinigami, personally I could care less. Though at least I wouldn't have to put up with him for now, and that was a good thing in my book.

But how could my day be ruined in a matter of minutes? I got tripped again, and Ulquiorra landed on me… again. I swear he does that just to bug me, because I know he could land in a crouch instead of on me. But does he? No, he has to torture me as much as possible.

So I'm off to bed, with hopes that tomorrow won't be as bad as today.

**Day fifty four  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was better then yesterday, though not by much.

I woke up to see Ulquiorra in his own bed, with me cuddled up to him. I quickly moved to my own bed again, going as far as the handcuffs would allow. I then found myself watching him again, I swear I really need to break this habit. It's weird to know I'm watching someone in their sleep, even more because I'm starting to enjoy it.

So after Ulquiorra woke up, without him knowing I watched him of course, we headed off. We got breakfast and stared in shock at what we found when we got there. Loly, the other half of the terrible duo, got pranked as well. Her hair was the most hideous thing I've ever seen. It was gelled and spiked, and looked like a rainbow on steroids. It looked horrible.

So I laughed at her, hard. She glared at me and I tripped her like I did to Menoly yesterday, and it was even more epic then the first time. She ran straight into Ulquiorra, who fired a cero at her. Evidently she had done something lately to tick him off, he glared at her like he did Menoly yesterday.

Luckily, well for her, she managed to dodge at the last second. And after she did that she fled, as fast as physically possible. Evidently Ulquiorra terrified her to death, I knew most of the lower Arrancars didn't like to cross Ulquiorra but I didn't know it was that bad.

Next I had to go fetch Karite to get her IV, evidently she has been spending all of her time in her 'Depression corner' in my room. I just sighed before dragging her to Tousen, who has been suffering from the sound neither of us could hear. So my fraccion caught him, though she went easy on him today. She only cut his shades in half, though it was a close call. Her dagger almost sliced his face in half.

After that I counted up my income for the day, ninety five dollars with admission and I lost forty on the wagers. I thought that Tousen would get away today, but oh well I still made a pretty penny.

So after my fraccion got her IV she went back to my room, to take up residence in her 'depression corner'. Which just happened to be in my room, I swear she's going to drive me insane. I told her she could stay until I got separated from Ulquiorra, after that she would have to stay away from my room.

She smiled, well I think she did. I really couldn't tell with the duct tape, and then wrote out that she would leave as soon as I'm free of my current burden. Who knew I could be nice? Evidently not Ulquiorra, he stared at me strangely... all fucking day. It got unnerving after the first hour. And it only got worse from there.

It was almost like he was trying to figure out some great mystery about me, well good luck to that. Because what you see is what you get when it pertains to me. Meaning he isn't going to figure out shit, and I told him that... repeatedly. Though it didn't discourage him.

So I went to bed with the feeling that Ulquiorra did figure something out about me, and it was unsettling. Especially because I couldn't figure out what he learned.

**Day fifty five  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today has to be the worst day of my life! Not only did I have a rude awakening, but we found out who the prankster it, and my fraccion can speak again! It fucking sucks.

It started out waking up to a blast of reiatsu from Aizen, signifying a meeting. Unfortunately I jumped awake, not knowing that Ulquiorra was on my chest. So when he woke up at the same time as me, and I jumped up and our lips met! I fucking kissed Ulquiorra Sciffer! That was NOT what I needed this morning! Thankfully though Ulquiorra didn't get to kill me because we had a meeting to attend to. Lucky me.

So after my morning I thought it couldn't get worse, unfortunately it does. It turns out that the prankster who screwed my life and everyone else's was Aizen. Yes that bastard had fooled with us all and we couldn't do anything about it because he was 'God', meaning I couldn't beat the shit out of him. He also pranked himself to make himself look less guilty, Menoly and Loly praised him on his brilliant plan.

So he then proceeded to rip the tape off my fraccion's mouth, which made her curse a long stream of curse words. Next he took the electrifying devise off Stark who immediately fell asleep where he stood. Harribel's cloths were returned to her and Szayel had his room turned back upright.

The fork's collars got fixed, meaning he was the spoon again. Oh fucking joy. Barragan was given a solution to wash the dye out of his hair and mustache as well as Loly. Barragan's fraccion were released, and Aaroneiro was given the solution to get rid of the mood dye. Menoly got her clothing fixed and Tesla had his hair back to it's normal color.

Gin was released from the horrifying outfit, which made him strip right in front of us. He could have at least waited until he got to his room, sheesh didn't need to see that! Next Tousen got a small devise removed from his ear, so he had been hearing something we couldn't. Kurosu refused the dye remover, saying she liked her hair it's emerald green color.

Zammari's eyeliner had dissolved by now, and Yammy had his muzzle removed. In which he headed straight for the kitchen, no doubts about his objectives. Harribel's three fraccion got a solvent that dissolved the super glue and they were freed, though they still fought like cats and dogs. Which wasn't all that surprising.

So that just left me and Ulquiorra, he unlocked us and I felt like running around with my arms in the air. Though I stopped myself, no need to embarrass myself anymore. My elation didn't last long however, it turns out that Aizen didn't have the antidote for my cat ears and tail. Evidently it didn't have a cure yet, I fucking almost attacked him for that. So now I'm stuck with them until Pinky decided to make an antidote. Yet again... oh fucking joy!

So after the meeting I headed outside, my fraccion following me. It turns out that the 2 weeks worth of words she withheld all came out at once, she talked nonstop all fucking day! I almost killed her, though I staved off the urge. I don't want to give Aizen an opportunity to reprimanded me.

And I got tripped multiple times today, though at least I didn't have Ulquiorra crashing on my spine. Though I did avoid him most of the day, no telling what he's going to do to me after I kissed him this morning. Though I fucking didn't mean too he probably thought I did.

So going to bed in my own room is amazing, no Ulquiorra, and no waking to find him on me! I can't wait, because after today I deserve a little rest.

**Day fifty six  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I awoke to a picture on my ceiling, and for the first time I smiled at it. You don't know how much you miss the trivial stuff until something more worse comes along. So seeing a picture of Aizen being decapitated by my fraccion as she rips tape off of his mouth made me feel good this morning.

After getting up and seeing my fraccion painting a picture of Aizen dying by hanging I smiled at her. I think I freaked her out more then I first figured, she panicked while running for cover. After telling her to get out from under my bed I ordered to repaint my room white. She went about that wearily, still watching me cautiously. I just shrugged and left her too it, going towards the kitchen.

After grabbing breakfast I made my way outside, glad to finally be free of my handcuffs. That was until I was stealth petted, making me stumble. So my stealth petter was back, but not even that could lower my mood so I went on whistling. I think I scared a few of the fraccion because they refused to come near me. Well better for me, I didn't have to put up with them today so it was a win for me.

Though my day started to get worse from that point on, and it started when Aizen called us to a meeting again. It turns out he wants us to grow closer as an organization so he ordered that starting tomorrow we were going to have a 'movie night' every night. Each of us got to choose a movie a night and then we all had to watch it, no matter what it was.

I sighed, I had a feeling that this wasn't going to end well. But since when did any of Aizen's ideas end well for me? Never. So I don't think I'm going to enjoy this 'movie night' at all.

As we left the meeting I got tripped again, right in front of everyone, and they all laughed at me. Aizen even laughed at me, asking why I was so clumsy today Even worse was that no one saw who done it, though I don't think they'd tell me even if they did see who it was.

Next during training my fraccion talked the entire time, evidently seeing me in my usual angry mood raised her own spirits. She wasn't afraid that I was an imposter anymore so she went about her day. Ulquiorra stared at me today, his expression unreadable. But when has his expression ever been anything but unreadable? Never, that's when. I still don't know where I sit with him after that kiss, though it wasn't intentional. If it wasn't intentional does it make it a kiss? Or would it just be a contact of lips? That's something to think on.

After training I got stealth petted again, and I jumped, again. I hate it! Why couldn't Szayel just find a way to get rid of these cat ears and tail?! I swear he's not even working on it! So now I'm back to my pissy mood and I think everyone likes me better this way, because no one wants me to be happy… ever!

So I woke up in a good mood and went to bed in a bad mood, this place is a total mood killer I tell you.

End


	9. Week Nine

**Authors note:** Here is another chapter of 'The life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez'. First I'd like to thank a few people! Lamekirby, kriorokkz44827, ima-glomp-you, PhreshxxxBear, Mistress -Freak, Ashido-Kano, tokionoiz, Dante123, and Dior Crystal! Thank you all for your reviews! Keep it up! The more review I get the more determined I am to type so I can get more! Here is chapter 9 enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor do I own the Espada, and I for sure don't own Ulquiorra. I only own Karite, Kurosu, and almost all of the ideas in this fic. There is some ideas I get from others, so I am not the complete owner.

**Day fifty seven  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

After the last two weeks of pranking, being messed with, and being humiliated I wasn't really looking forward to this week. Especially when Aizen had told us all about movie night, oh joy!

I woke up in my bed this morning with a large painting of the entire group of Espada on my ceiling. It wouldn't have been so bad if we all weren't painted as girls, well a boy in Harribel's case. I awoke to see my fraccion painting all of the other fraccion's in their opposite genders on the rest of my walls.

So I cussed her out, though I do have to say as a female I look pretty good. After ordering her to repaint my room I studied the picture closer, Ulquiorra didn't look too bad as a girl. That thought had startled me, and I left to go to breakfast. Because that isn't what I needed to be thinking, especially after Friday.

After all of the Espada gathered it was decided that the 1st Espada chooses a movie first and it goes down from there. So today was Starrk's and as I've learned Lilynette's turn. It turns out that Lilynette isn't his fraccion but himself, weird I know. Evidently they had split themselves in half because they were lonely, pretty sad if you ask me. Though I don't really care.

They chose a movie called 'My name is Nobody'. It's a western about a guy literally named Nobody, and his struggles and things. Though some of it was pretty humorous it wasn't something I'd watch just for the fun of it. Especially because I didn't understand half of it, why use those things called 'guns' when you can just cero their asses? Humans are just so stupid.

So after that we also discovered why Pink freak was chasing the damn spoon the other day. Evidently the spoon had been messing around in Pink freak's lab and mixed some test tubes up. He had dropped some unknown serum into his daily serums he takes. And it had taken about half a week but the effects had finally shown up, and it was epic.

Pink freak is now a woman, yes you heard right a female. So fucking hilarious! I laughed at him for like an hour, but I couldn't help it! It was just too funny! He's evidently trying his hardest to reverse the process but isn't having any luck, that's what I call fucking karma. He hadn't been looking for a cure for my current problem so he's having problems fixing his own.

In other news I got tripped, stealth petted and had my chair knocked out from under me more times then I can count. I have no clue who's doing it but if I find out who it is they are so dead. Don't I get enough problems with my daily life? Does the universe think that I take life for granted or something?

Also during training it turned out that Ulquiorra decided something else without my consent, though I'm not arguing. He said we get to spar each other to show our fraccion how to fight. Finally I get to fight him! Though he wiped the floor with me today, in front of our fraccion too. I swear I will defeat him! Just because he's the fourth Espada doesn't mean he's better then me, just give me a few days and I'll defeat him!

So to bed I go, thinking up ways to defeat Ulquiorra tomorrow. Because if it's the last thing I do I will beat him!

**Day fifty eight  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was just a completely annoying day, to the point in which I thought about sleeping the rest of the day away. It started with waking up to a painting of Ulquiorra defeating me in a spar on my ceiling. I didn't need a reminder of my defeat yesterday, especially considering Ulquiorra had defeated me without taking any damage.

So after getting up and cussing my fraccion out I headed to breakfast, only to find something slightly disturbing. Pink freak and the spoon were making out, evidently Pink freak forgave the spoon. It was bad enough on it's own but it didn't help that pink freak was wearing a school girl's uniform, and now that he was a female it only made it more creepier.

I fled the kitchen in hopes of erasing that image, it wasn't what I wanted to see this early in the morning. And ended up running into Harribel and Starrk making out in the living room, so after leaving them I continued on. But running into Gin and Aizen? While they were alone in the meeting room? Just too much for me to take. What were we? A bunch of horny teenagers?

So after that I went outside, far away from the rest of the Espada. I didn't need to see anything else that I really shouldn't. I ended up killing a few lower Hollows who thought they were tougher. Killing is one of my favorite past times, especially when the enemy makes it so enjoyable. Like yelling and panicking? Too fun to watch.

So after wandering the desert and killing a few weaker Hollows for a while I got bored and went back inside. Thankfully make out hour was over and we continued on like usual. Even with the tripping and stealth petting that is becoming a daily occurrence, though I almost found out who it was today.

If I had just turned a little quicker I would've seen them, but unfortunately my fraccion had walked up to me. Which distracted me for half a second, though that's all he needed to escape. So I didn't catch him, though I will.

Anyway it was Barragan's turn to choose what movie to watch, and it was old. The movie was in black and white, and was so grainy that we were barely able to see what was happening. Even worse is that we couldn't even tell what the movie was called, it was that old. So after that 2 hour waste of my life we headed to training our fraccion.

I lost again today, though I managed to scratch a part of Ulquiorra's uniform. It wasn't much but it felt like a large achievement, though he beat the crap out of me after that. Called me trash and then said something about ruining his favorite jacket, like I cared. So now my goal in sparing is to ruin his jacket, especially when it makes him fight a little more enthused then usual.

Next we had to spar with our fraccions. I have to say it feels good to beat up on my fraccion, especially after the painting on my ceiling this morning. She didn't enjoy it at all, especially when I buried her in the sand and left her there with only her head visible. Petty I know, but oh so enjoyable. Especially when I heard her screaming to unbury her, if she can't defeat a little sand then she's not fit to be an Arrancar.

Anyways after the day I had I can't wait to go to bed, though I really think I should've dug Karite out. Oh well, at least she won't get lost.

**Day fifty nine  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I knew Karite would be angry after what I did to her yesterday but I didn't think it would be this bad. She made today completely hell for me, and Ulquiorra wasn't helping. The worst part? I didn't see her till training, meaning I couldn't repay her for what she did until the evening. And even then she managed to avoid all my attempts at revenge, she sure can dodge.

First I woke up to see a picture on my ceiling of me and Ulquiorra kissing, one that looked eerily similar to the accidental kiss between me and Ulquiorra. I swear it made my eye twitch. And what was painted on the rest of my walls? I really don't want to go into it, lets just say I'm going to be traumatized for a while.

I then went to breakfast only to find something horrible in the kitchen, there were photos of me... everywhere. In every one of them I'm doing something embarrassing. And all of the Espada were there laughing at me, it took me nearly half an hour to get them all down. Who knew Karite would hold such a grudge?

After that every time I walked through a doorway a bucket of water was dumped on me. Even worse was that all the water was ice cold, chill to the bone kind of cold. So I had to put up with that and I had no idea how she even done it! How she done it is a mystery, and I found myself reluctant to go through doorways today.

And finally every time I said something today someone hit the back of my head, and every time it happened I could swear I heard Karite laughing. Even worse is that if I ignored it, the hit would just get harder. I almost got a concussion when I ignored it for 5 minutes!

Next we had to watch Harribel's movie, which she chose 'Titanic'. So not only have I been going through hell today but I had to watch a chick flick! It was horrible, and the movie had the worst ending! I was pissed when he died! They went through so much just to lose it all at the end! Not that I liked it or anything.

Surprising though the spoon enjoyed it, and so did Yammy and pink freak. Fucking sissies. I personally thought it was torture, and I'm afraid Aizen is going to use that method on me when he thinks I'm rebelling. Because he knows I hate it, because I do hate it.

Pink freak is now a male again, said something about it not being as fun as a male. That sentence I refused to comment on, refused to even ponder about. I really didn't need to know what he meant by it. Though he did tell me he was getting closer to fixing my own problem. One tail and two cat ears, just the thought of them being gone made me giddy.

After that we went to train our fraccion and I was able to repay my fraccion for some of today's misery. Though she seemed one step ahead of me and ended up avoiding most of my attacks. But she seemed more vicious today during our spar, to the point in which she was actually trying to kill me. Though I did manage to escape her dagger the entire time, she managed to catch me a couple of times with her physical attacks.

Next me and Ulquiorra sparred, and I swear Karite bribed him to mess with me today. He toyed with me instead of defeating me out right, he ended up putting me through more misery then usual. I ended up not only losing my jacket, it was a lost cause after Ulquiorra was through with it, but also quite a bit of blood. Not one part of me wasn't sore after our fight, and we were only sparing!

So I'm off to bed, glad that today is over. I already have revenge for Karite planed, and I can't wait to pull it off tomorrow.

**Day sixty  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I got my revenge today! And compared to the rest of the day it was the best thing that happened!

I awoke this morning to a picture of Ulquiorra doing a strip tease on my ceiling, I swear I almost jumped out of my skin at that picture. And it just made my need for revenge that much greater, why the Hell do I have to have such a crazy fraccion? Not even those annoying fraccion of Harribel's and Barragan's are that bad.

So I got up and went and searched for my fraccion, after finding her and ordering her to repaint my room she did so. But only after she asked if I had liked the show. I then fired a cero at her which made her run away to do as I ordered. I swear I hate her sometimes.

Next I went to breakfast to find that pink freak had finally made an antidote for my tail and ears, meaning I was finally free of those annoyances. Though Karite looked kind of sad that they were gone, I didn't particularly care. I was just fucking glad that I didn't have to put up with them any more. So now I'm free, though it feels weird without them.

Next we had to watch a movie chosen by Ulquiorra, though it was more of a documentary then an actual movie. It was about respect for those you work for, or for those higher then you in command. I know he chose it just because of me, he never did like it when I rebelled. He thought it was disrespectful to Aizen when I did, like I want to be respectful to that idiot.

Also I got tripped again today, in front of everyone... yet again. This time it hurt though, because I had been running when it happened. I fell flat on my face, I swear I broke my nose. So after a quick trip to the medical ward I started to get ready for my plan.

Around dinner I was able to pay my revenge against my fraccion and it was epic! Do you know all that money I made when I charged admission to watch my fraccion get her IV? Well I ended up bribing Tesla to mess with her, which he gleefully agreed. Evidently he really liked money, that and getting revenge on Karite for torturing him. So I paid him to act like he liked her, which included suddenly kissing her and writing poetry and such.

It freaked her out! To the point in which she ran every time someone even said the word Tesla. I'd say 'hey isn't that Tesla?' and she'd run off as fast as possible. It was even funnier when I snuck up on her and laid a hand on her shoulder, she ran away screaming something like 'Tesla's gonna rape me!' It was so funny, I actually almost suffocated with laughter.

So now she's too afraid to leave her room, she even skipped training today! Ulquiorra didn't seem to surprised at that, he just shrugged and we sparred again. Evidently even with just Kurosu it was enough for us to fight, though I lost once again. Which wasn't really surprising.

So I went to bed, still smug after my prank. Most people liked getting revenge by physically hurting them, with Karite it's just too much fun to mess with her mind.

**Day sixty one  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I think I might of broken my fraccion, especially after seeing her this morning. She was sitting in the corner of my room muttering to herself while rocking back and forth. When I sat up and asked what she was doing she bolted straight under my bed, she even did it flawlessly. No crouching, no scrambling, almost as if she had it planned out exactly how she'd move.

After that I headed to breakfast, and ate my cereal like usual. I listened to the spoon and pink freak talk about nonsense, Aaroneiro fighting with himself, and Barragan complain like usual. It actually got boring after a while, especially Aaroneiro fighting himself.

Not long after that my fraccion finally emerged from my room, only to run and flee when catching sight of Tesla. Tesla looked at me in confusion I just shrugged my shoulders, like I'd understand her. I felt kind of sorry for her though, she didn't get breakfast because she was too afraid to come out of my room.

Next we watched the spoon's movie choice, which was 'The ring'. To say that movie was creepy would be an understatement. It freaked me out completely, I'm glad we didn't have to watch it more then once. Why the spoon would choose something that creepy was weird itself, though I think he did it to mess with us. But when I think about it he's creepy as well, so that might explain why.

After that experience I'm glad he doesn't get to chose again, he'd probably chose something just as creepy again. No one but him liked that movie, no one. I can't stress how much all of us hated that movie, especially because we had to watch it by Aizen's orders.

We headed to training next, which I finally managed to drag my fraccion too. Though she watched everything around her as if Tesla would jump out and pounce her, she at least participated in the actual training. Though she was quite eager to spar she didn't try as hard to injure me or Ulquiorra. Evidently she thought karma was out to get her and was afraid it would get her again, I myself thought it was funny.

Although I wasn't laughing when it was time to spar with Ulquiorra, he beat me pretty badly today. Though I did manage to scratch his jacket pretty badly but it wasn't that much of an achievement when I'm the one who ended up on the ground bleeding to death. It was suppose to be a spar but he almost killed me.

After that I had to go to the medical ward to sew me back up, I looked like a quilt. I swear something must've really been wrong with Ulquiorra today, I think he actually tried to kill me. I wonder what crawled up his ass and died, I hadn't seen so much bloodthirstiness in him ever. Though he still seemed emotionless, even in his attempt to kill me.

So to bed I go, feeling like I was a menos grade's snack bar. It hurt, everywhere. Thankfully Arrancars heal fast and I should feel better by tomorrow.

**Day sixty two  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was interesting, in both good and bad ways.

It started out to see Karite sleeping on the floor beside my bed, to say I was surprised would be an understatement. Upon waking her up she replied that she didn't want Tesla to get her. So sleeping beside the person who had bribed him to do what freaked her out was a good idea? Though I didn't tell her that.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly, well as smoothly as possible. That was until Yammy and Aaroneiro got into an argument over who's turn it was to go wake Starrk. Evidently after his two weeks of no sleep it had gotten to the point that Starrk has been ceroing anyone who went to wake him up. And neither wanted to risk their lives waking him up today, I just shrugged. I know when not to mess with the prima Espada, and that is when he gets serious about sleeping.

Next I got tripped as I was leaving breakfast, which caused me to stumble into Ulquiorra as he headed to the kitchen. After falling and hitting him, I found myself on the ground with him on my back. How that happened I had no clue, by what physics say I should've be the one that landed on top.

So now I've discovered that physics have no control over Ulquiorra what-so-ever, lucky bastard. Having Ulquiorra landing on your back isn't a very fun experience, especially when it happens more then once. He's slender but he has muscle, meaning that he is heavier then he appears.

Next I had the chair shoved out from under me right as I sat down for dinner, which I'm becoming accustomed to. I didn't land completely ungracefully this time, though I still looked stupid. I managed to land in a partial crouch, which was more painful then you would've thought.

After that I got to choose the movie for today, and I chose a good one. On a brief visit to the human world for groceries I had saw a movie that caught my interest, it was called 'Saw'. So that is the movie we got to watch today, and it was as good as I thought it was going to be.

Gore, blood, killing, this movie had everything. Though it did make a few of the others sick, I myself enjoyed it immensely. Nothing could get better then watching a few humans get killed in the most interesting ways. Like the chainsaw collars? I would never had thought of that! It was awesome!

Though not many of the others enjoyed it, especially my fraccion. I thought she was going to bail to go puke, she was that pale. I had to laugh at her expression, she replied afterwards that she didn't like horror movies... at all. Pansy.

Next was training, which made it sparring time again. I swear I'm going to defeat him eventually, though I had to hurt him if I wanted to win. Which I failed to do again, though I did destroy most of his jacket today. Every time I damage his jacket he gets more vicious in his attacks, makes it much more fun for me.

So I headed to bed today just slightly sore, and after seeing that amazing gory movie I was in a good mood.

**Day sixty three  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was awful! To the point in which I actually thought about fleeing to the human world! Not only did I have to listen to my fraccion go through an emotional crisis but I also learn about Aizen's new orders, I had to listen to a lecture from the _evil_ overlord himself, had to do a bunch of things a video ordered me to, and I got kissed!

It started out waking to find my fraccion sitting on my bed watching me, that made me jump back off my bed as fast as possible. After asking what the fuck she wanted she explained that she needed someone to talk to. After listening to her complain for a good 10 minutes I learned that Karite was having an emotional crisis.

Evidently she actually likes Tesla and was confused about it. I then promptly kicked her out of my room and ordered her to complain to her sister. She pouted and left, but I didn't care. I'm not her friend so I'm not going to help her with a problem, even if I did help it along.

I then got up and proceeded to breakfast, in which I found all of the Espada already gathered. Evidently I was late, by a lot. After taking a seat and eating breakfast I figured out what was wrong, Aizen had called us all to breakfast and I had missed the memo.

After Aizen lectured me about being late he had explained that he's having a pool installed in the base. He then ordered me that as an Espada it was bad to have any weaknesses, he meant my hate of water. So he ordered me that starting tomorrow I was to swim for an hour everyday until I got over my adversion.

After explaining that I couldn't swim he assigned Ulquiorra to be my lifeguard. Oh fucking joy! Not only do I have to get in water, but if I drown then Ulquiorra will be the one to save me! It sucks!

After that lovely news we watched Zammari's movie choice, which just happened to be some yoga video. It wasn't too bad until Aizen had orders us to follow along with the video! I couldn't even do half of the poses, and I looked stupid trying. Though I got to see the other Espada do it as well so it was partially entertaining.

Training came next and our daily spar did as well, though it didn't go as planned. Karite had evidently taken what I did this morning personally and went out of her way to annoy me. Which for her included push me towards Ulquiorra, show pictures of me in embarrassing predicaments, and calling me Grimmy.

Training didn't get too bad until the spar with Ulquiorra, in which he challenged me. He said whoever won that spar would get to do something to the other, no matter what it was. I was determined to win! I wanted to do something to Ulquiorra to pay him back for the stalking a few weeks back so I accepted.

Bad move that was, I lost... badly. Evidently Ulquiorra was determined to win, more then usual. Because I was down within 2 minutes, I didn't even get to cut his jacket. So I had waited to see what Ulquiorra would do, whatever I thought it was going to be was wrong... very wrong.

He kissed me! Ulquiorra Sciffer, emotionless extraordinaire came up and actually kissed me. In front of both our fraccions as well, and I think Karite had a camera. They both squealed at the same time, large smiles on their faces. I had just stood their for a few minutes and blinked, I was too shocked to even think. Ulquiorra himself had just left, shaking his head at me.

So I went to bed still a little shell-shocked, but wouldn't you be if Ulquiorra the most emotionless out of all the Espada had just came up and kissed you?

End

**(Read me!!!) Another Authors note:** I have been requested by my sister to do this so I will. In the last chapter you find out that Ulquiorra is angry at Loly and Menoly, whoever figures out why I will give them a prize. You may have to re-read chapters 7 and 8 to figure it out. All you have to do is put it in your review with the words 'Why Ulqui-Kun is angry:' and put your answer. Thank you for reading, and if you didn't read this then it's your loss you won't have a chance for my amazing prize. If there are 2 winners then the answer that is most accurate will win first, don't worry 2nd and 3rd place winners win prizes as well.

End 2


	10. Week Ten

**Authors note:** It is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter for 'The life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez'. Before I get started however I'd like to thank the academy... just kidding! I mean thank you Dior Crystal, FrEaKyAoIFaN, Dante123, Mistress -Freak, PhreshxxxBear, Chasingyesterday, ima-glomp-you, RhymeLuvUlqui, Ashido Kano, Tobi, ImFreeFallin, and KyuubiYoukuKitsune! Wow! So many! I'm gathering my army! Just so you know I have a Angst/Romance story out about GrimmUlqui, and it's decent I guess. Not long either I can't seem to decide if I want to extend it, read and review for it! Ut doesn't have any! When you read it tell me what you think! I value your opinions!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor do I own the weird movies 'Seven', Supersize me', 'Daredevil' or a random film on Hitler, I don't own Frosted Flakes, Fruity Pebbles, or Red vs Blue quotes. I do own my fraccion, though I wish I had their corresponding Espada instead.

* * *

**Day sixty four  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Do you know those days that you just want to kill everyone who even looks at you? Yeah I had one of those days, it didn't help either that most of those I wanted to kill I was forbidden from, so it only made it worse.

It started with waking up to see a picture of Ulquiorra kissing me, not what I needed after yesterday. I was still confused on that entire matter, especially because I'm not panicking like I thought I would be. It's odd, for some reason I'm more accepting of this then I really should be.

So after getting up and cursing at my fraccion I then ordering her to repaint my room, after that I set out to breakfast. Now that I think back to it I kind of wished I stayed in bed. Aizen ordered me this morning to go to the pool and start my 'water hatred reversal training.' Aizen even came up with the lame fucking name!

So after 'playing' in the water for a whole hour with Ulquiorra there to supervise I was finally able to get out. Though it wasn't so fun when I ended up tripping and bashing my head against the poolside. What can I say? I fucking hate water, even walking on it. Ulquiorra had just watched me, I asked him what kind of lifeguard was he and he just replied that I wasn't drowning.

Fucking asshole! I had a large gash on my forehead and all he cared about is if I was drowning or not? I don't even understand what is with him! First he kisses me and then acts as if I'm not even worth of being in his presence? Well at least he didn't call me trash, I guess that's a small victory.

Though why would I want to get a victory that involved Ulquiorra I don't know. I really shouldn't care, I should be pissed that he even tried to kiss me. But I'm not mad, I'm more confused and unsettled more then anything. For some reason that startles me more then if I was just angry or pissed.

Anyway today was pink freak's turn to chose a movie, I had almost honestly forgot about movie night in light of all that had happened this morning. So we ended up watching some film that he retrieved from the human world. It was an autopsy on a variety of humans, and it made me physically ill. My fraccion had to actually leave to go vomit after watching only the first part of it.

So pink freak is on a lot of Espada's hit list, because him, the spoon, and surprisingly Aaronerio were the only ones who didn't find it completely disgusting. Gin looked paler then usual, and Aizen looked absolutely disgusted so I guess it wasn't too bad. Though when they took that girl apart and then opened up all of her organs I felt that it was a little to uncalled for, we didn't need to know what a kidney looked like on the inside.

So I got wet, I'm still not that upset that Ulquiorra kissed me, I had to listen to my fraccion's constant snickering, I got to see what a human looked on the inside and I had to put up with whoever keeps tripping me in the hallways all fucking day long. Just my fucking luck!

So I'm going to bed, hoping that tomorrow would be less horrible on me.

**Day sixty five  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was moderately more bearable then yesterday, though not by much.

I awoke to see a picture of pink freak being autopsied on my ceiling, down to the last gory detail. Who knew my fraccion had such a photographic memory? Or that she would even paint something that disgusting. She had ran out of the room to vomit from seeing the very same thing, I swear my fraccion is an idiot.

After hunting for my fraccion, who had been hiding under my bed... (I have no clue why.) I ordered her to repaint my room, again. As she went about that I went about my hour of swimming, better to get it over as fast as possible. I then dragged Ulquiorra to the pool,( because I swear the one time he's not there I will fucking drown) and went swimming.

After my hour of wet torture I finally was able to get out. Ulquiorra looked kind of disappointed, though I couldn't be entirely sure. Why he would be disappointed I'm not sure, I let it go. I really didn't care after all, it's getting to the point that I have to remind myself this.

Next we watched Aaroneiro's movie which was some creepy horror action movie called 'Seven'. It was weird, and slightly twisted just like the jar head himself. The gory parts weren't so bad, it was the mind fucking that got me. My fraccion refuses to come out from under my bed, she's been under there since that movie. She even refused to come to training, though it wasn't that surprising.

The most disgusting part of the movie though was when this fat one guy was forced to eat until his stomach exploded, which made me vaguely sick. I don't want to watch morbidly obese humans eat till they die, it's not something I call entertainment. Though Aaronerio liked it, he laughed at that part both of him did.

During training Ulquiorra's fraccion stared at me some more, and I could swear she was smirking. So after growling at her and making her run around Las Noches 20 times she wasn't smirking anymore. Though I could swear Ulquiorra was laughing at us, his face was expressionless but it just seemed like he was.

Next me and Ulquiorra sparred and I didn't even scratch him yet again, though I did manage to destroy his jacket completely. He then proceeded to beat the crap out of me, though how was that out of place? He beats the crap out of me every time we spar, so it wasn't really a surprise I ended up on the ground bleeding to death.

After that I managed to limp my way to the medical ward, though I think they're getting tired of fixing me up. They even had all of the medical instruments out and waiting for me by time I arrived. After the quick fixing up I went to dinner, because lets face it not even Ulquiorra would pass up a chance of beating me up before I can even eat.

During dinner however half of the Espada's refused to eat, especially meat. As soon as my fraccion caught sight of a steak she ran out of the room, her hand covering her mouth. Evidently with pink freak's movie choice and Aaroneiro's movie choice it practically destroyed all of our appetites.

So I'm going to bed hurt pretty badly, and starving. Though I still can't muster up the guts to go eat something, that movie just creeped me out that much.

**Day sixty six  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was as normal as one could get being an Espada, though there were a few things that I would've liked to avoid.

Like waking up to see a painting of Aaroneiro being force fed by my fraccion wasn't something I want to see when I get up. And how she fed him when he was in a jar? I have no fucking clue, but she managed to paint it. So I got up and ordered her to repaint my room, after that I went to breakfast.

Many of the Espada and their fraccion's still refused to eat, though I don't really blame them. I ate though, but it was nothing but tuna. I don't think I can handle anything that looked like red meat, just thinking about it makes me nauseous. Though Yammy and pink freak had no problem eating this morning, which wasn't surprising.

I then headed to swimming torture hour, in which I actually almost drowned. I had accidentally pushed myself into the deep end, I was about to jump out when I was dragged out by Ulquiorra. I didn't need help Dammit! I was about to jump out! But no, he had to crush what was left of my dignity. Though at least I didn't inhale any water, so I didn't actually drown.

After that humiliation we got to see Yammy's movie choice which was some stupid movie called 'Supersize me'. The entire movie was about a physically fit guy eating nothing but unhealthy food from this place called McDonalds. And every time someone asked him if he wanted to supersize it he had to.

That movie was disgusting, and disturbing. What's with those idiotic lower Espada with choosing movies that involved food in disgusting ways? There was a part that he puked right after eating, now that was gag worthy. Why would someone who was physically fit want to do something that could completely destroy his body? I know now to stay away from this fast food stuff, I like my muscular physique thank you very much!

Next was training in which I forced Karite past her limits, it was payback for my ceiling for the last few days. I didn't like seeing Aaroneiro or pink freak up there, I had to deal with them enough as it is. So she passed out 4 hours after intensive training, in which her sister just left her there. Kurosu sometimes doesn't act very sisterly, though neither does Karite now that I think about it.

After that was sparring and Ulquiorra didn't go to badly on me, though I'm still a little sore. It might be because I didn't touch his jacket today, I wanted to actually injure him today. Though I didn't cut him I did hit him with a gut punch, to Ulquiorra though it wasn't more then an annoyance. But hey I hit him!

Next was dinner and I discovered that Movie night wasn't over, evidently our evil overlord didn't tell us that he and his two lackeys got go choose movies as well. Oh fucking joy! Three more days of torture, I'm highly regretting Tousen's and Gin's choice. I swear they would choose movies just to fucking mess with me, they are not about pettiness.

So I'm off to bed, knowing that there was no way I was going to enjoy the next 3 days.

**Day sixty seven  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Kill me now! I knew that the next few days would be bad but I didn't think it would be this bad this early!

It started with waking up to see a picture of me pigging out on McDonalds, that wasn't even the worst part. My perfect masculine muscular form was distorted, and fat. I got pissed, that was not what I needed! How dare she defile my physique like that?!

After waking up and forcing her to repaint my room back to it's white color I kicked her forcibly out of my room. I told her if she painted anything like that again I'd freaking beat her to an inch of her life. I think she found it humorous that I reacted more viciously to the McDonalds instead of the Ulquiorra kissing me ones.

I didn't care, no one messes with my figure! I might be slightly vain in that regard but I work hard to maintain this figure, no way am I going to let it get destroyed so carelessly.

Next I had swimming hour and I tripped and bashed my head against the pool edge again, and did Ulquiorra do anything to help? No he fucking didn't! He only replied that I wasn't drowning so I didn't need his help, thank you very fucking much lifeguard! If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm.

After that we went to breakfast only to learn that we had no food, yes I wrote that correctly. NO FOOD! Evidently Barrangan's fraccion were so disgusted because of the last few movies that they got sick at the sight of food, meaning they all threw it out.

So Aizen being the genius he was sent me and Ulquiorra to the human world for food. Saying something about not trusting the other Arrancars with his credit card. I was just sent for grunt work to carry the bags and such, I hate Aizen to the core of my very being.

After we got back and ate we had to watch Gin's movie, I wished we just remained in the human world, it would've been infinitely better. He had chosen a gay porno, and due to Aizen's orders we all had to watch it. It was a horrible one at that, almost as if it was made in a garage.

Pink freak and the spoon had started making out behind the couch, while Yammy and Zammari looked vaguely sick. Aaroneiro just argued with himself about certain aspects of the movie I didn't want to go into. Harribel just read a magazine and Starrk slept through the entire thing. I watched it unfortunately, Aizen kept his eye on me the entire film almost as if he knew I'd bolt. It's not something I want to watch for entertainment sake. So after it ended I was so glad!

Next I happily went to training, glad to get away from that movie. And I trained my fraccion into exhaustion for the painting on my ceiling this morning. And then sparring with Ulquiorra, infinitely more fun then that damn movie. I can't even explain how creepy that was to watch, makes me shudder.

So today was more then I could handle in just one day, so I'm going to bed glad that it's over with.

**Day sixty eight  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was normal, though I did realize a few odd things today.

Like my fraccion drawing me in perfect manly perfection on my ceiling with an amazing background? I think she's trying to make up for yesterday, and I decided to forgive her for now. The picture was awesome after all, and portrayed me perfectly so she'll be left alone... for now.

Next I went swimming to learn that Ulquiorra actually wanted to swim today, so I just shrugged and he got in as well. So after frolicking in the water for an hour it was time to get out, though Ulquiorra actually looked slightly saddened after we got out. So the bat likes water huh?

After that we went to breakfast and ate like usual, though I discovered that Yammy is allergic to bananas. Yes the garbage disposal can't eat bananas, I found out because Harribel likes to put bananas in her cereal. See where I'm going with this? She accidentally dropped a piece in his Frosted Flakes.

He swelled up larger then a bloated whale and turned a sickly reddish purple. It was disgusting, and extremely humorous as well. He couldn't talk and was sent to the medical ward not long after he stopped breathing.

Next we watched Tousen's movie choice though why would he watch a movie he can't see? I thought he didn't need one, he can't see it anyway. The movie was called 'Daredevil', a movie about a blinded man who becomes a hero though technically he's breaking the law.

The movie was actually not so bad, that chick that played Electra was wickedly scary. And the moves that the Daredevil himself pulled off? Awesome! So Tousen isn't only a pathetic excuse for a bad guy, he actually has good taste in movies he can't see anyway.

After that we went to training, only to learn that my fraccion is afraid of heights. Evidently Kurosu and Karite were sparring and her sister had thrown her into the air, very high up. Karite had panicked and started to fall, if it wasn't for her sister she'd have hit the ground hard.

Next random bit of info? Ulquiorra doesn't like when people touch his skull cap, not at all. I accidentally scratched it when we were sparring and I honestly thought he was going to kill me. Thankfully though I'm getting good at dodging Ulquiorra's attacks and I flash stepped to the only place he won't go, Harribel's fraccion's rooms.

They were mad but knew better then to kick me out, I trump them on the food chain after all. So after waiting out Ulquiorra's anger spell I remerged to find him back to his emotionless self. Which for the first time in my life I was glad to see.

So I'm going to bed after learning quite a bit about those around me, things I particularly didn't want to learn in the first place.

**Day sixty nine  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was totally lame, and not at all surprising, which made it totally totally lame.

Woke up to see a picture of Elektra and the Daredevil fighting on my ceiling, I could tell my fraccion liked the movie yesterday. It was an epic picture, with amazing details. I left it up, this one wasn't so bad after all. Though I kind of wished she left the picture of me up there.

Next I headed swimming in which Ulquiorra joined me, and I almost drowned again. Though it was actually Ulquiorra's fault, and he was the one to drag my butt out of the deep end. He had jerked back when I had approached him, his fist catching me in the stomach and sending me into the deep end.

After being saved by the one who almost drowned me to begin with we went to breakfast, which went by as usual. Though there was still no word on Yammy, Aizen just told us not to worry about it. Something about it being taken care of, for a brief second I actually thought Aizen had killed the large Espada. The way he said it had been that creepy.

Next we watched his movie which just turned out to be a documentary about some guy that terrorized the human world a while back. His name was Adolf Hitler and Aizen was a big fan of his, and after watching the film I understood why. They were both clinically insane while trying to destroy an entire race. Though I don't think shinigami's count as a race, well he wanted to eliminate them anyway.

And what was with Hitler? Killing six million people just because they weren't blond with blue eyes? That was stupid, if you're going to kill make sure it's indiscriminant. That way everyone goes equally, no one is better then the other. That way you also get everyone, no one will be left behind.

Next came training and my fraccion refused to spar her sister, afraid of being thrown into the air again I guess. So we sparred paired up again and our fraccion didn't even get close, it was actually getting boring to dodge and attack. They still had much to learn, though they were improving.

Next I had my spar with Ulquiorra, in which I completely avoided his skull plate, don't want to make that mistake more then once. I still got defeated but hey, I'm getting closer to scratching him. If that was a real 'I'm going to kill you' fight I know I'd hurt him, I just don't want to unleash that much power during a spar.

After that went to dinner to see Yammy pigging out, it seems he's better. Though he did eat half of the food, which made us all mad. They actually told Yammy that he had to go shopping next time, but he just shrugged. Said it was worth the food, everything to him was worthless compared to food.

So today was lame, to the point of boredom. And learning that Aizen aspires to a crazy dead dictator who killed the largest amount in history by a single dictator... not a very surprising discovery.

**Day seventy  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was horrible!

It started out with waking up to see a picture of me drowning with Ulquiorra valiantly saving me. How he Hell did my fraccion find out about that!? Though it wasn't nearly that epic, he was the one to knock me into the deep end anyway.

The worst part about my room? The walls were painted in correspondence to that video we watched about Adolf Hitler yesterday. Only Aizen replaced Hitler himself and we were all of his soldiers saluting to him. No way in Hell would I salute to that crazy idiot!

After ordering my fraccion to repaint it with threats of killing her she went about doing that. I don't like anyone thinking I almost drowned, it makes me feel like a sissy for losing to something as weak as water. Though I won't tell Harribel that, she'd actually kill you with water.

After that I went swimming, and actually drowned. As in flailing around uselessly, lungs filling with water, blacking out kind of drowning. Thankfully my horrible lifeguard was there to pull me out, though I learned he had to perform CPR on me. I swear he's been waiting for that all week.

Next went to breakfast to learn that Yammy had eaten all of my favorite cereal, which was 'Fruity Pepples'. Yes I like them, want to fight about it? But yes that bastard ate it all! I beat the crap out of him for that, because no one can pass up a game of beat up the fat guy.

After that we learned that there was no more movie night much to my relief, though it was short lived when Aizen told us we were going on a field trip some time next week. Probably next Saturday he said, though I hope we don't go at all. I know it will end badly, especially because all of the Espada were going.

Training came next and my fraccion decided to fight dirty during our spar, she sliced my jacket to pieces! That was my favorite jacket, I paid her back for that. It was my favorite because it was the first one I got after becoming an Arrancar. It held a lot of old memories. So she had to be carried in by her sister, who just glared at me. I glared back, Karite should've thought of that before destroying my jacket.

Next I sparred with Ulquiorra who seemed slightly distracted, though he still beat me. I think giving me CPR gave him brain damage, he didn't focus during the spar at all. And yet he still wiped the floor with me and I headed back in slightly sore. Though it wasn't that surpr....

...

...

...

...

... Fuck, I think I've been kidnapped.

End

* * *

**Another authors note:** In my last chapter I had a competition to see who can guess why Ulquiorra is angry at Loly and Menoly, and though nobody actually won, nobody lost either. All of your reasons were humorous and I will write down the ones I enjoyed immensely:

**From Mistress -freak:** "Why Ulqui-Kun is angry:" is because they made him scold Grimmy making him upset. They also praised Aizen after his pranks that interrupted his sneak-pets. Then when he finally liked it he had to be taken away!(tragic!) Bad, no?

**From RhymeLuvUlqui:** Why Ulqui-Kun is angry: I think Ulquiorra is angry cus'' Loly and Melony ( Menoly??Melony?) insulted Grimmjow( Ulquiorra likes Grimmjow!!3)Oh and they also 'Praised' Aizen for playing those tricks.( He probably didn't like that)Haha!!

**From Ashido Kano:** Why Ulqui-Kun is angry: (1)He's mad at Loly for bitchin at Grimmjow for his ways(2) He's mad at Melony because she wanted to fight Grimkitty even though she took out her anger on Karite (3) Also in showing thier obsession with Aizen they practically stated that they like to see Ulquiorra and Grimmjow miserable.

Though neither of them were correct they were as funny as Hell! The real reason though is because Grimmjow in chapter 7 had told Karite that you usually pick on those you like because she kept picking on Tesla. So in chapter 8 when Grimmjow trips both Loly and Menoly, it gave Ulquiorra the suspicion that Grimmjow was picking on them because he liked them. (Though Grimmjow was really just being mean!) So that pissed Ulqui-kun off, and he blamed Loly and Menoly for it! Thus the glaring and attempted decapitation by cero.

**Chapter spotting challenge!!!!** I have decided to set up a challenge for each chapter, and reward cookies and mentions in my chapters for the winners. This challenge is for those of you who have watched Red vs Blue, if you haven't fear not you will have another challenge assigned. Just be careful to label them currently, if you want you can do both!

(1) RvB: Find the hidden quote! It might not be completely correct but I had to tailor it to the story, so find it! Here's a clue, Grif says this in response to a message from Lopez in Season 4! Good luck!

(2) Why was Ulquiorra disappointed that Grimmjow got through swimming hour unscathed on Monday?

Let the challenge begin! You don't have to participate but it makes me want to work on chapters more to hear your responses! I find them funny and entertaining. So more challenges being completed means faster updates!

End 2


	11. Week Eleven

**Authors note:** Here is chapter 11! And I know a few of you were confused from last week but don't fear! It'll all make sense in a minute. First I'd like to thank Blader123, Dante123, Comatose Overdose, Asiiann, Dior Crystal, PhreshxxxBear, tokionoiz, LoVeLeSs77, Mistress -Freak, lamekirby, KyubiYoukoKitsune, Sakura Otome, Klalista, ima-glomp-you, michico1243, and Tobi! Whew! So many! Anyway here is chaper 11! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, Fruity Pebbles or the Karakura Town Zoo... if it exists. I do own Karite and Kurosu, I guess it'll have to do.

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**Day seventy one  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I have found myself kidnapped, and it really shouldn't surprise me. If something bad in my life could happen, there is a likely chance that it will.

I had been in the middle of writing in my journal yesterday when someone knocked me out from behind, and when I woke up I was here. Where ever here is. I'm being held in a cell, with a small room connected as the bathroom. When I got up I noticed I had breakfast sat out for me, a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

That small bit of information means I got kidnapped by someone who knows me, that only narrows it down everyone I know. This fucking sucks, who in the hell would even think about doing this?

Another thing that bothered me was there was five monitors setup outside my room, showing everyday life of the Espadas with volume. I'm guessing that the cameras were hidden, because none of the others acknowledged them. The first was in my room, the second was in the kitchen, the third in the meeting room, the fourth was in the living room, and the last was in the swimming area.

Meaning there is a likely chance I'm still in Las Noches, and whoever had caught me is hiding my Reiatsu from everyone else. Which would make them cocky, at least that narrowed it down a little bit though not by much. Most of the residents in Las Nochas is cocky, how else did they all wind up here?

It also seemed as though a few of the others have figured out I'm missing, like my fraccion who spent almost the entire time looking for me in my room and the swimming area. Ulquiorra seemed kind of confused that I didn't come to swimming nor training, and Kurosu was told by her sister so she had joined in the hunt.

It seemed like none of the others really figured it out, that or they didn't care. They spent all day going about as usual, which was boring to watch. How many times can I watch pink freak and the spoon make out in the living room before I go insane? I'm guessing not many, it's already making me want to gouge my eyes out.

Trying to escape from this cell is also a waste of time and energy, not only is it hiding my reiatsu but it is also indestructible. I tried punching it, slashing it with my sword, kicking it, ceroing it, practically everything! It's almost as if it's made specifically to hold me, which wouldn't be surprising in my case.

Even weirder? I went to the bathroom this evening and came back out and there was a plate of three tuna sandwiches with a cup of milk sitting in my cell. So at least whoever captured me feeds me food I can stomach. I don't think I'd be able to stand it if they fed me some kind of food like oatmeal or anything, I don't like eating much but meat so there isn't much I like.

The question now is who was it? I watched the monitors almost all day and didn't catch anyone acting suspicious. Meaning that none of the Espada, the shinigami's nor any of the fraccion did it, that or they are very good at hiding it. Though being evil masterminds it might not be that hard to do it, I know I'm able to hide things quite well.

So I'm going to sleep on this small cot that is barely big enough to hold me and is extremely uncomfortable. I know that if I find out who did this they are so going to be dead.

**Day seventy two  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Another day in my cell, and I'm as bored as hell! (Hey that rhymed) There is nothing to do in this predicament I've managed to get myself into, and the least my kidnapper could do was get me something to do! I spent all day twiddling my thumbs, wanting something to attack me! At least I'd have something to do.

It is now official that I'm missing, and my fraccion is starting to panic. The pansy! I've trained her better then that! She shouldn't be falling apart just because I'm missing for two days, sheesh! It's like she found my rotting corpse or something, me missing isn't the end of the world.

Ulquiorra seemed to be slightly confused as well, he's actually been searching for me. Aizen still hasn't done anything other then question upon my absence, which still isn't all surprising. He didn't care for me anyway, if I died he wouldn't even feel anything. Unless I interferred with his plans before I went, then he'd be pissed.

Some of the others had also joined in the search, such as Zammari and Harribel. Who knew I'd be so popular, though it wasn't much it was better then nothing. I hoped they found me soon, if not I just might kill myself out of boredom. Though Starrk had started to search for a bit he gave up after 10 minutes and fell asleep in the hallway, not surprising in the least.

And supper for the day? Salmon cooked to perfection drizzled in the most amazing sauce... no I'm just kidding. I wish though, It was a plate of dry tuna. I'm getting a little tired of tuna though, so I hope my captor gives me something else tomorrow.

Also watching the Espada's everyday? Not too entertaining, and I swear if pink freak and that damn spoon makes out any longer then they are both going to fucking suffocate. This channel should have censors for crying out loud, I don't want to see that kind of crap.

Also it seems that Gin spooks around the base more then I had originally thought, I caught him on the monitor no less then 50 times today in the living room and kitchen. The best part? None of the other Espade even had a clue that he was there, he actually stole a chip out of the bag of chips Yammy was eating and the fat guy didn't even notice. Now that was just spooky, especially because Aaronerio was standing not too far away and neither of his heads noticed it happening.

In other news Zammari has been watching that yoga film in the livingroom when no one was around, and I found myself trying the poses to de-stress. I don't want to admit it but it's actually quite relaxing, it at least gets my mind of my current predicament. That and it made my body feel all loose and tingly, it's new and I find I enjoy the relaxation.

It's strange and I wonder if it was real but I could've sworn I saw Ulquiorra look slightly concerned when my fraccion replied that I haven't been found. I think I was just imagining it but I can't be entirely sure, it was slightly dark in the living room when it had happened after all.

Also where in the hell did my fraccion get a plushie of me? She fell asleep in my room, on my bed, cuddling a plushie of me. Where the hell she got it I had no clue. If she's that worried then I really need to train her out of it. That and I need to take that plushie from her, it's just weird that she has one to begin with.

So I headed to bed on that uncomfortable cot, trying to figure out where my fraccion managed to get a stuffed animal of me.

**Day seventy three  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was odd, especially when I woke up to find a ball of yarn on my stomach. Evidently my captors have found out I'm bored, I just kind of wished that they would've thought to get something I can actually used to keep myself entertained. I do not play with balls of yarn, it's beneath me.

Next I learned that the 5 monitors I've been watching had somehow turned to twenty monitors, with cameras in all of the Espada's rooms and every other room you could think of other then bathrooms. Evidently whoever had captured me hadn't finished it until last night, while I was asleep.

I didn't need to see what happened in the privacy of other's rooms, I'm still having visions of what I saw in pink freaks room thank you very much! And seeing Harribel and her fraccions in the morning? Not a pretty sight I tell you, especially that girl Mila-Rose. Her hair was like a ball of fluff, it looked like she just got out of a dryer.

Though at least I got to spy back on Ulquiorra for those two weeks of spying on me back a while ago. Though to say he leads a boring life is an understatement, I got bored just watching him. All he does is errands for Aizen, reading, and sleeping, nothing interesting at all.

I then had the same thing for breakfast, Fruity Pepples. I can never get too tired of that stuff, and I'm the only one in Las Nochas that eats it so I don't have to worry about sharing. While everyone else fights over their breakfast I get mine, without anyone trying to take it from me.

Also, my fraccion is on the verge of a mental breakdown, she's been running all over Las Noches looking for me. The part that pissed me off about that? She put up a bunch of posters that said lost cat, with a picture of me. I'm not a housecat for crying out loud, I do not need posters around the base saying I am. She even enlisted the help of her sister who was running around putting up those blasted posters.

It also seems that there are more people searching for me, like Barragan much to my surprise. Him and his fraccion looked around for me today, though not for long. It was better then nothing I guess, though it didn't help either that Barragan's fraccion fought amongst themselves the entire time. And it was funny that I could watch it, at least it alienated my boredom for a bit.

Harribel and her fraccion along with Zammari looked for me a little today as well, though not as long as they did yesterday. What am I not worth their time? Wait let me answer that very redundant question I asked myself, to them no I'm really not. Though if I was in their place I wouldn't look for them. Starrk did what he did yesterday, searched for a few minutes then took a nap. Now you know why you never rely on the Prima Espada, he doesn't come when you really need him too.

Surprisingly Ulquiorra started to search for me as well, though it shouldn't be. I know that Ulquiorra has some kind of feelings for me, why else would he kiss me? Though it's odd, why would he like me? Still very confusing, I don't like thinking about it if I don't have too.

Next I watched the video on the screen that Zammari was, the yoga one. I followed along with the poses again and it was as relaxing as it was yesterday. I had been so frustrated last week when I first did it and I really didn't try, but now that I have I'm glad I did. Though I'd never admit it. I don't even want to imagine what the other Espada would say, for Zammari it wasn't surprising so they didn't rag on him. But me? I'm fair game.

Next I had a dinner of fried chicken with mashed potatoes, evidently my captor heard me complaining about my supper. Though it wasn't cuisine it was better then nothing, though the chicken could've been a little less burnt. Well at least it was something different, I don't enjoy eating the same dinner every day.

There is one good thing about this whole captivity thing, I at least don't have to go swimming. Though compared to everything else it's not really that much of a victory.

So I'm off to bed, hoping that I'd wake up in my own bed. But what's the chances of that actually happening?

**Day seventy four  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Well I did awake in my own bed, though it's not a complete victory. My bed is now in my cell, though at least it's better then that cot. I only have one question, how in the hell had my captor manage to move me from the cot to my bed without waking me up?

I almost don't want to know, I don't like thinking I'm that deep a sleeper. Though how else would my fraccion be able to paint my room night after night without waking me? So yes, I have to come to grips that I'm an extremely deep sleeper. It's hard to do but I think I can manage.

Do you want to know what else!? My... I mean the ball of yarn disappeared! Though it's not like I played with it or anything, I'm just noting that it's gone. It was the only thing to keep me preoccupied other then the twenty or so monitors showing me things I'd rather not watch.

Like my fraccion having a mental breakdown and crying while holding the plushie that looked like me? I didn't need to see that, especially because she did it in my room off in a corner. She noticed my bed gone, and probably thought I left on purpose. Well I didn't, I'm stuck somewhere I don't have a clue as to and my fraccion is crying like I'm dead. Not helpful in the least.

Now because everyone thinks I've left on my own free will, the hunt is off, meaning there is absolutely no chance of being saved. Thank you captors! I fucking swear they did that on purpose. Though being able to sleep in a bed for once was at least a small bonus, even if it meant not being rescued.

Ulquiorra and surprisingly Barragan though still seem to think I've been taken, though Barragan doesn't seem to care any more. Evidently that one day of caring he shown was all he could expend, thank you very much you old fart! If you ever go missing I'm not going to help you! Though I wouldn't have to begin with, but that's beside the point.

Onto more important matters, like dinner. I got dry tuna again, I swear the chicken yesterday was just a decoy. Put there to make me think I'd finally get more food I'd enjoy, salmon would be nice but I know that's not going to happen. Whoever caught me I swear is only doing this to mess with me, I just know it.

I did the yoga workout thing when Zammari turned it on and thankfully all of the fustration I had been feeling left, leaving me in a relaxed state. Though it didn't last long, because not long after the video went off Aizen called a meeting. Ignoring my absence as if I never existed to begin with Aizen started the meeting without me, and it was to vote on where they were going for the field trip.

It pissed me off that I had been exempted, though there was a chance I wouldn't get free to go. That was a somewhat bittersweet thought, for one I wouldn't have to suffer that trip. But on the other hand it means I'd probably still be stuck in this hell hole longer... Fuck.

They decided to go to the fucking zoo, what were we? Children!? Aizen even ordered pink freak to make us all gigai's for the trip! Even for me though I'm still MIA, in case I showed up before then. The way he said it piqued my interest, it got me thinking. And though this is my journal I don't feel that this is safe enough to write my suspicions. It's been read more then once after all, and just because I'm in a jail cell doesn't mean it won't be read again.

So now I'm going paranoid, and with that I'm off to bed. Hoping to wake in my room, my bed was great but I would've liked my room.

**Day seventy five  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I had finally thought that I was done with waking up to find Ulquiorra on top of me, but apparently I was wrong. That and I now have a cellmate, oh fucking joy.

Ulquiorra woke up quite confused, until I explained to him what happened. I told him about waking up in this place after being knocked out, and then explained to him that I've been stuck here the entire week. After that he noticed the monitors, I only replied that they've been there since I woke up. They were after all, I didn't ask for them.

So after I explained everything and he became accustom to our current predicament the day progressed on. I swear with Ulquiorra here it's still like he's not, he's so quite that he might as well not been here at all. Also Ulquiorra isn't affected by boredom, while I slowly went crazy he sat about like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Ulquiorra's disappearance has spread through Las Noches, almost every Espada and Arrancar took up the search for him. Thank you bastards! I'm gone for five days and you can't get up to look for me, but Ulquiorra is gone for a day and it's the end of the fucking world? Screw you all, never expect my help.

The Espadas have created search parties under Aizen's orders to find the emotionless Arrancar sitting to my right. I swear it's not fair, they can't even muster up one complete search party for me and here they have at least seven? And all for Ulquiorra? Though he does actually do what he's told, that and almost all of the other Espadas respect him. Me? I'm just a thorn in many of their asses, and I like it like that. Just never knew it would ever come back to bite me in the ass.

My fraccion though is still looking for me at least, evidently Ulquiorra's disappearance resparked her idea that I've been kidnapped. Thank you Karite! Now all she has to do is find me, or us rather. I keep forgetting he's here, he's that quite. So now my fraccion and her sister is searching everywhere, even under beds. Though why'd I be there is a mystery. My fraccion is such an idiot.

We had a dinner of fried catfish, with baked potatoes. I seriously think the only reason I got this much was because Ulquiorra was here, I'd probably get dry tuna again if he wasn't here. Ulquiorra didn't eat much, though I really didn't expect him too. Arrancars don't have to eat, we just like to. The feeling of being full is very satisfying for us, because as Hollows we never had that feeling. We were always hollow, hence the name.

Next Zammari watched his yoga video, but I refused to do it today. I didn't need Ulquiorra see me looking like a complete idiot, though both of us had to do it the first day I seen the video during movie night. But I didn't want to give him more of a reason to see me as an idiot, so I refrained from participating today. And I need it more today then usual, so I've been feeling stressed out all day today.

Do you know how boring it is to be trapped with Ulquiorra? He doesn't talk much, he mostly ignores me as if I don't exist. It's so boring! I also don't like the fact that I don't know his exact feelings for me, I really don't like being in the dark. Especially if I'm involved somehow.

And fighting over who gets the bed? Not something I'd want to repeat, it's my fucking bed! He said that he should get it because he's higher ranked then me! I then promptly and rudly told him it was my bed, meaning I should get it! But in the end we finally agreed to share the bed, as long as he stayed on his side and I stayed on mine then there shouldn't be any issues.

So I'm going to bed on the right side of my bed tonight, hoping that Ulquiorra stayed on his own. It's tiring to wake up to see Ulquiorra on me in the mornings.

**Day seventy six  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was ranked high on my list of the worst days in history!

First it started with waking up to find Ulquiorra wrapped around me, just as I was wrapped around him. Creepy right, so I try to move. Unfortunately Ulquiorra was holding onto me like a large teddy bear, so I couldn't escape him. I had to wait for him to awaken and hope he didn't kill me. Thankfully he didn't kill me, because he would certainly succeed if he tried.

Next we had breakfast, which wouldn't have been so odd if it wasn't for the monitors. Because on one of them showed my fraccion sitting in my room crying, all the while cuddling that damn stuffed animal that looks like me. So Ulquiorra not only go to see my fraccion act like a five year old but he got to see her have a plushie of me. Humiliating to the max.

After that we found out who kidnapped us, surprise surprise it was Aizen. I have to ask myself why I didn't expect it, he's the only one who'd do something like this. Because we all know I can't get revenge, even thinking about getting him back could land me in serious pain. So I have to suck it up and get over it, though I doubt I will.

And do you want to know how he explained the kidnapping to me, Ulquiorra and the rest of the Espada? He told us that it was a drill to see how the other Espada would react if one of their own comrades suddenly went missing without a clue. I then asked why Ulquiorra got kidnapped, evidently when I went missing their reaction wasn't what he needed to see. So he kidnapped someone who'd make a bigger impact, and that had to be Ulquiorra.

The worst part? The other Espada actually believed his excuse! I know for sure there was a different reason, Aizen doesn't do anything without an ulterior motive. So now all I have to figure out is what that motive is, though it's going to be tough. Aizen is a master of deception, look a what his Zanpakuto can do. Major deception at play.

Also when I went to my room, I found my fraccion sitting on my floor with the plushie of me. As soon as she saw me she tackled me, hard. Do you know how it feels to be hit by someone going full speed while they were flash stepping? You probably don't, and you really wouldn't want to know. So after prying her off of me and telling her I was okay, I explained what happened to me. Strangely she agrees to my 'Aizen's reason is bullshit' theory, I trained her well.

So after sending her off I finally got to choose dinner that I would want to eat, and it was magnificent. Though I did figure out why I got such crappy food one day and decent food the next while I was imprisoned. Evidently Gin and Tousen were in charge of feeding me when I was imprisoned. Gin only fed me dry tuna, while Tousen fed me moderately edible food. That was a surprise, well before Tousen said it was petty thing to feed me things that weren't edible.

So I got a dinner of mashed potatoes and chicken casserole, I don't know where we'd be if we didn't have Zammari cooking. Yes he actually cooks for us, I retrieved a cook book for him on one of my trips to the real world. He really enjoys it, well that's what he says. Said something about being relaxing and useful. Though I didn't get to finish my dinner, Aizen ordered me to go fucking swimming. Said something about not being practicing lately, he's the one that captured me! Meaning it's his fault I hadn't been practicing!

So I went swimming, with a half full stomach. Do you know what happens when you go swimming right after eating? Yeah you get cramps, and they hurt. I almost drowned in the shallow part of the pool, oh the humiliation. Especially because Ulquiorra was there, though thankfully he knew I wasn't in real danger. I had grabbed the edge of the pool so there wasn't really no chance of drowning. Though it was still a bruise to my pride.

So I'm going to bed now which is now back in my room, knowing that tomorrow isn't going to end well. We're going to the Zoo after all, just my fucking luck.

**Day seventy seven  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today wasn't so bad, it was way better then yesterday.

I woke up to see Karite on my bed, my ceiling painted in a very melancholy fashion. After shoving her off the bed I asked what her problem was. Evidently the plushie that she had that looked like me is gone, as in someone stole it. I growled at her for that, so not only does someone I don't know have it but I can't destroy it!

After ordering her to quit sulking and repaint my room I left, the depression paint job was bringing my mood down. So after that I headed to breakfast to find everyone gathered, all of them looked as if they were waiting for me. I actually had forgot about the field trip. So after getting ready we all headed through a portal, taking our gigais with us.

And not surprising mine fucking itched again! I swear pink freak can't make a decent gigai to save his life, I don't know why Aizen hasn't gotten a better person for that. So we all went to the fucking Zoo, with itchy gigais. Though the feeling like I'm walking with my knees bent feels like he did that on purpose.

So at the Zoo many things happened, and is the reason we are never allowed back at Karakura Town Zoo. It started when we arrived, Aizen didn't want to pay full price for all of us. It also didn't help that he looked like he was taking a bunch of adults to the Zoo as if we were children. So after one use of Aizen's Zanpakuto we made our way in.

Aaroneiro (Who looked like a normal human) and Barragan split rather quickly, making their ways far away from us. Each went in a different direction, I think Barragan went to that train thing to ride him around. Aaroneiro I don't even want to know what he did. Yammy went straight for the food court, which was situated by the gorillas exhibit. I think it's a fitting match up, they both look vaguely the same. And Zammari went and stayed in the butterfly house the entire time, and meditated.

But when pink freak and spoon got involved then it started to get bad. Pink freak wanted to experiment on a few of the animals, and that damn spoon was insulted that there wasn't any prey mantises at the Zoo. So quite a few of the animals almost became lab rats and spoon went on a rampage about that damn bug. Thus letting a lot of animals out of their cages.

Next Harribel went swimming with the sharks, much to the horror of most of the humans gathered. While Starrk got into the sloth exhibit to hang on a branch to sleep. Fitting if you ask me. Lilynette went running in the wolves exhibit, howling at passerbyers. Gin let all of the snakes out, saying it was unfair to keep them all caged up. While Tousen let a few of the antelope and other such plant eaters out, saying it was unjustified to leave them in such a state.

Ulquiorra refused to come out of the bat exhibit, said something about finding his own kind. While I myself went to the panther exhibit, at least they liked me better then the others. It was very nice to be surrounded by my own kind, especially because they treated me like one of their own. So yeah it was great, for a while.

After the chaos and panic became to much Aizen used his sword to get everything back under order, said something about not being able to take us anywhere. We didn't want to go in the first place, he ordered us. So after that we all left, while being yelled at by the owner saying we weren't ever allowed in the Karakura Town Zoo ever again. Which wasn't all that surprising, you should've seen all the destruction we caused.

So we're back in Las Noches, and I'm ready to go to bed. After such a long day I'm ready for some sleep.

End

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**Another authors note:** The winners to the contest are out! No one actually got the first one right but that wasn't too surprising! There were many winners for the second one however and to them they get mentioned and a cookie that I wish I could really give them! The winners for the second are listed below! Take a bow!

**Mistress -Freak  
****Asiiann  
****Comatose Overdose  
****KyubiYoukoKitsune  
****Tobi  
****Klalista  
Dante123**

And my favorite out of all of them is the grand prize winners! There were two that I liked a lot so they both win. Congratulations Dante123 and Tobi! For their answers made me laugh so hard I spit up the Pepsi I had been drinking!

**Tobi:** (2)I think that Ulquiorra was disappointed that Grimmjow got through swimming unscathed because he wanted to "save" Grimmjow from drowning and perform CPR (we all know he wanted an excuse to kiss Grimmjow). Grimmjow said he swears Ulquiorra has been waiting for that all week. (He probably was.)

**Dante123:** I think Ulquiorra is disappointed because he likes to see Grimmjow's half-naked body, and the word 'wet' probably gives him dirty thoughts, AND he couldn't give Grimmjow a CPR XD

**Chapter Callenge!!!**It is now time for this week's challenge! It is rather simple, though this time if anyone can figure it out you will win a grand prize of a GrimXUlqui one-shot written by me! If you win I'll message you, then all you have to do is send a message back with a summary and any specific things you want added! So good luck, if more then one guesses correctly then the most accurate answer will be the winner. And the second prize winner will get a copy of the one-shot as well. Well here we go!

Why did Barragan help search for Grimmjow on Tuesday?

Just to warn you, you might have to go back quite a few chapters to find the answer, yes it's more work but the prize is much larger. Here it is so go review! And Good luck!

**Also a few answers for a few of my reviewers:**

The band that most describes Grimmjow is Slipknot, well in my oppinon they do.

And the reason Grimmy didn't like the other gory movies but liked saw was because it was more disturbing then actually gory. My sister likes Saw but doesn't like the thought of watching someone get an autopsy... weird right? I myself hate horror movies, though I absoulutly love Zombie movies... don't make sense does it?


	12. Week Twelve

**Authors note:** Here is chapter 12! And man is it long! It took me forever to do it because we just got a new computer and it's a completely different model, I had to relearn everything about computers in a day. That and my entire weekend was filled, I didn't get to do anything on our computer. I would like to thank my reviewers! Dante123, KyubiYoukuKitsune, Tobi, Comatose Overdose, superkim111, Kilalista, Grimmskat, o.O ohhhhhhhhh whatsitdoing?, Sightlines, Blader123, ima-glomp-you, Mistress -Freak, and Dior Crystal! Whooho! 14! I'm getting so many reviews! I love it! Continue my friends, and go read chapter 12! I know you want to!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, Cracker Barrel, an unknown festival, or a plushie of Ulquiorra… I want one so badly! All I own are Karite, Kurosu and a new edition named Jow!

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**Seventy eight  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

The most weirdest thing happened today, you know those annoying idiots that follow me around like a puppy? Yeah, they came back today. Do you know that they actually found a rock that was naturally shaped into a square? Yeah they did, and I had hoped they never would've.

So yes they are back, and do you know what? They met my fraccion for the first time today, and was it an epic meeting. Evidently it was hate at first glance, they were pissed that I got assigned a female fraccion when all of them had wanted to be my fraccions for as long as I've been an Espada. I just never wanted them as my fraccion.

So they fought with my fraccion, for all of an hour. My fraccion ended up beating the crap out of them, and now they worship the very ground she walks on. If she snaps her fingers they come to attention, if she wants a drink they all scramble over themselves to get her a drink. It's so pathetic, she has them at her beck and call.

So now my own followers won't listen to me, they are all to busy making my fraccion happy. Though at least they don't bother me anymore, I guess there is a small bonus.

Also it seems as if Ulquiorra brought a few friends home from the Zoo, his room now contains a bunch of bats. How I came upon this info? They escaped briefly and went to terrorize pink freak, though Ulquiorra quickly retrieved them before they could be experimented on.

So now Ulquiorra has a small part of his room made for his new bat buddies, he even went to the human world to bring them food. Strange right? I liked the panthers but I wouldn't bring them with me, though I don't think Aizen would allow me in the first place. I'm surprised that Ulquiorra was able to keep his little pets.

Karite is still on the lookout for her Grimmjow plushie, even worse? She managed to get those idiots to help her look for it! So they now know that not only does she have a plushie of me, but it's missing because someone stole it! I've had them looking at me strangely all day while they looked, it's really not what I needed.

And don't get me started on swimming hour! Those idiot followers were aghast that I had to do something so against my nature, I just told them it was under Aizen's orders. They then asked me if Aizen was out to get me, I responded that I think he just might be. And after they learned that I had a lifeguard they just laughed at me, so I gave them something to laugh at.

They are all now looking a little worse for wear, all of them laying in a heap by the pool. I just gave them a crash course on why I'm the king, and I don't think they were going to make the mistake of laughing at me again. I don't think they will be moving for a bit, I really need to send them off on another impossible errand. Though I thought the last one was, evidently I was wrong.

So after today I'm ready for bed, though I still haven't thought up a suitable punishment for my followers. That'll come tomorrow, right now I just want sleep.

**Seventy nine  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was interesting, though isn't everyday when you're an Espada?

I woke up to find a painting on my ceiling of Hueco Mundo, with Las Noches in the distance. It was so detailed it actually looked like I was standing outside looking at Las Noches from a distance. My followers also liked it and stood in my room almost all morning admiring it, all the while applauding my fraccion's talent.

Karite was there watching them admire it and I kicked them out of my room while ordering her to repaint it white. All of them wined and told me not to destroy it, but like I care? I just told them to shut up and went to breakfast, though with an unknown passenger. I hadn't known about the hitchhiker till I got to the kitchen.

Evidently one of Ulquiorra's bats had escaped again, it has taken up residence in my hollow's hole. It was actually hanging upside down in the opening, and I wouldn't have known if Harribel hadn't pointed it out to me. So I then took my new passenger to Ulquiorra's room and gave the fourth Espada back his wayward brethren.

After that I ordered those idiots that now worship my fraccion to go out and find the end to the Hueco Mundo desert, I told them not to return until they find it. Yes I practically told them to walk, and to keep walking until they couldn't walk anymore. Cruel aren't I?

Karite was a little miffed that I got rid of her new minions but I didn't care what she wanted. So they departed today, going to find the end of an endless desert. Hopefully they won't ever come back... ever ever again.

After that I went swimming, and I have to say I'm getting the hang of it. I can actually go into the deep end now without drowning, though I still have to stay close to the edge. It's not a total victory but it felt like a large accomplishment, and swimming isn't so bad now. It's not what I'd do for fun, but it isn't exactly torturous anymore.

Also it seems that my fraccion is up to something, I'm not sure what, but I have a feeling that it's going to be big. I saw her going around talking to all the Espada and their fraccions other then me, so it has to be dealing with me. And how in the Hell did she manage to get another plushie of me?!

Do you know how I know it's different from the first? It's me in my fucking released form!! How in the Hell does she even know what I look like in that form?! The worst part however? She carried it around with her all day in front of everybody! It was so annoying because everyone laughed at it!

So my fraccion is up to something, I've had an unwanted passenger when I woke up, I'm getting used to swimming and I got rid of my annoying followers. Today was full of ups and downs, though the downs seem to be the most prominent thing for today.

So I'm heading to bed wandering what could happen next.

**Day eighty  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I really didn't like today, because I did some soul searching. When ever I do anything involving my soul it never ends up good for me, and today was no different.

It started with waking up to find nothing on my ceiling, which I now consider odd. So after getting up I went searching for my fraccion, I found that she was talking to her sister. As soon as I approached them they both fell quite, which wasn't suspicious in the least. In case you couldn't tell, I'm being sarcastic.

Next I discovered that the unknown passenger I had yesterday was back again, yes that bat was back in my Hollow's hole. I just left him there, he's the best company I've had in a while anyway. That and he wasn't hurting anyone, at least not yet. I might actually train him to attack when I command, it would be interesting to see.

So I headed out of Las Noches right after I found my new friend, one thing I know is never to do a soul search where people can watch. I don't need them figuring out anything I'm just figuring out now do I? It's bad enough with just me learning this crap.

So I spent all day thinking, which is something I never enjoy doing. And I figured out things that I didn't want to. The main topic of this self exploration? Ulquiorra Sciffer, fourth Espada and supposedly the most emotionless Arrancar in existence.

I decided to see what I truly thought about him and his feelings about me, and it really didn't go well. First I figured out that I didn't mind the thought of being... gay, creepy right? I didn't mind the thought of Ulquiorra being gay either, though I seriously though he was asexual. I'm not kidding either, I really thought he was neither nor.

I next found that I didn't care about being kissed by him, if anything I... I enjoyed it. You have no clue how hard that is to admit. Especially to myself, I was content on just denying everything! But after I started there wasn't much choice but to continue, so I did.

I also learned that I might sort of maybe like him back... creepy beyond all control right? I don't know why I do, I just do! I don't even like him! Well I do, and yet I don't... It's just too damn confusing! And I have no clue what these feelings entitle, nor do I want to know.

I have no idea if Ulquiorra felt the same as me, if they are the same annoying feelings I'm fighting. I have no clue if I want to try to see or not, I don't know if it would be right to try to investigate these feelings further. I don't know if I should, and I sure as Hell don't know how he'd react.

And in an completely unrelated topic I discovered that I actually do care for my annoying fraccion, I care about one of the top people on my list that I want to kill. Yeah I actually care about her, almost like a friend like pet thing. Yeah I don't know what that means either, but it's what I feel for her.

So after returning I went straight to bed, though that bat was still in my Hollow's hole, I didn't particularly care. It was small compared to the way the rest of my day went, and all I want is to sleep.

**Day eighty one  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

In light of yesterday's discoveries I have decided to just wing it, yeah you know just go with the flow. Though just thinking on it makes me slightly nervous, every time I winged something before it went horribly wrong.

I woke up today with a painting on my ceiling, one I particularly didn't want to see after my soul searching yesterday. It was a picture of me, and surprise surprise Ulquiorra. What we were doing is going to stay confidential, I'm still seeing that image in my mind.

After I ordered my fraccion (Who else paints my ceiling?) to repaint my room and then headed over to Ulquiorra's room. I had to get my new little buddy food, in case you're wondering my new buddy was the little bat that's taken refuge in my Hollow's hole. I don't know why but I've grown attached to the little guy, and I didn't want him gone.

So after getting bat food from the perplexed Ulquiorra I headed out to breakfast, all the while feeding the little bat it's breakfast. I learned he's a fruit bat, and he got a nice breakfast of peaches with mango. I even came up with a name for the little guy, I have named him Jow. My fraccion calls him Little Jow though.

As I got to breakfast I was surprised to learn that my fraccion had her second plushie of me stolen yesterday, and I now have a clue as to 'who'. Though why he would want a plushie of me is beyond me, Ulquiorra just doesn't seem the type to have stuffed animals of any kind. I don't question it though, I'm winging it remember?

Next I had to go swimming, I made sure Jow was away from the water when I got in. I think the other Espada are freaked out about my new friend, but like I care. Little Jow is much cooler then any of them, he's much better company too. So I went swimming, and I didn't drown. I'm getting better at swimming, though it's more like a doggy paddle then anything. Redundant right?

After that I collected Jow and after putting him in his new home went to lunch, though I wish I hadn't now that I think about it. Aizen decided that life at Las Noches was getting a little to stressful, yeah fucking right! He just wanted an excuse to mess around with us, but since when was that new? He said that we're going on vacation, to a place called Hawaii on Saturday.

That gave us half a week to get packed and prepared for the trip, and we had to use the gigai's that pink freak made. I'm so fucking lucky aren't I? Not only did I have to go to the human world with a bunch of people I detest but I had to go while I itched to death. Just my luck.

Though I did get pink freak to build something so I can take Jow, he's one of the only things here I don't hate with a passion. Well him and Ulquiorra, but I'm not going into that right now. I really didn't want that to ruin the rest of my day, it was bad enough as it is.

So I'm going to bed now, not really looking forward to the rest of the week.

**Day eighty two  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I've discovered a few interesting things today, starting with of course my fraccion.

Evidently she put her plan into effect today, and I was sort of surprised. It turns out that today is my birthday, exactly one year ago I was awakened as an Arrancar. I didn't really pay attention to that sort of thing, as a Ajuukasu I didn't really care about something as stupid as a birthday.

So my fraccion threw me a surprise party, with everyone there. Even Aizen and his lackeys actually came, and they all got presents for me. Surprising right, I didn't expect anyone to actually get me anything. Us Espada don't really like each other much, especially when we rub each other the wrong way on daily basis.

It was kind of nice, I got this really cool cake that was blue and had a panther on it. I could tell that Karite decorated it, it looked really cool. The best part, it was really good. Believe it or not Aaroneiro was the one who cooked it, surprising right?

Next I got my presents, which I'm surprised that I got some at all. Starrk ended up giving me a very soft pillow, not surprising in the least. While Lilynette gave me a matching blanket, she said that she got it to match Starrk's present. Harribel got me a new jacket, while her fraccion chipped in and got me a bell. Ha ha ha, they think they're so clever.

Barragan got me a pair of socks, what's with old people and giving people socks? I would've like food more then that crap, but oh well. His fraccion gave me socks as well, evidently they couldn't think of anything to give me so they just copied their leader.

Ulquiorra got me a small cage and stuff for Jow, so he can have a place to stay at night. His fraccion painted a cloth to put behind the cage that looked like a cave. She said it would be nice for Jow to have something that looks like his usual habitat.

Next the spoon and his fraccion Tesla got me sword polisher for Panthera, while Zammari got me a yoga video. How did he know I liked yoga? After that pink freak gave me an experiment that was catnip that wouldn't make me completely loopy. While Aaroneiro gave me the cake of course, he refused to give me anything else.

Tousen got me a book on justice while Gin got me a squeaky toy mouse. Har har, he thinks he's so funny. Though Aizen's present was kind of nice, I got a full day free on earth. Meaning I get to go to the human world for a full day and do what I want, though no fighting allowed.

My fraccion's present however was the most oddest one ever, and now I understand why she waited until we were alone to give it to me. It was a small plushie of Ulquiorra, it even looked exactly like him. Why she gave me one is beyond me, though it's weird I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.

So I'm going to bed with a small plushie Ulquiorra staring at me from my nightstand and Jow in his new cage. Today was okay, it's actually been the best day in a long time.

**Day eighty three  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was my free day in the human world, and unfortunately it wasn't as great as I'd thought it'd be. I had to have a chaperone, to make sure I don't hurt anyone or such. And luckily for me it was Ulquiorra (Sarcasm of course), who else?

So I headed to earth with my watcher, unfortunately I couldn't bring Jow. Sad right? It wasn't too bad of a day, though I could do without the itchy gigai. First we headed out I went to get breakfast, a good breakfast at some place called Cracker Barrel.

It was good, and I thank the fact that Aizen gave me a card to buy stuff with. Ulquiorra didn't eat much but that wasn't really surprising, though he did eat toast. After breakfast we headed out, and I have to say not being able to fly sucks. We had to walk everywhere, and my legs hurt!

We then headed to a festival, evidently it was some kind of celebration today. I don't know what it was called but there was people everywhere. I discovered that Ulquiorra doesn't really like crowds, especially crowds of people. Though it was my free day so he didn't have a say in the matter.

The festival was fun and I wondered why we didn't have any in Hueco Mundo, there was food cooking everywhere. There were also all kinds of games to play, and prizes to win. It was fun, though Ulquiorra was better then me at that stupid goldfish game. Yeah you were suppose to pick one up with this paper net thing, why not just pick them up with your hands?

So yeah, Ulquiorra was better then me, and he got a goldfish. Though he gave it to some kid right afterwards, I guess he didn't like goldfishes. After that we headed to this place with these things called rides, they were awesome! I even got this bracelet that let me ride on any of them as much as I wanted!

I got to go on the rollercoaster thing and even dragged Ulquiorra on it, it was extremely fun! Though Ulquiorra looked paler then when he got on, and with his normal complexion that was a large feat. After riding as much as rides as possible we went to get some food, and I got to eat this tasty thing called a funnel cake. It was delicious, and I even got Ulquiorra to eat some.

After that we found this competition, if you won you got to sit at top of this large round thing called a ferries wheel while they shot the fireworks. Though I didn't know what fireworks was I wanted to see them, and they said the best place to do that would be on top of the ferries wheel. So yes I entered to win, and yes I did win. I'm me aren't I?

All you had to do was knock these metal bottles over with a small ball, I don't even know why everyone was having such trouble. The guy who was running it wasn't expecting it to happen, he even said he was surprised. Ulquiorra asked him why he thought so and the conversation ended with Ulquiorra being told he was too weak to knock them over.

I've never seen Ulquiorra get competitive before, but I did today. He not only knocked all the metal bottles over but he put a hole in the wooden background. Lets just say the guy was shocked, but I don't know why. Ulquiorra can do much more then that easily, he could destroy the entire stand in the blink of an eye without breaking a sweat.

With the winning ticket we got to sit on top of the ferries wheel while watching fireworks, which happen to be large bursts of fire like things. It was awesome, they were amazingly beautiful and I didn't want them to end. Though the atmosphere around me and Ulquiorra was slightly uncomfortable I still enjoyed the fireworks, I'm glad I got to come today.

So after that we headed back, and I headed to bed. Today was awesome and I really enjoyed it, two days in a row I've had a good time. I have a feeling it's going to turn around soon, I can't escape my bad luck for too long after all.

**Day eighty four  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today our vacation started, and I'm not relaxing yet. Aizen wanted the whole 'human' experience so it started with packing. After that we went to Karakura town and caught a plane, how we did that with no ID or passports ask Aizen. Though I did get to take Jow in a small leather pouch around my torso. I took utmost care of him, he's one of my best friends after all.

The plane ride was torturous though! I had to sit between Ulquiorra and my fraccion. Remember my fraccion's obsession with Ulquiorra? Well it's still there, and it's stronger then ever. She spent the whole time mooning over him, and Tesla who was sitting in the other aisle beside the spoon and pink freak didn't look too pleased.

So I've derived that he likes my fraccion, who against her will liked him as well. I wanted to just kill them both, it was so annoying. I wish they'd just kiss and get it over with, they both like each other after all. Though with my own situation I shouldn't be talking, you're not going to see me suddenly kiss Ulquiorra and make everything hunky dory.

After our forever plane ride (why humans use this mode of transportation is beyond me), we arrived at our destination. Honolulu Hawaii, and I have to say it is hot! Hueco Mundo is very cool, though not cold. I don't like such dramatic changes in temperature, I had to go the entire day without a shirt. It was just too hot for one, though I do say I like shorts. They are very comfortable, and not too hot.

I had chicks staring at me all day, I know I'm good looking but I didn't expect the amount of attention I got. Even a few came up and asked for my number. Considering I don't have a phone thing I couldn't give them one, that and the fact that I discovered recently I might be gay. Put a real damper on your mood doesn't it? To learn that you suddenly like men when your entire life you didn't.

Ulquiorra though spent much of his day glaring at the women, it was actually entertaining to see him get jealous. The best part? He didn't glare at me, I guess he doesn't think it's my fault when I be charming. It's all the girl's faults in his eyes, and he shows them all of his anger. It's actually quite funny to watch them hide from his glare, though a few girls fawn over him as well.

I found I do not like that either, I don't like when girls stare at him. I really don't like when they talk to him and try to get them to join them for some fun. I find I glare at them as well, making me just as bad as Ulquiorra. Though Karite is enjoying the show quite a bit, she follows us around just to watch us.

She says that I should just go jump him and get it over with, I then tell her she should do that as well to Tesla and she shuts up. Yeah she can be such a hypocrite some times, though I still like her... as a friend-pet-thing. Yeah my feelings for her still doesn't make any sense, I don't think they ever will.

After that we checked into a hotel and surprise I got Ulquiorra as a roommate, it really shouldn't have surprised me. I think Aizen is trying to get us together, though why he would is a mystery. He really shouldn't care about something so insignificant as his pawn's emotions. Because that was what we were to him in the end, just his pawns to move around and control.

Well I'm going to bed, I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be hectic. I need all the rest I can get, because I need to be ready.

End

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**Contest winners!** Last chapter I gave you all a question to answer and the results are in!!! I had many winners but there was one that was the most accurate and thus it is the winner. Me and my sisters judged each fairly and equally, and we have come upon the winner! Which is **Comatose Overdose**!!! The answer was both the most accurate, and the best worded; here it is!

**Comatose Overdose:** Barragan Helped look For Grimm-Chan because he thought it was funny when Grimmjow Pants'd Nnoi-chan during the Macbeth Play when Nnoi-chan was Macbeth.

Not only did it tell what play they were doing, but it also specified how he embarrassed him. The other winners who will be receiving a copy of the prize are:

**superkim111  
Tobi  
Dante123  
Kilalista  
KyubiYoukuKitsune  
Grimmskat**

There is also an answer that I found absolutely hilarious, even though it was incorrect, and I think they really need mentioning. It's by **Sightlines** and it's amazing, here it is:

**Sightlines:** Because he is a creepy old pervert. He wanted to find Grimmy in the uber-secret place he was and 'have his way with him' -Shudders-

That made me laugh so hard! I almost suffocated because I laughed so hard! Me and my sisters loved this one so it had to win something, we knew that it was totally incorrect but it deserved something. So we decided to mention it, it totally deserved it!!!

**Chapter Challenge:** Here is this chapter's challenge!! Though the usual prize is mentions and an imaginary cookie that I'd like to give you! Here's the challenge! Good luck!

Why is Aizen trying to get Ulquiorra and Grimmjow together?

Good luck!


	13. Week Thirteen

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Authors note:

Chapter 13 is out! And man was it tough! I'd like to thank all of my reviewers, there is just to many to list. I literally had about 20 for the last chapter alone! I never knew this would get that popular! Anyway here is the next chapter, go my friends and read! And enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, Crackel Barrel, TGI Fridays, Hometown Pizza, or Hawaii. Though I do own Grimmjow's fraccion, so yay!

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**Day eighty five  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Day one of our official vacation started today, and I can already tell this trip was not going to end well.

It started with waking up to find Ulquiorra straddling me, now that isn't how I usually wake up. It sort of startled me, but wouldn't it startle you? I wake up and he's sitting on me while staring at me, that doesn't happen everyday. After he noticed me awake and gaping at him he just ignored my look and got off to head towards the bathroom.

After that odd morning I went to breakfast with a slightly bad feeling in my gut, and oh how it was right. This morning was hectic, especially because there were ten Espada's, thirteen fraccions, and three ex Shinigamis in the human world. So this morning did not go smoothly, the best part? I was one of the only ones who didn't run Aizen up a wall, shocking right?

So after a few minutes of crowd control (i.e. threatening to skewer us with his sword) Aizen finally calmed everyone down enough to instructed us on how we were going to go about today, he ended up splitting us up into groups. These groups were going to be our designated groups that we had to stay in for the entire trip, meaning I had to put up with a bunch of idiots for however long we were trapped here.

I ended up in a group with Ulquiorra, my fraccion, that damn spoon and his fraccion as well as pink freak. Whoohoo, I had to put up with those two idiots who keep trying to suffocate each other with their mouths, two more idiots who keep trying to kill each other, and one that just sits there watching everything without any emotions what-so-ever.

We ended up going out on the town today, and having to stay with those idiots made today difficult. Window shopping because my fraccion threatened to tell everyone my feelings didn't help either, I don't like shopping. One bit. So we went shopping, and thanks to Aizen giving us a plastic card Karite bought a lot of things. A lot of art things, I've never seen so many pencils in one sitting.

The funniest part? She tricked Tesla to carry all of her bags, even the spoon laughed at that one. After he got done scolding his fraccion for being tricked into such a degrading thing that is, but he didn't laugh for too long. Karite also managed to trick both pink freak and that damn spoon into carrying her bags as well, I couldn't help but laugh at them.

Thankfully she knew better to even try that shit with me, or Ulquiorra. I don't want to have to hurt her, I carry bags for no one. Ulquiorra doesn't seem the type either, he just watched Karite closely before she ran off to go trick Tesla. Even she knows not to attempt that, she didn't know how'd he react and I'm guessing she doesn't want to.

Next we had dinner at some restaurant called TGI Fridays, they have good food. Very good food, what made it better though? I managed to talk Ulquiorra into actually eating, though it wasn't much it was something. Also I managed to feed Jow before any of the waitresses could figure out that I snuck him inside, his little carrying bag does look like a normal bag that people carry around. He went with me all day, though he slept most the time.

Evidently Jow likes to sleep during the day time in the human world, well in Hueco Mundo we had no day. Only night, so he stayed up with me and slept when I did. Oh well, as long as no one hit his little case he could sleep all he wanted.

After that we headed back to the hotel, and the day wound down. Today had been slightly annoying, but tomorrow it's my turn to say what we get to do. And I can't wait.

**Day eighty six  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was pretty cool, all because I got to choose what we got to do. I forced everyone into going to an amusement park, and it was fun!

First I woke up to find Ulquiorra sitting on my bed, at least he wasn't on me this time. I just shrugged at him before getting up, I think I threw him off slightly. He actually looked confused, almost as if he couldn't believe I acted like that. I find it funny, who knew messing with Ulquiorra would be so rewarding?

After that I gathered our group together to eat breakfast before heading out, yesterday I had seen an amusement park and that was were we headed today. Unfortunately I had to leave Jow at the hotel, I wouldn't be able to go on the rides otherwise. That and I really don't trust Karite to watch him while I ride, I wouldn't trust her with anything.

So we went to the amusement park, much to Ulquiorra's dismay. I saw him pale just as we arrived, he must still dislike the rides. I just shrugged and dragged them along, it's not like they had a choice anyway. It was my day to choose what to do, and they had to follow. This kind of power is addicting!

First we went on the rollercoaster, and when we got off only me, Tesla and the spoon was cheering. Ulquiorra, Karite, and pink freak were all very pale, my fraccion and pink freak both staggering as if they were drunk. Ulquiorra maintained his emotionless mask, but just barely. It looked like he wanted to lay down, and not get back up.

After that we headed to the other rides, and we rode each one. Karite was sick, and that's why I told her that we were going to eat after the rides. She didn't comment, to intent on keeping her stomach where it belonged. I didn't have such a problem, I had a strong stomach I guess.

Though there was one ride she liked however, it was a really tall tower. It went up and then waited before plummeting straight towards the ground, and whoo was it a rush! The others seemed able to handle this one, at least they didn't stagger away from that one. Though Nnoitra screamed like a little girl, who knew he was afraid of heights?

After that we went to go eat, a large steak and drink later we took off again. Heading towards the game booth section of the amusement park, and thanks to a plastic card we were able to play for hours. All we had to do was go to a thing called an ATM and withdraw money, cool right? So we spent a lot of money, and it was fun.

Nnoitra ended up winning a large teddy bear that he gave to Szayel, he said it matched the octava's hair so he could keep it. Gag me with a spoon, though at least they weren't making out. Karite won this large tiger that she tricked Tesla into carrying for her, and the spoon's fraccion even won a small rabbit.

Karite mocked him for getting a smaller one then her, though she didn't seem to mind when he threw it to her. He said he doesn't like rabbits so she could keep it, more like he just wanted to give her something. Ulquiorra however won the largest prize, which was a life sized tiger. He ended up giving it to some kid, who looked very happy that she got something easily twice her size for free.

After that we all headed back to the hotel, arms full of prizes. Today was exhausting and I was glad to go to bed, I needed the rest.

**Day eighty seven  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today didn't go so well, and compared to yesterday it was a disaster. Yesterday was fun and eventful, today was horrible. It was Szayel's turn to choose what we go to do today, that alone should tell you that it didn't go well.

I woke up to see Ulquiorra gone, his bed already made. I didn't question it, Ulquiorra didn't have a set wake up time anyway. He got up usually before me, so it wasn't too odd. Though he usually stuck around until I got up.

After feeding Jow and packing him with me I headed out to get breakfast. After that we gathered into our groups and learned what we were going to be doing today, much to my dismay. Pink freak decided that he wanted to go to the volcano Mauno Lao, which is suppose to be the largest active volcano in the world.

We have no volcanoes in Hueco Mundo, and now I know why. It is very painful when you get shoved practically in the damn lava, very very painful. Want to know how I know this? Szayel decided to test the effects of lava on his gigai, thus he shoved me into the volcano.

I barely had enough time to throw Jow's bag up to a startled Karite as I fell, she caught it but just barely. I fell quite a while and it was hot, very hot. Thankfully there was a ledge below me, thankfully I landed on said ledge. It hurt, and the rock was hot, but it was better then swimming in lava. The ledge itself was only ten feet about the red hot liquid itself.

After I managed to climb my way back out I shoved him over the edge in retaliation, but don't worry I did it where the ledge was below it. Nnoitra who had laughed at me when I fell, got a quick shove as well.

As I retrieved Jow from Karite I heard pink freak and that damn spoon cussing at me, karma... enough said. Pink freak tried to incinerate me, and I just returned the favor. At least I made sure he wouldn't burn alive, Aizen would be mad and I didn't need him on my case after today.

Ulquiorra who watched the entire ordeal with a slightly interested look didn't move to interfere when I decided to send pink freak and that damn spoon over the edge. Though he didn't move to interfere when I got shoved off either, though I didn't need his help.

Jow who had been waken up by the commotion was slightly distraught, it wasn't everyday for him that it got really hot before being tossed around. It took an hour to calm him back down and for him to finally fall back asleep. I don't like my little buddy being so upset, it just gave me another reason to be pissed at pink freak.

After that we headed to dinner at some place called Hometown Pizza, and man was it awesome. This pizza stuff is amazing! It's like eating a lot of meals in one, it was delicious! Even Ulquiorra ate two full pieces, shocking right? Karite at an entire large pizza by herself, how does she eat so much? Does she store it in her leg or something?

So dinner was the only thing about today that was worth getting out of bed, so I'm going to sleep with slightly singed hair and a full stomach.

**Day eighty eight  
Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was better then yesterday, but that wasn't surprising. I almost took a dip in a pool of lava yesterday, not much could beat that out on the bad day scale.

I awoke this morning to find Ulquiorra gone again, which is very odd. It wasn't normal for him to be up and gone two days in a row, especially when I woke up early this morning. I wondered what was with him, it annoys me that I'm worried about him but I can't help it.

After getting up and feeding Jow we went out, Jow in his little bag. After grabbing breakfast our little group headed out and we learned it was that damn spoon's turn to choose where we go. He chose the beach, only to mess with me I know it. I think it's pay back for shoving him off that cliff yesterday, but it was only fair.

So first we had to go shopping for swimsuits, I didn't bring mine in hope that I wouldn't have to go swimming on this trip. Karite ended up picking all of our swimsuits out, and I was confused on how she got all of our measurements. After she gave them to us we headed out, and thankfully the beach we were at was vacant.

Karite's swimsuit was a bikini top with trunks that was a crystal blue, I also noticed that Tesla couldn't stop staring at her. They are both such idiots, though she was checking him out in his navy blue trunks. Pink freak had pink swimming trunks with three black lines, and the spoon had white trunks. You could really tell that she doesn't like the spoon, his was the only one that was really bland.

She got me turquoise swimming trunks with a blue trim that matched my eyes, I actually like them more then my other pair. And believe it or not Ulquiorra actually wore the swimming trunks picked out for him, I had expected him to refuse to change. They were green that matched his eyes, with blue green trim. They looked good on him, not that I'd ever admit it out loud.

So we went swimming, I think I actually shocked a few of the others by actually getting in the water. I just smirked at them, water wasn't too bad anymore. I just had to adjust to it, though it wasn't exactly the funniest thing. Even Ulquiorra got in the water, though he only sat in the shallows. Jow was sleeping in his bag on the beach, I even found a nice shady spot for him.

The main event? A game where Szayel sat on Nnoitra's shoulders while Karite got onto Tesla's shoulders and they fought it out. It took my fraccion almost half an hour to talk Telsa into being on her team, I had already refused and she didn't even bother asking Ulquiorra. He agreed eventually, and me and Ulquiorra were the 'official' judges.

Karite's team ended up winning, but only because she plays dirty. I don't think it's legal in that game to put pink freak in a head lock, but who cares. We or I declared them the winner, I chose the lesser of the two evils.

Szayel argued that it was a biased opinion and asked Ulquiorra to declare the winner instead, he ended up choosing Karite and Tesla as well. He said they won, whether it was fair or not. I laughed at that, I couldn't help it.

So after that we swam for a little longer before heading back to the hotel, after catching a quick meal we headed to bed. Today was sort of fun, though I could do without the sunburn I got.

**Day eighty nine  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was painful! And having this blasted sunburn wasn't helping in the least!

I woke up in pain this morning, that is the only word that can even describe what I felt. Pain, and lots of it. After managing to drag my body off my bed I was surprised to see Ulquiorra sitting on his bed, the most surprising thing was that he was white as snow.

How in the hell did he manage to go without a sunburn? He's paler then me, he should look like a fucking stop sign! After seeing my confusion he told me that he wore sunscreen, that would explain it. I then asked why he didn't give me any and he said I didn't ask.

I growled at him slightly while getting ready for the day, it hurt everywhere. No part of my skin but my lower body was spared, and that was only because I stood in water. Now that I think about it standing in water might be the reason I'm in this mess, we don't have sunlight in Hueco Mundo. Well except that fake daylight that Aizen created but that doesn't give us sunburns.

So I'm red, very red. One good thing did come out of it, my fraccion, that damn spoon, pink freak and Tesla were all about the same color. They too were surprised at Ulquiorra's paleness, and he didn't even tell them why. I didn't either, it's too much fun to see them trying to figure out why the palest of us all went burn free.

After feeding Jow, and eating breakfast we headed out to go to Tesla's choice of activity. Which happened to be a big party called a luau, it was actually kind of fun. There was food, drinks and dancing girls... what's not to like. Though I didn't pay attention to the ladies like I used to before I had figured out that I was gay. Oh well, I had too much fun to worry over that.

We played this game called limbo and of course I won, though I think it's due my flexibility. I've always been naturally flexible, I blame that on my release form. Though I did win this really cool trophy, even though it was made out of cheep plastic. It feels good to win something and have proof that you did, and my cheep trophy signified that I beat everyone at limbo.

It was odd but Ulquiorra actually participated, though he lost pretty quickly. He claimed that the trashy excuse for a game was beneath him, normally I would find that egoistic and stuck up but it was just too funny. I actually figured out the real reason he didn't want to play, evidently Ulquiorra doesn't like dirt. Just the thought of actually falling down while trying to bend backwards made Ulquiorra weary so he refused to play. How I figured this out will remain confidential, I'd rather not have him castrating me.

Next we did something called a conga line, and it was fairly odd. We joined in though, it was only polite after dropping in on someone's random party. You had to line up in a row while holding your hands on the person in front of you, then you randomly had to kick your feet. Weird right? So we participated and one good thing did come out of it, I got to hold Ulquiorra.

Though Karite was behind me she kept pinching my shoulders, telling me to go for it. I then told her snidely who she had holding onto her waist in this Congo line, and that she should take her own advice. Tesla stood behind my fraccion, so that shut her up pretty quickly. The dance was weird, but still kind of fun.

After that the party winded down, and we had to cart the damn spoon and pink freak back. Evidently they got a hold of some alcohol, and they were smashed. They were completely loopy, to the point that the damn spoon confused me for the other inebriated one and tried to kiss me. Lets just say that he will be waking up tomorrow in the lobby's fountain, with a large bruise on his face. Who knew that Ulquiorra could hit that hard without me even realizing he moved?

Anyway we headed to bed right afterwards, completely exhausted after today. And still in pain, a lot of pain.

**Day ninety  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was interesting, in both good ways and bad ways. Though the good things outweighed the bad things so I guess it was worth getting out of bed.

I woke up to find my skin peeling, literally coming off. It was creepy, and seeing Ulquiorra eyeing me like I'm discussing? Not what I need when I wake up in the morning, it's not to helpful for the self esteem you know. After taking a shower, yes I actually took one, most of the dead flaking skin was gone.

I didn't know it took this fast for a sunburn to go away, I thought it went further. Thought these were gigais so that might explain it, they must have different effects then actual humans. With my skin back to it's tanned color me and after feeding Jow we headed out.

We learned that due to yesterday both pink freak and that spoon had very bad hangovers, so they couldn't accompany us today. That and the spoon got a cold for sleeping in the fountain, so we were free of two of our companions. Even more surprising however was that Karite got sick, evidently she ate something last night that she was allergic to. She couldn't even sit up, she was that sick.

So Aizen ordered Tesla to not only take care of pink freak and the spoon but also my fraccion. Thankfully I didn't have to, it would've been horrible if I had to put up with her today. A sick Karite is not my idea of a vacation, though I did go visit her before me and Ulquiorra headed out. She looked horrible, and she said she felt what she looked like.

So heading out it was only me and Ulquiorra, well it was his turn to choose today's activity. We went to a boardwalk, evidently it was the only thing Ulquiorra could really think to do here in the human world. I didn't care, just spending time with him was fine.

As we walked the boardwalk we got some food, they had some kind of art fair or something because there was art everywhere. We strolled along, looking at each exhibit. I actually enjoyed it, though I didn't understand most of what I saw. I don't even think many of the humans even understood what they saw, it was that odd.

Halfway through our walk however I noticed Ulquiorra behaving oddly, and I saw him hand twitching. Sighing I just grasped his hand, which I think I startled my usually emotionless companion. Though I startled him he didn't pull away, which I see as a good sign. He didn't look at me though, not the entire time we held hands.

We walked most the day hand in hand, and I found myself enjoying my time. Ulquiorra looked like he was enjoying his time as well, though I couldn't really tell. After we viewed the entire art fair we continued down the boardwalk, still hand in hand. We ended up on a pier just as the sun setted, and I have to say it was terribly clichéd.

I didn't care and me and Ulquiorra just sat around, then I did something I never expected. I winged it and ended up kissing Ulquiorra, of my own free will at that. I think I scared him, but he didn't push me away. The kiss was short but it was sweet, and I found myself liking it.

After that we had to head back to the hotel, I didn't enjoy having my time with Ulquiorra cut short. After checking in on my fraccion I headed back to my room, today was good but exhausting. I kissed Ulquiorra, and with that thought I'm off to bed.

**Day ninety one  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today our vacation ended, and I was actually pretty sad about that. Though I wasn't sad about the plane ride back to Karakura town, it took forever again! We packed up and said goodbye to Hawaii, boarding our torture transportation... I mean airplane.

The plane ride was long, and I was seated between Ulquiorra and my fraccion again. Karite was slightly sick from yesterday so she slept the entire way back. Ulquiorra just started out the window the entire time and I had to listen to the damn spoon yell at me for leaving him in a fountain.

After we got off the plane we made our way back to Hueco Mundo, and I was seriously jet lagged. I don't even remember the trip back to Las Noches, my fraccion commented to me later that I had looked like a zombie. Though she did as well, she was still sick from that allergic reaction after all.

After taking a quick nap I felt better and I was finally able to get out of that itchy gigai. Though I had adjusted to it over the week, so when I was able to leave it, it was like I didn't have a body. I felt like a ghost, actually. It was a loose and tingly feeling and I found I liked it much more then the gigai body, it was kind of stuffy.

After catching a quick bite to eat Aizen called a meeting, and asked us all what we learned over the week. Group one, which consisted of Harribel, Stark, Lilynette and Harribel's fraccion. Group two was Barragan, his fraccion, Kurosu and Aaranerio. Group three was Aizen, Gin, Tousen, Zammari and Yammy. Our group was number four, though with Ulquiorra on our team I wasn't surprised.

While we told Aizen about our week we learned that we had much more fun then any of the other teams. We got to go swimming, go to an amusement park, went shopping, lava diving, and to a large party. No one else even came close to such an eventful week.

Group one didn't do much because Starrk slept most of the time, all the other times they went shopping. Having five girls in that group out of six that's not surprising. They went shopping most of the week, and they bought more things then any six people could posibly buy. They almost needed another plane just to bring it all back with them, and yes they did.

Group two just hung around the hotel the entire week, Barragan refused to go out and do anything. His fraccion all just watched TV, evidently it fascinated them. Simple things are easy to amuse those who are mentally weak, it was only proven that they could spend an entire week watching TV static. Aaroneiro just ate everything he could get a hold of, he went out to a lot of different restaurants to eat. Kurosu just painted the entire time, she painted quite a bit.

Group three didn't do much either, they just investigated the city some. Yummy ate a lot, while Zammari went to some dojo to meditate. They did that practically all week, Tousen just sat on some beach while Gin spooked around. Aizen evidently didn't leave his temporary throne, I don't think he even left to eat or use the bathroom.

After the meeting we all left, heading to our rooms. The plane ride left many of us tired and I wondered why Aizen just didn't open a portal in Hawaii. He wanted the experience to be completely human like, well we didn't want that. I spent hours walking, forever on a plane, and suffered from sunburns, I don't think I would've been able to stand anymore human experience.

I'm heading to bed, I deserve to rest. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I want to be prepared for it.

End

* * *

**Contest winner!!!** There is a winner for my challenge and they get a cookie and a mention! The winner for the question: Why is Aizen trying to get Grimmjow and Ulquiorra together? The answer was: He see's Ulquiorra as his son, and what is son wants his son gets. The winner is **Klalista**!!! Congratulations my friend! You don't win much but it's better then nothing! Here is their answer!

**Klalista**: I don't know the answer to this, so I'm gonna fuck it (hard) and say because he secretly wants to be a fatherly man. pedophilia and all. 8D he wants the warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside so he can maybe share it with gin. in the pants. wait, i mean without the pants.

**Other winners**

debbiegedigirl  
LoVeLeSs77  
KyubiYoukuKitsune  
Comatose Overdose  
Yaoi-lover13  
Sudden Love

Congratulations to all of you!

Now is time for our **LMAO **winner!!! This is the most funniest and humorous of them, and it deserves a mention.

**Mistress -Freak:** And who says Aizen's trying to get them together? Everyone knows it's all a clever plan the republicans in government came up with to help support gay rights! Remember, "Big Brother Reads You"

So random! I loved it!

**Chapter Challenge:** Why was Ulquiorra gone before Grimmjow woke up on Tuesday and Wednesday? Good luck!


	14. Week Fourteen

**Authors note:** Chapter 14 people! Here it comes! This week's was kind of weird, I've been losing my artistic vision. But worry not, through snow or sleet or raining cats and dogs I will continue. I am also running out of ideas so any suggestions are appreciated, after camping week I'm going to be out of ideas! So Help! I would like to thank the academy... I mean my reviewers for all their lovely reviews! Now go enjoy some Grimmjow goodness!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, Fruity Pebbles or coffee, but I do own Karite... even when she's on a coffee high. And an exhausted Kurosu, who unfortunately for her has to put up with her sister.

* * *

**Day ninety two  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

In light of last week I didn't know what this week would bring, what really did happen however I hadn't expected.

I woke up to find a picture on the ceiling, ah it's good to be home. It was a picture of Ulquiorra punching the spoon like he did the other day, I have to say it was epic! Though I forced her to paint over it, I don't need Nnoitra on my ceiling no matter if he was suffering or not.

After that I fed Jow, thankfully he was back to the normal wake time table, and he took up residence in my hollow's hole once again. It was kind of weird as a human because I couldn't carry him like that, I'm glad it's back to normal now. I then headed down to breakfast, wondering what today would bring. After a bowl of Fruity Pebbles I got prepared for the rest of the day, which was a good thing that I did, now that I think about it.

Aizen ordered us to a meeting right after breakfast, and he told us about his plan for this week. It seems that Aizen had been thinking that Las Noches wasn't white enough to his liking, he kept claiming it was off white instead of pristine porcelain. So what does he do in light of such atrocity? He ordered every Arrancar to repaint the entire fortress of Las Noches, every one of us.

What the fuck!? The building wasn't white enough for him! Who cares if it's white!? It was a fortress where he's creating an army, not some house in Homes and Gardens! It's suppose to look intimidating and shit! Evidently white walls were scary to the shinigami, that's the only thing I can think of why he would want us to repaint it.

He made us paint all day today, and we barely got anything done. Even with all of us Arrancars we didn't even get a third of the way done! And we were only doing the outside! I don't even want to imagine doing the inside, not only is there thousands of corridors but it extends underground as well.

Though I was at least able to talk to Ulquiorra during the painting process, considering we were in the same place. We were all designated to paint a certain part, Ulquiorra just happened to be painting the sector beside mine. He didn't talk much but I was used to that, I just kept talking to fill the silence. Though we are getting closer it's kind of odd, I didn't expect whatever this is to progress quite this way.

After painting most of the day we had to literally drag our bodies back inside, I don't think I can handle much more of this. After I managed to get into the kitchen I had a quick dinner, which was only a sandwich. Evidently the Arrancars that cooked dinner were also painting, and they didn't have the energy to cook today. So we ate what we could piece together, Karite didn't even eat she just fell asleep on the kitchen floor.

After dinner I really needed to relax, so after going to my room and making sure my door was locked I got out Zammari's present that he got me. Which just happened to be a yoga video, after going along with the poses I really started to feel better. My body wasn't sore anymore, and I was much more relaxed then I was earlier.

After that I got ready for bed, today was pretty long and I deserved it. I feel sorry for the others when they wake up, were I did yoga I'm relaxed and am going to be fine. Everyone else is going to be sore, wait no scratch that I'm not sorry. They deserve it, and I find their misery amusing. I'm evil after all.

So to bed I go, not wanting tomorrow to come.

**Day ninety three  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I awoke this morning relaxed and full of energy, who knew that yoga would be this soothing? I looked up to see nothing on my ceiling, evidently my fraccion didn't have the energy to paint anything last night. Her and her sister did paint the most yesterday after all, they were the artists.

So I got up, fed Jow, and headed down for breakfast. It was actually quite entertaining, everyone was laying around the table groaning. I just walked in and acted all cheery greeted everybody, I think I might of scared them a little too much. But hey, I like keeping them on their toes.

After eating we all got back to work painting, which was excruciating. We spent forever painting the west side of Las Noches today, and it took forever. Thankfully we got almost all of it done with the outside today, evidently pink freak created more fraccion just to help us paint. So we got almost the entire outside done, meaning tomorrow we'll start on the inside.

I think I startled Ulquiorra though, I painting most of the day in a hyper mood. I felt great today, and I was able to work much more today then yesterday. I talked to him most of the day again, though I at least got him to answer most of my questions today.

Karite who found my sudden increase in energy odd, and she begged me to know my secret. She and her sister did most of the painting again, they took a big chunk of it themselves. As artists they were used to painting, she said be it small or big she would always be able to paint more then anyone.

I don't even want to think about what tomorrow would bring, the inside of Las Noches is extensive. Not only does it have the living quarters for all of us, but also living quarters for the lesser arrancars, and thousands of corridors designed to confuse intruders. And now we were going to have to paint them all, every single one.

After we got done for the day we headed to dinner, and had another sandwich. It wasn't surprising when my fraccion fell asleep at the table again, though she was on top of the table. She didn't even try to go to bed, she didn't even eat. Kurosu, also fell asleep in her chair before eating, though at least she wasn't on the table.

I was only slight sore and had a lot of fun making fun of everyone else, who looked as if they were old people. I could literally skip around them and they could barely walk, yoga was a very good thing. I should tell them about my secret to lessen the soreness and more gain energy... Nah! It's to fun to watch them stumble around like zombies, so I don't think I'll tell them.

So I then headed to my room and watched my yoga video again, after a quick session I headed off to bed. The aches and pains of today melted away, and I'm going to bed completely relaxed.

**Day ninety four  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I woke up this morning relaxed and well rested, just like yesterday. There was also no painting on my ceiling this morning either, though I hadn't been expecting one. My fraccion had literally fell asleep on the table last night, I would've bet that she was still there.

After getting up and feeding Jow I headed down to breakfast, to find that yes she was still on the table. After shoving her off I grabbed a breakfast, whistling happily. I laughed at everyone's expression, which clearly spoke disbelief. I could literally see them trying to figure out why I'm in such a good mood after two days of excruciating work.

I didn't let them in on it, I enjoy keeping them confused. It's just so much fun. Though I think Zammari knows why I'm this relaxed, though he didn't point it out. I'm glad, and it makes me like him just a little bit more.

So we started painting today and after a few hours got done with the outside and moved inside, so much walls! We painting so long today, and didn't get even a fourth done! Many of us thought about quitting, that was until Gin came by and told us of Aizen's new orders. Evidently if we finish this painting job by Saturday we get a prize, an entire week of relaxation.

That got us motivated, an entire week of being left alone? That was the best thing in the world right now! No responsibilities, no working, no listening to Aizen order us to do impossible things. And for an entire week! That got many of us motivated and we worked our butts off, more then we had all week.

Ulquiorra also seemed strangely motivated, he worked pretty hard as well. And as the fourth Espada that was quite a lot of work, more then me I can say. Though that's only because I had to paint next to Szayel today, that pink freak kept complaining that it was beneath him.

If I have to listen to another day of him I will fucking kill him, trust me. How would you like it if someone kept saying 'This is beneath me, I shouldn't be doing this kind of work!' In a high pitched whiny feminine voice all day long! I almost killed him, I would've if Gin hadn't came by to warn me not to.

How Aizen knew I was on the brink of killing the pink freak I didn't know, but I was glad when we finally quit for the day. We headed down for supper and my fraccion didn't even make it to the kitchen today, she fell asleep at her painting station. She was asleep in a bucket of white paint, thankfully her sister removed her face from the bucket so she wouldn't drown.

After grabbing a sandwich and bidding goodbye to the others I headed back to my room, locked myself in and watched my video. After about half an hour of workout I headed to bed, slightly exhausted after today's work.

So I'm off to bed, not wanting to see tomorrow.

**Day ninety five  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Woke up this morning back to my energetic self, and I have to say I love my yoga video! No painting on my ceiling either, I wouldn't be surprised if my fraccion was still where she fell asleep last night, still covered in paint in the hallway. So that's one good thing about this entire painting thing, she doesn't bother me like usual. Which is good.

Getting up I fed Jow and headed to breakfast, like I had every day this week. I was hyper too, much to the shock and dismay of the others. You'd think after three days they'd figure it out or at least be used to it, but no they aren't. I enjoy laughing at them though, it's really quite humorous if you think about it.

So we started to paint again today, beginning in the lower corridors. Who knew we had so many passage ways!? We painted forever and only got half of the underground ones done, we hadn't finished them and there was much more above ground!

Guess who I got stuck with again, if you guessed Szayel then you are correct. I had to be put beside his pansy ass all day! Though it was slightly bearable because Ulquiorra was on my other side, though just barely. Pink freak can really complain, he has it down to an art. Which just intensifies my theory of him being a woman, only he could complain like one.

Not even my fraccion who is actually a female complained that much, and she was doing a large portion of the work. Her and her sister had done more work then almost all the Espada combined, they did that much. That was also why she was on the brink of unconsciousness after each day, I hate to say it but I'm proud of her. Though I'd never admit it out loud.

Though the most coolest thing happened just before quitting time, it turned out that Loly and Menoly haven't been trying too hard. They barely painted an entire wall between them, and my fraccion found out. Karite was pissed beyond all reason, and she let them two know it.

She beat the hell out of them, and then told them to work. And then she said to continue working until she said they could quit, they were probably still painting. It's about midnight and Karite still hadn't told them to quit, I think they truly will paint until she tells them to stop. Karite could be scary when she needed to be, I taught her well.

After we got done for the day we headed to get food, and many of the other lower arrancars dragged my fraccion in. Evidently she earned their respect and worship when she beat up those two bitches, thankfully it wasn't any of the Espada. I don't need any of them worshiping her, it was annoying enough with my followers.

Heading to my room after that I watched my yoga video, letting the stress of today melt away. After my video I headed to bed, today had been full of surprises and I need the rest. Though I'm still slightly hungry, these sandwiches aren't filling me up.

So I'm off to bed, waiting to see what tomorrow would bring.

**Day ninety six  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I woke up in a good mood again today, though I wasn't looking forward to painting. I might have all this energy, but that doesn't mean I want to paint. Though if I do paint then I get a full week of relaxation, so I guess I'll paint. 'It's worth it', that's what I have to keep telling myself.

I got up again, fed Jow, and headed off to breakfast. Which has been a very repetitive routine lately, it's almost as if I've found myself in a rut. I just shrugged my shoulders and got my breakfast, which of course was Fruity Pebbles. Can never get enough of that stuff, it's the best cereal in the world.

The others who have grown accustom to my energetic mood barely looked at me today, they all looked exhausted and we hadn't even got to painting yet. The only one who didn't look as if he'd fall out of his chair was Zammari, and considering he did yoga anyway it wasn't that surprising.

After all of us got done eating we headed off to paint again, starting back down in the lower floors beneath Las Noches. Thankfully we got the underground rooms completely done today, meaning all we had to do now was the upper floors. Though there was much more corridors and rooms above ground, so much more that I often get lost.

Also it turns out that Loly and Menoly were still painting, yes they had actually painted all night long. Karite admits she forgot to tell them to stop, so they got to rest today. They did paint a large portion last night, even though they usually slack off. My fraccion can be very motivating if the need ever arises, those two bitches were just too motivated to argue back.

So we got to painting, and I was forced to listen to Szayel complain again, though he shut up around noon. That might be because I threatened to chop all his hair off and then drown him in the paint at one point, I can't remember half the threats I've directed at him this week. That one just happened to work, thank whoever's listening for that.

I talked to Ulquiorra after that, thankful that pink freak remained quiet. He didn't talk much today either but that didn't bother me, he seemed to be more... I don't know, nicer. Though after finding out that he liked me it should've been obvious, but he was also nicer to others. Not by much, but just a little bit. Though he's still rude to Nnoitra, but that wasn't too surprising. Not after last Friday.

We worked into the late hours of the evening, though we did get the above ground corridors a fourth of the way done. Only two more days of this, and then a free week. I just can't wait, it makes working this hard almost worth it. Though I could do without the sandwiches for supper, I can't wait until we have real food again.

The lower Arrancar took Karite to her room, after they fed her of course. I see a pattern forming, whenever my fraccion was around weaker Arrancar she managed to get them to follow her. I don't know how she manages it but it's very weird, I'm just glad it doesn't work on the Espada.

After eating I went back to my room and watched my yoga film again, after the session I headed to bed. I was exhausted after today, and I needed to sleep.

So to bed I go, with only two more days until our free week.

**Day ninety seven  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I awoke to something strange today, oh how I missed the peaceful awakenings I've had this week. My fraccion was bouncing around my room, more hyper then anyone could imagine. And for me that was saying something.

After getting her to calm down enough to talk too I learned the reason for this sudden burst of energy, evidently she got a hold of a human drink called 'coffee'. She was literally running in circles this morning, whatever this drink was it worked wonders for her. Though she did tell me later that she drank about six cups this morning.

After kicking her out of my room I fed Jow and headed down for breakfast, being followed by a hyper crazy Karite. Whatever this coffee stuff was she was not allowed to have any more of it, she was practically impossible to put up with today. Though she did paint more then I could imagine, she almost painting more then every Arrancar combined today. And that was counting her sister, all in one day!

So after breakfast we got to work, and today was a very good day. With the energized Karite we got almost three fourths of the way done, meaning that we should finish by noon tomorrow. Hello free week! I can't wait for that free week, an entire week of doing nothing. I can see it now, no bothers, no orders, nothing but sleeping and relaxing.

Though I was put beside Szayel today he didn't talk much, making today slightly quiet. Though with Karite off down the corridors singing and such it wasn't too quiet, though pink freak didn't complain today. Evidently he took my threat from yesterday seriously, good because I was serious. I don't bluff, there was no point in it. If I said I'll do something, then I will.

Menoly and Loly were ordered by Karite to get painting again today, they tried to resist at first. But Karite was full of energy today, and she wooped their asses from one side of Las Noches to the other. They got to work quickly after that, glaring and grumbling. But still they were working. If it was up to me I'd make them paint all week, screw letting them rest.

So after we finished for the day we headed in for dinner, and Karite in her coffee induced high decided to make us all dinner. There was so much food, she practically cooked a 5 course meal. The best part? It was delicious, I've never tasted such good food. Even Aizen liked it to the point that Karite is now our cook, much to her dismay.

After dinner I headed back to my room to watch my video, letting all of the day's stress just flow from my body. It also seems as of late that I have been mellowing down, which is just not me. I think it's the video, I just don't have the rage I used to. So I'll be glad when this painting project is over with, then I will be able to go back to my normal self.

So to bed I'm going, glad that tomorrow we will finally be done!

**Day ninety eight  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today sucked! All that work, all those days of painting, all that complaining I suffered from Szayel! What do I get for all that trouble!? I was suppose to get a free week, but do you know what Aizen said that free week is going to be? Camping! Us Espada's, and some of the fraccion are all going camping tomorrow!

Evidently humans actually camp for fun, can you believe it? And Aizen, as the most horrible evil overlord ever decided that we should experience this relaxing experience for ourselves. So we're going camping for an entire week, a full seven days! Starting tomorrow until next Saturday, just us and the woods somewhere in the human world.

We did get done with Las Noches today, and leading up to the learning of our 'prize' was actually okay. I woke up, fed Jow and headed down to breakfast like usual. Karite who had had a crash from all that energy yesterday was slumped at the table, she looked as though she had the life sucked out of her. She couldn't even lift her head off the table.

So we all headed to paint after breakfast, leaving Karite to rest. She painted more then all of us after all, she deserved a day off. We managed to finish the entire building of Las Noches, it now had a fresh coat of pure white paint. As I stared at it today I was reminded that we went through all of that work just because our leader didn't think our home was completely white.

After we were finished at noon we were ordered to the meeting room, where we had learned about our so amazing prize. (And incase you didn't know I was being sarcastic). Where our leader, the one who didn't think Las Noches was white enough, decided that we should go camping for our week off. Even worse? We had to use our gigais again!

So we had to prepare for a week of roughing it in the woods, with a bunch of people I don't like. No kitchen, no bathroom, no showers... not so bad, having to hunt and forge for food. I am so not looking forward to this, even worse? Were only allowed to take us some cloths and a few things like our toothbrushes and such.

Strangely however Ulquiorra seemed to be looking forward to our trip, though it's hard to tell. Some of the other Espada such as Starrk and Lilynette are actually looking forward to this trip as well, they are practically cowboy and cowgirl though so that's not surprising. Though it is shocking that Zammari is excited too, he says that nature can be very relaxing and wants to try meditating in a forest.

After packing for our trip I went down for dinner, looking about as excited as the rest of the Espada. Many of us weren't looking forward to this little field trip, only four of us even want to go to the human world for camping. My fraccion looked as though she didn't care, she was still practically unconscious from her coffee crash. I asked her who is the best Espada and she mumbled back Jow, yeah she really needs a little more rest.

So I'm heading to bed now, really hoping I suffocate in my sleep. At least then I won't have to go on this stupid trip.

End

* * *

**Chapter Challenge Winner!** Last week we had a challenge and we have a winner! The question 'Why was Ulquiorra gone before Grimmjow woke up on Tuesday and Wednesday?' was actually pretty straight forward. Ulquiorra just wanted to do things to Grimmy in his sleep, but some of the answers I got were quite entertaining. Almost all of them were conspiracy theories, about Ulquiorra setting up his free day. Though that was a good idea and I wish I thought of it. The winner of this chapter is: **cloudchenchan**!

**cloudchenchan:** haha Karite headlocked Szayel and blackmailed most of the guys into carrying her bags? XD well you said 'tricked into' but I'm pretty sure you meant to say 'blackmail' cause, frankly, she kinda knows everything right? that's at least what Grimmy's ceiling says everyday^^and about the challenge... he did some things to Grimmjow while he was sleeping or he at least dreamt about it and couldn't face him afterwards! after all Grimmjow IS a heavy sleeper *cough*karite*cough

My other winner was **Blader123**, it wasn't accurate but it was close! So congrats on winning 2nd!

Now time for the **LMAO** answer of the week! The answer that had me laughing so hard I nearly busted a gut.

**Mistress -Freak**

HE PANNED IT, I TELL YOU!! A PLAN!!.Ulqui's a sneaky li'l devil and needed to plant all the secret items for his special day with Grimm. Really, though, the spoon and pink freak just HAPPENED to get drunk? Karite just HAPPENED to get sick?(Tesla was unharmed because he knew Tesla would try to stay with Karite)Your Honor, if I may, I would like to accuse the defendant for the manipulated plot of poison and having people love him. A bit too much.

**Chapter Challenge:** Who gave Karite coffee? Here's a hint, they really wanted Las Noches' paintjob done by Saturday! Good luck!


	15. Week Fifteen

**Authors note:** Here is chapter 15! And whoo have I came a long way! I got almost 20 reviews alone for the last chapter! I would like to thank all of you! And those who read and don't review, though I would love a review, I still thank you for reading! Now go and enjoy this long camping chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach, nor do I own any of the Espada's. If only I did, then this would've happened in the show!

* * *

**Day ninety nine  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

We started our camping trip today, and it was horrible! It first started out with my fraccion running through the halls at high speeds while shouting at the top of her lungs, someone fucking gave her coffee again. Upon waking up and beating her up she explained that after drinking her coffee from last week she had liked it, so she kept drinking it. Just what I need for the beginning of the day from Hell, Karite acting like she's on drugs.

After getting up and realizing that in the human time it was only three am I was pissed. After a quick shower I fed Jow, I then put him in his carry along bag again. We were going to be using our gigai's for this trip after all, so he couldn't camp out in my Hollow's hole. I then headed down for breakfast to meet with the other still tired Espada's.

It turned out that only mine, Ulquiorra's, Nnoitra's, and one of Barragan's were actually going with us, evidently all the others refused to accompany us. I don't know much about Ggio other then the fact that he looks like a saber toothed cat, so why was he coming? I had no clue, but evidently he chose too. I wouldn't, not even if you paid me. Unfortunately I had no choice.

So we headed back down to Karakura Town, evidently he wanted this trip as human like as the other. He rented a large bus, and decided to drive us three hours to the campsite. They don't have cars in Soul Society or Hueco Mundo and now I know why, Aizen is the worst driver in the whole world. He nearly killed us eight times, got pulled over twelve times and we broke down twice. Nice start to a week of relaxation, I can already tell how this week is going to go.

So after three hours and a few near death experiences we finally arrived at our campsite, which is the most isolated one I ever saw. Aizen just replied that he wanted this as authentic as possible, meaning we had to rough it like the humans did. Fucking unbelievable. No powers, no flying, no gargantuan, only camping like weak pussies. Shit.

So after setting up our campsite Aizen ordered us all jobs, in which we needed to complete. Mine was fishing for food, fucking hilarious. Aizen probably thinks he's so cleaver, send the cat to fish, it's the perfect fucking plan. So I went fishing, and brought back a lot just to prove that I could. So take that asshole.

My fraccion, Telsa, Ggio and Kurosu was in charge of cooking and clean up, Starrk and Lilynette are in charge of gathering food, Harribel had to get fresh water for us to drink, Yammy and Zammari are in charge of fire wood, Aaroneiro was in charge of setting up the tents, Nnoitra and Szayel were in charge of making fire and the other such things, Ulquiorra was in charge of hunting game, and I got the job of fishing.

Barragan, Gin, Tousen, and Aizen spent all day doing nothing. Just discussing things around the camp fire, thanks a lot assholes! It was Aizen's idea to come here and does he help? No! We don't get to relax but him and his lackeys do?! Lets not forget about the old man! He sat around all day acting haughty, like he shouldn't have to do anything either.

Though it was kind of nice to find out that I would be sharing a tent with Ulquiorra, at least I didn't have to be bunking with anyone I hate. And lets face it, who wouldn't want to bunk with Ulquiorra? Well before I learned my feelings I wouldn't have, but that's irrelevant now. Also Jow had adapted to my timetable now, meaning he stayed awake most of the evening through night time.

So I'm heading to bed now, with today the way it was I don't even want to imagine tomorrow.

**Day one hundred  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was just as bad as yesterday, if not more. Woke up to Ulquiorra sitting on me again, though that wasn't too bad. It was what happened later that sucked, Karite brought more coffee with her. So after getting up and feeding Jow I headed out to see what was for breakfast, how the four fraccion managed to cook a large breakfast in the woods was beyond me. But that was what was prepared for us.

After eating we got on with our daily duties, getting them finished quickly. After catching the fish and putting them in the cooler (Yes Aizen actually bought one.) we went about fun camp activities today. Which consisted of climbing a mountain, swimming in the lake, and guess what? Yes more fishing! I swear I'm going to kill Aizen,

First we hiked up a damn mountain, almost two miles worth of trekking upwards and then back down. It would've been faster if the trail went straight to the top but no, it had to run around it in circles while going up. It took forever, though it was slightly awarding. The view from the top was awesome, the trees were even cleared out so you could see everything. It was good, until we had to walk back down.

After that we went swimming at the lake, and I'm glad that the fish in the human world wants to eat us. All those Hollow animals in the lakes in Hueco Mundo just want to eat anything that fall in the water, we didn't have to worry about that here. So we went swimming for a few hours and I learned the glory of sun block. Only me, Ulquiorra, Aizen, Gin and Tousen avoided blistering sunburns.

How Aizen and Gin accomplished this I don't know, Tousen's dark skin protected him and me and Ulquiorra just used sunblock. I had some enjoyment out of laughing at the other Arrancars, especially the ones who didn't experience this phenomenon while on vacation. They were freaking and everything, my fraccion just put some cool green stuff on her skin and she seemed fine. Though she only shared it with the other fraccion, she said the underdogs deserve something every now and then.

After that we headed out fishing, where we used these things called fishing poles to catch them. Why not just wait patiently at the shore until one swam by like I did? I caught a lot of fish like that, though I was at the river when I did this. We started fishing at the lake, where that technique didn't work so well. So after I mastered the art of fishing with a pole and string it was actually pretty relaxing, though it took forever to catch a fish. My way is still faster.

So after that we headed back to camp to relax for the rest of the day, though I still had to scale and gut the fish I caught this morning. Nasty job that is, I'd rather just eat them whole cooked over the fire. So after that we sat down and waited for dinner and just talked, though it didn't last long. Towards the end of the night we got swarmed by bugs, a lot of them. They ate us up! All of us, even Aizen and his two lackeys.

So we ended up eating in our tents which thankfully had nets, meaning they couldn't get in. Jow was in heaven, he might be a fruit bat but he still ate insects. He ate any that got into our tent, and I even let a little in for him. I also learned that Jow hunts by hearing rather then sight, which I'm impressed. Hunting with very bad eyesight is hard, it's easier to see your prey. But he can't so he uses something called sonar, which Ulquiorra explained to me. Really cool.

After it got dark and the bugs calmed down we headed out of our tents, gathering around the campfire. The fraccion all roasted marshmallows, something Karite learned in the real world. Though it didn't help when she went to blow the fire out on hers that the molten marshmallow his me square in the face. It burned, and I chased her around the campfire. Though she outran me, she was still on her coffee high after all.

So to bed I go today, a slight burn on my face snuggled beside Ulquiorra.

**Day one hundred and one  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Do you know that saying 'Having your bones jumped'? I had heard it a couple of times when I went to the human world but I never understood what it meant. How could you jump someone's bones? They are inside you, protected by muscle, fat, and skin. It just didn't make any sense, though not much in the human world did.

But I learned what it really meant today, it was actually an expression used in certain situations. The way I learned was that it happened to me today, I literally got my bones jumped today as I was fishing. I guess I'll explain my day before I continue, just to show how it lead up to this.

I woke up snuggled beside Ulquiorra again this morning, though sharing a tent that wasn't surprising. I knew he was a snuggler from back when we had to share a bed while handcuffed together. After getting up and feeding Jow I headed to get breakfast, to get a large meal for the day ahead.

So after that I went fishing, and as I waited at the bank of the river a loud explosion made me jump straight into the water. I didn't know that early in the morning the water would be that cold, it was icy. After I dragged myself out of the water I had to take my clothing off, they were completely soaked. While I waited by the bank of the river for them to dry though I got jumped.

It turned out that Ulquiorra was hunting nearby, that and he couldn't resist my hot body. He literally jumped me from the shadows, and started to kiss me. I knew I was irresistable but I didn't think I'd have this kind of effect on the normally emotionless Espada. So we ended up making out for a good ten minutes, at least until he regained his composure and took off to go hunting again.

After regretting dressed I wandered back to camp kind of dazed with my catch and learned that the explosion I heard earlier came from the cook and clean up team. Which contained Karite, Kurosu, Ggio, and Telsa, evidently someone thought to cook food in a aluminum bag without ventilating it. There went lunch, we had to make sandwiches instead.

Towards dinnertime, which I was still slightly in a daze, we learned from Aizen that today we had to tell campfire stories. The scariest wins, and they won't have to do their job tomorrow if they won. Believe it or not Ulquiorra won, his story completely terrified everyone including me. It was about some humans that encounter a unknown entity in the forest and a bunch of other shit I don't want to think about.

What made it worse however was the fact that he smiled evilly at the ending, that is number one on my list of top ten frightening things. Even Aizen looked slightly scared, and he's suppose to be all powerful. Gin was creeped out and refused to go near him for the rest of the night, and Tousen wet his pants. How Tousen could see it even though he was blind was a mystery, but he was freaked out as well.

So everyone went to bed creeped out, Karite refused to let go of her sister, Szayel kept hiding behind Nnoitra and Gin refused to walk within ten feet of Ulquiorra. I went to bed closer to Ulquiorra then usual, but wouldn't you if you just heard the most scariest story in existence? Though sleeping next the one who told it might not have been such a good idea.

So I'm going to bed hoping I don't wake with nightmares, trust me his story was able to terrify anyone.

**Day one hundred and two  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Woke up this morning clutching onto Ulquiorra, due to waking from a nightmare. I swear he told such a creepy story on purpose, he had a smirk in his eyes. I just growled at him slightly before getting up, after he smirked at me some more he told me that he was going to use his free day to follow me around.

So he watched as I fed Jow, and as I ate breakfast, and as I headed out to go fishing. So as I sat at the bank watching the fish swim by Ulquiorra was watching me, does he know how hard it is to fish when you're being watched? I only got a small fraction of what I usually caught, though we still had plenty from yesterday.

After that he followed me when I went wandering into the forest, something I did to escape my comrades and their annoyances. Neither of us talked, just walked through the trees quietly. Now normally me being quiet would be weird, but I didn't feel like taking today.

After returning to camp in which everyone glared at Ulquiorra, guess they were still angry at him for his story, we discovered something odd. Both Nnoitra and Szayel got bitten last night, they both had bite marks on their necks. Like fangs or something, which slightly coencided with Ulquiorra's story yesterday. They were freaked, to the point that they wouldn't leave their tent.

The best part? The bite marks were small, only about half an inch from each other. Yet they were terrified as if they got bitten by a demon or something. So I'm guessing they got bitten by a snake, thankfully earth snakes didn't eat you like they do in Hueco Mundo. Back where we live they are usually bigger then us and like to eat things our size, tangled with a few in my day.

Why two of our Espada are terrified of a small bite? I don't know, we're suppose to be the badasses of Hueco Mundo, and yet they cower in fear of a small reptile. Pathetic really, though it probably didn't help that Ulquiorra's completely terrifying story from last night had a deadly blood sucking demon in it.

After their melodrama we all got ready for what Aizen calls 'Group bonding', where all of us are forced to talk to each other like civilized beings. Where's the fun in that? Civilized is boring, I prefer reeking mayhem and completely terrifying my fellow companions. You don't know how much of a rush it is to put a cockroach in Szayel's bed until you hear him scream like a little girl and fry a hole through his sleeping bag with a cero.

So we acted all civilized, and talked to each other. Though I'd prefer we didn't, I don't like knowing things about my associates, it's not what I call fun in the least. I don't care that Harribel doesn't enjoy when people stare at her breasts, I don't care that Starrk doesn't like being woke up, and I sure as Hell don't care that Tousen is terrified of the feeling of something slimy on his skin... Wait that one might come in handy for future references.

So after bonding was over we ate dinner, which was fish and some type of potatoes that my fraccion and her brigade cooked. Though it was delicious, and Aizen congratulated himself on choosing such a good team for cooking. Of course he had to congratulate himself, his ego was that big.

So I'm off to bed, wondering briefly what bit pink freak and the spoon.

**Day one hundred and three  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Woke up this morning to a scream, followed by another scream followed by a loud oomph. Now who would cause such a ruckus so early in such a way? The culprut was Karite, yes my fraccion screamed at a decible not thought possible. Which caused her sister to wake up and scream, who then fell onto their other tentmate Harribel. Thus the oomph we heard.

Upon getting up and investigating the matter it turned out that Not only my fraccion but Kurosu and Harribel had all got biten last night, with the same type of bite mark that pink freak and the spoon got yesterday. So after their hysteria and other such nonesence I went back to bed. Though not for long, I woke to something odd.

Ulquiorra was humming, yes you heard right, humming. So I just laid there and listened, and ended up drifting back off to sleep. Who knew that Ulquiorra had such a sweet voice? Or that he even hummed for that matter, I always figured he'd think it was too 'emotional' to do.

After that I got up and went about today, Ulquiorra who had to go back to his errand today didn't get to follow me. I went fishing like normal at the river, took a walk into the woods for a bit, and then came back and listened to my comrads prattle on today. Karite and her sister had calmed down from this morning, while Harribel still didn't seem particularly bothered.

I fed Jow and noticed something weird, it looked like his cage had been opened last night. Though that didn't seem possible, I slept right beside his cage after all. Not only would someone have to walk overtop me but also Ulquiorra to get to him, and Ulquiorra knows when people walk overtop him in his sleep. So I guess it's nothing, though by saying that I feel like something bad's going to happen.

After eating dinner like usual Aizen called another group bonding session, this one though much more worse. We had to separate into pairs and then do 'Things' to help strengthen the bond. Though it seemed more like chores, cleaning the tents, washing clothing, cleaning up the campground. And I had to fucking do it with Yammy, who complained the entire time that he was hungry!

You have no clue how many times I almost cero'd his ass today! 'I'm hungry when do we get to eat.' Or 'I'm hungry lets take a break'. Or the worst of them all, the one I heard more then anything today. 'Do you have anything to eat on you?' I almost killed him! Does it look like I carry food around with me?! No I fucking don't so just stop asking me!

After that mental torture I was then forced to sit back into the group and discuss with everyone what I learned about the giant lard ass known as Yammy. All I learned is that he eats fucking a lot, and he doesn't remember things too well. Look at how many times he asked me if I had food in the seemingly forever short time we had to work together.

Finally after that annoying torture was over we got ready for bed, and I have to say I was ready for it. The only thing that didn't completely annoy me was hearing Ulquiorra humming, so today wasn't what I call a victory.

So I'm off to bed, not wanting another wake up call like I had this morning.

**Day one hundred and four  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

The worst thing happened today! Jow's missing! I woke up and he wasn't in his cage, nor in the tent. I don't know where he's gone to but I can't find him anywhere! I spent all morning searching for him, even in everyone else's tents.

Aizen told me that I didn't have to fish today, he told me to spend my time looking for my wayward friend. I don't know where this flash of sympathy came from, nor do I care. I just took the opportunity to look for him, I wasn't about to let a chance like this go by.

So I looked as much as I could, even going as far as I could. Searching dark caves, the tops of trees, everywhere Jow would be able to go. And I'm not the only one who's worried about him either, Ulquiorra helped look for him today as well. Though Ulquiorra was the one who originally took care of him so that's not surprising, Jow just seemed to adopt me after that.

Karite, who had made herself the official leader of the 'Jow search party' had rallied everyone to help look for him. I didn't care though, I was too busy searching. Though I was glad that more people were looking, the more people that were searching the greater the chances of someone finding him.

But I couldn't figure out why he'd leave me, did I do something to make him mad or something? I take utmost care of him, I feed him and do everything I can to make him feel like I love him. He's my little buddy, and I always thought that he too thought I was his buddy as well.

After searching for hours on end I collapsed from exhaustion, I was running all over the forest and everything for hours so I was down for the count. The others who had taken to pace themselves in their search still looked, though not as much vigor as me. They had started to like the little bat, so they had put in some effort to look for him.

After I rested and ate some food I went searching again, this time much more vigorously. I was told by Aizen during my rest that we were leaving tomorrow, meaning if I didn't find him I'd have to leave him here. That made my searching much more intent, I had to find him. He was the only friend I had other then Ulquiorra, and I hate to admit it but also my fraccion, I didn't want to lose Jow.

I had to stop for a bit to eat again, needed to keep up the energy, before continuing. Aaroneiro found a bunch of vampire bats, but Jow was a fruit bat so he was different. He was black, while all of those were brown. Though it was slightly entertaining to see him get attacked by said vampire bats because he encroached on their territory.

I had to eventually give up the search, unfortunately it got too dark so see. So I sat moping around hoping for Jow to come back, though it didn't seem likely. We'll be leaving tomorrow, so not only will I have to leave him behind but he won't have any readily food sources available. It seems that it was a season called summer on earth, which means that many of the fruit bearing trees had already bore fruit and were done till next year.

Yes Jow can eat insects but fruit was the main portion of his diet, he probably wouldn't survive winter here. If I don't find him by tomorrow he might die, and just the thought of that makes me extremely sad. I can't let that happen, though I fear I have no choice.

So I'm going to bed depressed, hoping against all hope that he returns.

**Day one hundred and five  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Jow came back! I woke up this morning and he was hanging upside down in our tent, but what was surprising was a brown bat hanging beside him. Jow had a girlfriend now, and she's a vampire bat. It turned out that she was the one feeding from the others, Ulquiorra translated for me. How he could talk bat talk is beyond me, but he's able to.

I named her Orra, and I'm going to keep her. Jow seems to really like her, and she really like him back. I didn't want to separate them, so I won't. Orra's coming back to Las Noches with us, and Aizen even agreed on it. Said something about everyone needing a companion, I didn't really care I just got to indulge Jow so I was happy.

Breakfast was made and we ate it up, Karite who had fallen absoulty in love with Orra spent most of the morning playing with her. She doted on her all day, even giving her Tousen to drink from. The justice freak completely and utterly freaked, going so far as to hide under Gin's sleeping bag. Pussy, he couldn't take a bite from a little vampire bat.

Szayel after learning the cause of his bite mark calmed down, he then remarked that he'd be able to make a nutrient drink similar to blood so I can take Orra back with us. Our blood as Hollow's would be bad for her, in gigai's we have human like blood. Meaning she can drink from us now, but not when we return. So the drink for her would be good, it means she'd be able to live with us happily.

So after this morning ended and it progressed into noon we all packed up and got ready to return home, which unfortunately meant that Aizen had to drive us back to Karakura town. In other words we had to travel in a death trap for three hours straight. If the first time he drived was horrible, Aizen only got worse with experience, not better.

We almost went into the lake, Aizen had put the bus in drive instead of reverse. So after that we finally got onto the road, only to almost run into a tree as soon as we got there. I had never prayed to live a day of my afterlife, I had never believed in a higher power. Today however I prayed to live, and after we almost hit our eighth car I knew that there wasn't one.

After arriving in Karakura town we had almost hit twelve trees, fourteen cars, eight pedestrians, we ran in the ditch nine times, almost fell into a pond and two rivers, our engine blew out once, got pulled over by nine cops, and almost died twelve times. I really don't like Aizen's driving, and I was never as glad as the time we got to return to Las Noches. Using a gargantuan was the best thing in the world, and I'm so happy that the whole ordeal was over.

After arriving back home I automatically set up Orra a place to live, making sure to add a small bowl in Jow's cage for her food. Jow seemed content with his new mate, and Orra seemed slightly happy as well. Both of them are now taking up residence in my Hollow's hole, side by side hanging upside down. Karite is always bugging me to play with her though, and I have to fight her off with my sword.

After today I was ready for bed, near death experiences takes a lot out of you. And I had plenty today, with Aizen driving I'm surpried I'm even still alive. When we landed in Karakura town my fraccion actually jumped out of the bus and kissed the ground, so it proved that I'm not the only one who is terrified of Aizen's driving.

So I'm off to bed with a new roomate, Orra slept happily next to Jow.

End

* * *

**Contest winners!!!**: Hello again and welcome to the winner page! Last week my question was 'Who gave Karite coffee?' It was Ulquiorra-kun of course! He wanted to spend a week with Grimmjow, and yes it was partially Ulquiorra's idea to go camping. There were so many winners and many of them were so accurate that I couldn't choose a winner... Sorry. The list of winners are:

Crunsnik02  
Cloudchenchan  
Tobiya  
Vannah'sDoppleganger  
Kenpachi Ikari  
Bella-chan-93  
Chasingyesterday  
Ravefirell  
Crazykk2  
YukiKitsune103

See what I mean? There were so many that got it right! I'll have to make them harder next time!

**LMAO** answer of the week! The one answer or in this case two reviews that made me laugh out loud. They are by: **Sudden Love** and the one who has their third review used in a row for the LMAO response! **Mistress -Freak**! They both made me laugh so hard that I couldn't choose one over the other, so here they are! Both winners!

**Mistress -Freak**

A chef!! It's the perfect plan, I say. All that hard work just to have some of the High Espadas give you threats about not working?! Karite's sanity was a fair price to pay, I'm afraid... Just LOOK at what see did! She FED!- WELL!It's sort of sad, too, in a way. In these troubling times, people need their jobs. Gotta brink home the bacon somehow, right?(*cough* steal from the employer *cough*)Now how will they feed their children!?!? T_TAw, well no one cares about the spoon's illegal love children, anyway.- You read that right. You couldn't NOT expect him to be a chef with being a freaking SPOON!! Whatever bad things happen, it's because he's going around drugging food. He gave Grimmy a break by drugging Karite but that doesn't mean he knew she wouldn't still bug him. (Evil genius, he is...^_^)

**Sudden Love**

Coffee? where do ya get coffee in los(t) nachos, eh, noches? That was f**king chocolate milk and crack...or weed. Idk which nnoitora sells. But anyway, did anyone think of a drug test? has anyone noticed that nnoitora's eye is all squinty? ITS THE DRUGS! He needed a day off, so he gave her chocolate milk and f**king drugs!...that or aizen had something up gins sleeve. Yes, it was gins drugs. aizen put them to good use XD X3

**Chapter Callenge:** Why did Aizen want them to go about their trip as humanly possible? Like no using powers and they had to take a bus, good luck!


	16. Week Sixteen

**Authors Note:** Here is another chapter of TLATOGJ! That's a long acronym, though it looks weird for one. I really enjoyed this chapter, it had seemed that lately this story had become more of a chore then an enjoyment. This story will have to end soon, unfortunately I don't know when I will end it. I would like to thank my reviewers for their reviews, though I would appreciate it if you send in ideas I could use I'm kind of drying up.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, but I do own a depressed Karite and a crazy Kurosu so I guess that'll have to do.

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**Day one hundred and six  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

After last week I was never happier when I woke up to a painting of Jow and Orra on my ceiling, you miss the simple things when they're gone. After waking up and feeding both Jow and Orra I headed out to get breakfast, while finding my fraccion and ordering her to repaint my room.

At breakfast something odd happened, Szayel looked nervous in a twitchy way. For some reason it made me feel nervous, when looked as though he done something wrong it usually meant misery for me. Remember the cat tail and ears? Yeah that's only one example on how he screwed with my life.

After eating breakfast I headed out to train, I hadn't been doing it too much lately so I decided to get back into the habit. I put Jow and Orra on a small branch so I wouldn't inadvertently hurt them and got started. I worked out for about three hours, which is actually small amount of time compared to what I used to do.

Ulquiorra had come to watch me for a bit halfway through my training, just standing beside the two bats on the side lines. After I had finished I headed over to see what he wanted, evidently he didn't have anything to do and decided to follow me around... again. I just shrugged, it didn't bother me.

On the way back from training however Gin, who hiding in the shadows, jumped out and startled me. He replied that Aizen had called a meeting and were ordering the Espada's attendance, we went along at least Aizen didn't blast his reiatsu through the fortress. I don't know how it would affect little Jow and Orra, and I don't want to find out.

During the meeting Aizen kept going on about something concerning the Shinigami, I just ignored most of it. I didn't like listening to him in the first place, so it wasn't too difficult to ignore him. That was until he said free week, then I perked right up. Aizen had then proceeded to explain that due to all the work and things we had to go through lately he decided to give us a free week, where we didn't have to do anything.

I almost cried, an entire week alone? No trips, no work, no annoying Aizen? It was glorious, and I couldn't bee happier. He promised not to bother us this week, Gin and Tousen weren't allowed either. When he was done with his speech I wasn't the only one to cheer, it looks like Starrk, Nnoitra, and Yammy were looking forward to this week as well.

The only one not to cheer however was Szayel, who looked even more nervous then before. I didn't get to comment however, Ulquiorra dragged me off somewhere. So I put pinky out of my head, I had Ulquiorra to think about after all. We ended up having dinner, and then talking about particularly nothing afterwards.

After that I headed off to bed, it was well past midnight at the time. I had to get energized for the rest of the week, so I can do anything I want during that period of time. I'm geared up to enjoy this week, and not even Aizen can bother me! I can't fucking wait!

So I'm off to bed waiting for the week to come.

**Day one hundred and seven  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was creepy as hell! That is all I can think to describe today!

I awoke to a very depressing picture on my ceiling, it was Karite committing suicide. I stared up at my ceiling in shock, I didn't know that my fraccion was that depressed... though I didn't find out why till later. Jow and Orra refused to come out of their cage, so I left them in. It was odd, Jow never refused to come out of his cage.

I headed down to breakfast, only to see the most disturbing thing in the world. Harribel was crying like a five year old, while Starrk was smiling evilly while pulling on her hair. My fraccion was over in a corner rocking back and forth, whispering dark words. Kurosu was beside her sister whispering to her fist, and then she'd move it as if it was answering. After that strange sight I left, there was only a certain amount of weirdness I can handle.

I headed back the way I came and ran into the spoon, who then proceeded to apologize profusely while brushing the dirt off my shirt. That scared me shitless, Nnoitra acting nice and polite? I took off running as fast as possible. I swear I thought it was a nightmare, that was until I ran into Yammy. Yammy was in the bathroom, puking into a toilet. He kept ranting that he was too fat, and that he would never be pretty.

I left only to run into Zammari who kept talking weirdly and cussing out anyone who came too close to him, after escaping him I ran into Barrigan who smiled happily at me and asked how my day was. I ran from him as well only to run into Szayel who was acting like a nervous school girl, especially when Nnoitra talked to him. So creepy!

And Aaroneiro talking to each other happily while calling each other 'brother'? Freaky beyond all reason. Lilynette was nice, acting like a young girl should. She even offered to help Harribel, which wouldn't normally happen. All the fraccion were acting weird as well, though I really don't want to explain them. The only transformation I liked was that Charlotte guy who wears black leather clothing, it wasn't what I wanted to see but it was better then his other outfit.

So everyone is acting strange and it seemed as if I was the only one not affected, even the Shinigami were screwed up. Aizen was acting like a hyper optimistic father who kept hugging everybody, Gin was angry and homicidal trying to kill anyone who crossed his path, while Tousen turned into a bad boy and played evil pranks on everybody. Nothing made sense anymore! It seems as if everyone in Las Noches turned crazy, except for me.

Wondering about Ulquiorra? Yeah he's a pervert now... I know that was my reaction. He kept attacking me today, and though normally it would be fine, today I was in now mood. I had to make dinner, keep my fraccion from killing herself, make Starrk leave Harribel alone and keep everyone from killing each other.

It was Hell today, and having Ulquiorra randomly grope me while trying to keep order? Not very easy. And you try fighting the fourth Espada off while he's trying to undress you, and being two ranks lower didn't help in the least. And when I did finally get him off me do you know what he does? He pouts! It's so damn cute that I almost gave in!

After I got everyone to bed I headed to bed myself, this is why I'm glad we can't have kids. Everyone in Las Noches was acting different, and now I know why Jow and Orra refused to leave their cage. If I had known what was happening I wouldn't have left my room either, because today was just not worth it.

So I'm off to bed, hoping that today was just a horrible dream.

**Day one hundred and eight  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Yesterday wasn't a dream, and unfortunately today was just as bad. I awoke to Ulquiorra straddling me, while he tried to take my jacket off. It wasn't what I needed to see today, that and Ulquiorra wasn't acting normal. So after pushing him off me and ignoring his pout I got ready for the day. The same depressing picture from yesterday was still on my ceiling, and I worried briefly that maybe she did commit suicide.

Jow and Orra still refused to come out so I fed them and left them in my room, I kind of wished that I could stay in my room with them. But as the only sane Arrancar/Shinigami left I had to at least do something about our current situation. This wasn't the way I imagined my week to go, it was suppose to go peacefully but no something crazy just had to interrupt and end that dream.

After separating Starrk and Harribel, he had proceeded to pull her hair and she had proceeded to cry, I made breakfast. Karite was still off in the corner muttering darkly, I gave her some food and ordered her to eat. She refused to and I had to threaten to take her 'depression' corner away so she shut up and ate. After feeding her and the rest of the Espada breakfast, while fighting off a horny Ulquiorra, I sat down to rest.

Szayel who had been trying to approach me but was too shy had managed to work up the courage to speak to me. Evidently what had everyone acting weird was some strange fumes wafting through Las Noches, though he couldn't figure out how I wasn't affected. I just shrugged, at least I stayed sane.

But I had to wonder why me? Why does all this crazy bullshit happen to me? Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep order with a bunch of crazy random Espada? Harribel had finally gotten fed up with Starrk and kneed him in the groin, which made the first Espada cry. They were acting like two kindergarteners, and they bickered all day.

Nnoitra kept acting nice and polite to Szayel who giggled most of the day, Zammari kept threatening to beat up Yammy who kept complaining that he was fat. Though he was I threatened to kill anyone who said so, I didn't need another crying Espada to deal with. Barragan kept happily replying that I was doing such a good job, and I had to stop myself from beating him to a bloody pulp.

Kurosu had painted faces on her fists, and she even named them. 'Lefty' and 'Righty' were her two new best friends, and she talked to them as if they were real. Aaroneiro kept talking happily to each other, saying what good brothers each other were. It made me want to gag, especially when Barragan started to talk to them happily as well.

Ulquiorra kept trying to get into my pants and I had to keep him out of them, I didn't want a drug induced Ulquiorra. I wanted him normally, so I'll just have to keep fighting him off for now. Though at least part of today was nice, I got Karite's camera thing and started to take pictures. That way I have some blackmail material, on everyone even Aizen. Who kept giving me a hug and saying that I was a good Grimmkitty.

I made dinner tonight as well, and got everyone to eat. Lilynette and Barragan offered to do dishes and I was thankful. It was hard to do dishes when Ulquiorra kept putting his hand down my pants, especially when I didn't want to take it back out. But I had to keep Ulquiorra from molesting me, he wasn't himself at the time. I have to keep reminding myself of that point.

So I'm off to bed, still wondering why I'm not in la la land like the rest of Las Noches.

**Day one hundred and nine  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

This morning was surprising, I awoke to Ulquiorra laying naked on my bed. He was watching me with a look that made my blood boil, though I resisted... just barely. After throwing his cloths at him I left, cheeks painted a deep red. I'm really at the end of my rope, if it keeps up like this I have no idea how I'm going to last the rest of this week.

You try denying Ulquiorra when he looks at you like he does me, I hope he goes back to normal soon. I don't think my heart can stand much more of this, it feels like it's going to pound right out of my chest. Though seeing Nnoitra smile at me like a good humanitarian while asking how my morning was did help get rid of my 'problem'.

After cooking breakfast again this morning, I didn't know I was such a good cook, I got everyone to eat. Threatening Karite again, getting Starrk to stop picking on Harribel, and Tousen cursing me out... just another weird morning. Though it didn't help when Gin decided to go around trying to kill everybody, I had to throw Aizen on him to stop his homicidal rampage.

Ulquiorra pouting all morning didn't help either, do you know how cute his puppy dog look is?! You don't want to know, it took all my willpower and some I didn't know I had to stop from jumping him. Though he looked like he was waiting for me to do that, and when I didn't he just went back to groping me.

After that I had to stop Karite from jumping off the top of Las Noches... again, she really needs some anti-depressants. Aizen needed to stop hugging me, it's annoying because Ulquiorra would glomp me right afterwards and glare at him jealously. Normally this would be a victory... but Ulquiorra would start to molest me afterwards.

Tousen had somehow gotten to the human world and purchased a motorcycle which he rode all around Las Noches, leaving tire tracks on the floor. And on some poor unsuspecting arrancars, though they were all lower level thankfully. Don't know what some of the Espada would do if they were ran over but I don't want to know.

Szayel approached me today and explained what he had learned about the mysterious fumes, evidently they warped the portion of your mind that makes up your personality. It makes you perceive the world in a different way, making your actions and thoughts different thus affecting your personality.

Just what I wanted to hear... not. I ordered him to try to find a way to fix it and he nodded shyly while hiding behind Nnoitra. I swear watching them two made me slightly nauseous, especially when the spoon asked me how my day went with a genuine smile. You have no idea how weird his smiles were, especially when they weren't a sneer or smirk.

After dinner I got all the Espada to their rooms, and thankfully no one was dead yet. Though Yammy looked as though he's lost about fifty pounds, he was around Zammari's size now. Which was frightening, especially when he talked like a prep while forcing himself to puke. Creepy right?

So after today I want to sleep, and hope that Ulquiorra wasn't horny anymore.

**Day one hundred and ten  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

No luck, Ulquiorra was just as horny as usual today if not more so this morning. I don't even want to think about what happened this morning, my face is still burning from the experience. My ceiling was still painted like it was on Monday and Orra and Jow still refused to leave their cage. Nothing new... well except for Ulquiorra and what he did this morning.

After getting up and running away from Ulquiorra I made breakfast, all the while ignoring Ulquiorra who kept pouting at me. It's still as hard as it was the first time, but I managed... barely. After getting everyone fed I got Barragan and Lilynette to clean up again, they happily complied.

With breakfast out of the way I sat down to rest, all the while taking pictures of things I found weird. I wanted them all to know what happened this week, and I'm going to be painfully reminding them of it for the next few weeks. Like Zammari insulting Yammy who just in response kneed the tall black man before going to the bathroom? Just to priceless to pass up.

Nnoitra was going around the building, helping as many people as he could. He helped Karite find a razor blade, which I took away immediately. He helped Kurosu repaint 'Righty's' face back on, and patted Gin on the back when he started to twitch uncontrollably from lack of killing.

Tousen was still running over random Arrancars (How he drove his motorcycle with no eyesight was beyond me), wearing leather jackets and cussing out anyone who crossed his path. Aizen just happily talked about how his children were doing so well and would hug anyone who came into range, I made sure to stay out of his range. I didn't need Ulquiorra glomping me out of jealousy, I was just barely keeping my urges in check.

So dinner time rolled around and it seems that Starrk had stopped picking on Harribel, though they still acted like they were five. Starrk just happily talked about bugs and cartoons while Harribel watched and listened with rapt attention. Though you could tell she didn't care about what he was talking about, she just liked to listen to him.

Barragan was nicely going around, making sure everyone was happy and comfortable. He even got a pillow for Karite to sit on when she stayed in her 'depression' corner. My fraccion didn't look too grateful but at least she stopped muttering darkly about freeing herself from this cruel world. Though Kurosu and her two 'friends' kept trying to cheer her sister up, though it didn't help any it was still slightly amusing.

Szayel was still trying to figure out a way to stop whatever happened to everybody, he's getting closer according to him. Though it was hard to tell, he just stayed hidden behind the couch while talking softly. He was timid and a scardy cat, he didn't even look me in the eye. Just staring at the ground while twisting his fingers together, I just told him to speed up his work and then dismissed him.

So after that I had to fight off a horny Ulquiorra who had found me, I had started to hide from him lately. He trapped me in a closet and tried to have his way with me, thankfully I was able to flashstep away before my control could snap. Though it didn't help when Nnoitra had happily told Ulquiorra where I ran off to. Curse that spoon and his sudden fumes induced need to help people!

So I'm off to bed, still slightly paranoid that Ulquiorra would jump me from the shadows.

**Day one hundred and eleven  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

After waking up with Ulquiorra straddling me this morning I had a feeling that today would not go well, especially when I found out that all my cloths were gone. After getting dressed and telling Ulquoirra to leave I had to ignore his pout while feeding Jow and Orra. At this rate I was going to jump him soon, I really hope Szayel finds a cure soon.

Breakfast was hectic this morning, Gin decided that killing everyone would be a good way to start the day and proceeded to kill Aizen. Aizen was upset by said attempt to kill him and decided to try to calm him down, by singing. Which in retrospect only made it worst, though Gin stopped trying to kill him at least. He only dragged Aizen back to their rooms, I don't even want to think about what happened after that.

Tousen knocked his plate over and said a few choice words, before stalking off. He looked more like a rebellious teenager then an actual bad boy, though I didn't point that out. I didn't need him rebelling anymore then he already was, it was annoying as it as now. That and there weren't that many lower level arrancars left that didn't have tire marks bruised into their skin.

Ulquiorra kept trying to grope me under the table, and it took all my reflexes of a cat based arrancar to avoid his touches. Though he wasn't happy about it, I could tell by his slight pout like glare. Starrk in a moment of idiocy decided to throw his peas at Yammy who screeched at him before throwing his own plate full of untouched food at him. Starrk ducked however and the plate hit Karite who after getting the face full of food tried to jump out the window.

It took me and a very cold acting Tesla to pull her back in, Tesla had stayed hidden most the week. Probably thinking he was too cool to put up with anyone, he thankfully stayed beside my fraccion and kept her calm. Today was actually the first time I saw Tesla, and I was surprised to see him act like he was the only person in the world. He literally radiated loneliness and I sighed, it looked like he got whatever everyone else did.

The food fight stopped after my fraccion's attempt to go sky diving and everyone calmed back down, though it didn't seem like it. Harribel glared at Yammy for throwing his food at Starrk, Starrk just talked to Harribel. Yammy took off after Harribel's glare and went to the bathroom, probably to go puke again. Zammari just kept cursing out everyone within sight, though he left Karite alone thankfully. I didn't need her anymore suicidal then she already was, and Tesla didn't look as though he could take any crap either.

Szayel just kept talking to Nnoitra and giggled at everything he said, his face slightly blushed. Nnoitra happily told him of his day, and how helpful he's been for everybody. Aaroneiro just kept babbling to each other about how good of a brother the other was, while Barragan agreed to everything they said. Lilynette just happily talked to anyone who'd listen, which was almost always Kurosu and her two 'friends'.

By the time dinner rolled around I had hidden from the increasingly perverted Ulquiorra more then a dozen times, unfortunately he had Grimmjow senses or something. He found me every time I hid, thus making me run away to find another hiding place. Since when did that cat run away from the mouse? Or bat in this case.

Anyway after dinner was served and everyone ate I finally got a break, though it wasn't long it was good. I only got a break when I slept now, and that was annoying as all get out. I had to deal with a bunch of Espada and shinigami who act like children and as the only normal one I had to make sure they all didn't do anything stupid.

So I'm heading to bed, more tired then usual.

**Day one hundred and twelve  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Everything is finally back to fucking normal! No more crazy Espadas, no more stopping Gin from killing everyone, no more Ulquiorra trying to get into my pants! Just normal Espadas trying to kill each other on a daily basis, ah to have everything normal again! Though it wasn't until past noon that eveyone turned normal, so I still awoke to Ulquiorra biting and kissing my throat.

So after getting up and running away from the fourth I made breakfast and got everyone to eat. After breakfast Szayel cautiously approached me and told me that he made an antidote that would turn everyone back to normal, he then replied that he put it in the air conditioning to spread it all over Las Noches.

So they all turned to normal, at the most funniest of times. Aizen was in the middle of hugging Aaroneiro, which made him jump back as though he had been bit. Gin was about to kill Tousen, who in turn was trying to run the other over with his motorcycle. That one was entertaining and I got a picture of that one, especially when Tousen tried to figure out why he was wearing leather.

Starrk immediately fell asleep while talking to Harribel which made him land on top of her, she looked down to see Starrk's head resting in her bosom. She punched him though it wasn't his fault, he had just fallen asleep like that. Yammy had been in the middle of puking when he turned back to normal, before stating that he was starving and proceeded to eat the kitchen.

Zammari had been in the middle of punching one of Barragan's fraccion, he then immediately apologized multiple times. After that he went to meditate, claiming he had to get all of the negative emotion out of his body. Kurosu shook her head while trying to figure out why her hands were painted like people while Karite punched Tesla in the face for hugging her. Telsa himself wasn't too thrilled at the prospect, though he didn't retaliate.

Barragan had been discussing house cleaning tips with Lilynette when he went back to his grouchity old ways and called Lilynette an annoying brat. She then proceeded to cuss him out, saying he was a creepy old man that needed to be kicked out of Las Noches. Arraneiro went back to arguing with himself, even going so far as to bite each other when their fight got escalated.

Nnoitra was in the middle of helping Szayel button his shirt back on after he had gotten his first one soaked, upon looking at the still slightly wet Szayel he ripped the shirt off and ravished him right there on the living room floor. Szayel who also turned back to normal didn't object, but did managed to get Nnoitra to go to his room for their fun.

The funniest however was Ulquiorra, who had just jumped me and was pushing my shirt off. He wasn't wearing his jacket either, already having ditched it at attempt number eight at seducing me. He blinked down at me before blushing a dark red and scrambling off me. Especially because one of his hands had been resting on a very private part of my body, I just sighed as he got off me.

So everyone is normal again, this was not how I wanted my week to go. Why is it every time we get a free week something like this happens! I was looking forward to having a full week doing nothing but no I had to baby-sit a bunch of Espada who decided to go apeshit. I am so pissed right now, though having Ulquiorra bashfulness back was slightly good. Now I could ravish him, he wasn't influenced by whatever got them acting loopy to begin with.

So to bed I go, still slightly upset about my not so free week.

End

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**Contest winners!!!**: Last weeks' question was a little more difficult then the week before, and I only got three winners for this one. Though many of them were funny and extremely entertaining! The actual answer was he wanted to experience the human way of life, how simple it is. The winner with the most accurate answer was **Blader123**! It was the most accurate and still slightly humorous.

**Blader123**: Because Aizen is an idiot! I've had a lot trips with my parents in the car, but this has will never happen! It's not possible, it's not humanely possible! He just want's to kill them! And if not then annoying them, because that's the only thing he wants to do!(I think the real reason is that he wants to know how to live in the human world as a human being)

**LMAO** answer of the week: Is another tie! Between **Sudden Love** and **Mistress -Freak**! They are both so funny and I couldn't choose between them!

**Sudden Love:** Read. My. Lips.- Weed, nuff said. He wanted to drive because he KNEW Gin drugged his breakfast. He wanted to be a human because he KNEW he was dead. He wanted the GrimmUlqui-sex to hurt like a human guy sex would. Too bad they forgot the condoms(or however you spell it). He also KNEW that a bat would drink from their drugged blood. Drug count: 15. Ever go over this? You wont believe how many crack-tastic things you'll find because Nnoi-spoon had a little extra weed.

**Mistress -Freak:** When Aizen was a small boy growing up in burning tree, all he ever wished for was to drive a flying car. So basically he took all the Espada out with the bus to recreate the same experience because, with his kill-the-pedestrians driving it wa as close as flying as he could get. As for the part with no powers and such, he thought if he could live in a burning tree human he wanted to make everyone suffer even more so.

**Chapter Challenge:** The fumes affected all the Espada, though it didn't seem like it affected Grimmjow it did. How did it affect Grimmjow? Good Luck!


	17. Week Seventeen

**Authors note:** Sorry for the wait! I've been having problems lately so I haven't been able to update on time. I'm a day late... sniffle... I've been feeling bad all week, hurt myself more time then I care to count (I'm awfully accident prone), and it seems as if my inspiration is hitting a dry spell... oh well. Anyway I would like to thank my many reviewers for their words, they help encourage me to do better! Here is chapter 17! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, Fruity Pebbles, Zombieland, or any type of sake... I haven't tried drinking, nor do I want to. Though I do own Karite who does get drunk, and it's mildly entertaining.

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**Day one hundred and thirteen  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

After last week I was exhausted, taking care of all my comrades and keeping them from killing each other? Not really worth it in the long run. So when I was called by Aizen to report to the meeting room I did everything in my power to stay in bed... though in retrospect it wasn't that surprising that I found myself standing before Aizen's chair just five minutes later.

Gin that sneaky bastard, he is anything if not strong and cunning. The fox face tricked me, thus being the reason I was in the meeting room this morning at six o'clock listening to Aizen talk. Evidently due to my show of responsibility and level headedness last week Aizen decided that I deserved a break. Fucking finally! He told me that I can have a full day in the human world as a bonus.

You can't believe how glad I was to hear that, though I wasn't allow to fight anybody however. Ulquiorra would also be accompanying me to make sure I stay out of trouble... at least that was what Aizen said. He just knows I want to hang out with him all day with no disturbances. So after getting Ulquiorra we both headed out to the human world.

I couldn't take Jow or Orra though, so I left them with Karite who was forced to paint my ceiling again. I didn't even see it this morning so I don't even know what she painted on it. Anyway I got to chose where we went today, and something I had seen on one of my trips to the human world caught my interest.

It was something called a Movie Theater and it showed different types of movies on these large screens, and you could by snacks and such to eat while watching. I have discovered popcorn is absolute the coolest thing in the world, it's so good and buttery. I got extra butter which made it even more tastier, Ulquiorra refused to eat it. Said something about too much fat for him, oh well more for me.

The movie we watched was something called Zombieland, some kind of horror movie. It was awesome! Action, blood, killing people! It had everything... though the humans were zombies at the time. I didn't understand half of the references, all I know is watching someone have their brains blown out is awesome.

Ulquiorra however wasn't too bothered by the movie, though he hasn't looked me in the eye since last week. I think it's because of how he acted last week, though I'm not complaining. I'm surprised I didn't just jump him, hmm... it's odd now that I think about it. Oh well, I like him when he's calm and stuff anyway. If he's a pervert I can't make him blush, and do you know how fun it is to make Ulquiorra Sciffer the normally emotionless Espada blush?

So after the movie we ate at a restaurant, though he didn't talk much. I spent the entire time talking about Zombieland so there wasn't any awkward silences between us. I can tell Ulquiorra had became a little distant but I'm sure he'll be back to normal soon, I'm still having nightmares from last week myself.

After dinner we returned home, where I was greeted with Jow and Orra landing in my Hollow's hole. Karite who had been chasing them came to a stop before pouting, evidently they didn't want her to get them. She had a small little dress that look suspiciously Orra's size, so I'm not surprised Orra was fleeing from her.

Bidding Ulquiorra good night with a kiss I took Jow and Orra back to my room to keep them from my fraccion's clutches. Next time I think I'll leave them with someone more reliable... and sane. After setting them back in their cage I headed to bed, I was slightly tired so it wasn't too hard to go to bed early.

To bed I go, content on how my day went.

**Day one hundred and fourteen  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today just reminded me how horrible of a evil overlord Aizen really is, I had actually thought that he couldn't get much worse then he already was... He did, and I don't see how he managed it.

I awoke this morning to a painting of the soul society on my ceiling, how Karite knew what it looked like was beyond me. So after waking up and yelling at her to repaint my ceiling I fed Jow and his girlfriend. I'll have to make another stop by Szayel's lab soon, Orra's almost out of food, I'm really not looking forward to that visit. Any sane Arrancar dreads going to pinky's lab, even a few of the insane ones know better.

Heading down to breakfast I was interrupted by Nnoitra who punched me in the face, after hitting him back I demanded to know why he hit me. Evidently all that helpfulness from last week had made him mad, and to repay all those he helped he decided to go around beating up on them. Stupid spoon, I'd like to see him try to pay back Aizen. He needs to be brought down a few pegs.

After finally getting to the kitchen I made me a bowl of Fruity Pebbles... only to have Aizen call a meeting right before I can eat them. I was so pissed! I missed my breakfast because of Aizen, and the reason for the actual meeting made me even angrier for missing my breakfast for that.

Evidently in the Soul Society they were doing something that only happened once every decade, they were throwing a party for the entire Soul Society. Suppose to be the largest party in the entire universe, how does our so called evil overlord respond to such a motion?

He got pissed that they dared to throw a party larger then he could, thus making him bitter to the point that he decided to throw a party even bigger then the shinigami's party. Of course he did, stupid idiot. Letting himself get goaded by such a stupid thin, and now we the Espada have to put together a party larger then anything in the universe in a week. You heard me right, Aizen ordered us to get the party done by Friday.

How I hate our leader, because of him I had to go shopping in the human world for party stuff. How in the hell would I know what to get?! The only parties I've been in were when I was an Adjukas and we went around eating lower level Adjukas, we called it 'consume the weaklings'. Though in retrospect that wasn't much of a party, but hey it was fun.

What's worse about shopping in the human world for shit I don't know? I had Menoly and Loly with me, under orders from Aizen to help me. So not only did I have to listen to their annoying voices but I had carry all the bags that they bought, and I swear half the things they were buying weren't even for the party. Since when did we need pink purses for a party? Never, that's when!

After getting back to Las Noches I headed straight to bed, I hate going to the human world with anyone other then Ulquiorra. It was an annoyance to hear them complain and yell at how incompetent I was, they're going to think incompetent when I beat their faces in.

I'm so tired I'm just going to sleep.

**Day one hundred and fifteen  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

There is nothing more annoying then having to wake up at five in the morning just because a party is taking place in a few days, a party I didn't care to attend. Aizen however made sure to warn us that all of us were to be there, along with every other Arrancar that lives in this miserable place.

So I was woken up by Karite saying that I had a new job, one that I particularly didn't enjoy. Evidently I had to go back to the human world to purchase food, so when the day rolls around we'll have plenty of food to eat. So after getting up and feeding Jow and Orra I headed out to the human world yet again, three days in a row is enough to drive anyone insane.

Aaroneiro was the one who went with me today and I had to stop him from eating the store out. So we gathered all the food that we were ordered to, though I think we got more then we needed. Though Aaroneiro complaining that he can't eat any of it was starting to annoy me, how can he eat with that jar on his head anyway!

I'm seriously going to go insane, and I haven't even seen Ulquiorra for the last two days. Him, Harribel, and Szayel had been in meetings with Gin and Aizen about the party sense yesterday. So the lack of a certain green eyed Espada in my life was making me slightly grumpy, or how Starrk puts it 'Just down right ornery'.

It didn't help my mood either when as soon as I got to the base I was attacked by Karite with a tape measure, evidently she and her sister along with a few of the other fraccion were in charge of making us outfits for the party. Because of course we couldn't wear our normal suits, it was too unsophisticated for Aizen.

One thing I did discover today that I will never ever have my measurements taken again, that was the most scariest thing I've encountered for a while. Do you even know how scary Karite is when she's walking towards you with a tape measure while wearing a cruel smile, even worse was that she had orders form Aizen meaning I couldn't just cero her into next week.

After that embarrassing moment I had to go help Aaroneiro put the food up, which was a lot by the way. We had to make about three trips back to the store to get it all. We had five shopping carts full of food, we did have to feed quite a few people... yay us. All the other Espada were working on invitations (Why we need those is a mystery) and other such party favors.

After that I had to put up with that damn spoon, Yammy, and Zammari while helping them make invitations. How the hell would I know every bodies names!? I had to fold them because I couldn't feel them out, I have about twenty paper cuts and lost actually quite a bit of blood. I hate Aizen and his random ideas!

So after today I don't even want to imagine tomorrow.

**Day one hundred and sixteen  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Uggg! I swear Ulquiorra doesn't exist anymore! I've been trying all day to see him yet I can't, whenever I find his reiatsu and go towards it, it would disappear and reappear in another place. Aizen has me doing so much work that I can't keep chasing him around.

I woke up to see Gin standing beside my bed, like I need that creep to be staring at me in his sleep. After swatting at him which he dodged I got up to do whatever Aizen had thought of to torture me with today. Lo and behold I got to go to the human world to fetch sake and other such alcoholic drinks. A whole lot of alcoholic drinks, more then I could even imagine.

Evidently during their large parties in the Soul Society they party while getting piss poor drunk, and it's the only part of this party I fear I'm going to enjoy. There is no way I'm passing up alcohol and it's the only thing at the party that will probably be worth it.

So after going to the human world with Starrk who slept most of the time we got a bunch of alcohol. I think we surprised the liquor sellers that we bought so much, I just told him it was for a very large party. We did buy half the store after all, we had to have wagons to carry them all out. Though Starrk fell asleep on his wagon before I kicked him off and told him to move it, in which he did sleepily.

After getting back to Las Noches I was assigned invitation duty again, though I thought we got them all yesterday. Evidently Yammy accidentally burned them all when he was cooking... Yeah it doesn't make much sense to me either. So we had to redo them, all of them. My fingers look like they got shredded by a paper shredder, and they sting to high heaven.

It didn't help either that Ulquiorra wasn't around, he's the only one I can talk to and without him it made today boring. I think he's angry at me, but I can't figure out why. Did I do something to insult him or something? There's nothing I can think of doing wrong... though I wish I did so at least I'd understand why he's running from me.

After finishing our second set of invitations, in which I threatened to kill Yammy if he missed them up, I finally got a break. Though it didn't last long before Gin sought me out, claiming that Aizen ordered me and Zammari to start setting up on the party room. It was going to take place in a large empty chamber and I had to set up tables and chairs and other such annoying things.

After working for nearly four ours with Zammari we finally got the room set up, now all it needed was decorations in which I'm glad I'm not in charge of those. I have the artistic talent of a rock, and Aizen knows this so thank whoever is the highest being for that.

After that I headed back to my room, and dropped Orra and Jow back into their cage before feeding them again. That reminded me that I still have to stop at Szayel's lab for Orra's food, thankfully I can just buy Jow's at the store. Meaning it was easy to obtain his food, Ulquiorra was ignoring me so I couldn't go to him for it.

So I'm off to bed hoping I see him tomorrow.

**Day one hundred and seventeen  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Aizen is such an idiot, and I think I'm going through Ulquiorra withdraws.

I still didn't see Ulquiorra today, and since when did I need to see him so much? I think I've lost my mind, this has to be some type of dream. After getting up and feeding my little buddies, I went to see Szayel to pick up Orra's food and I remembered why I hate his lab.

Test tubes with things I don't even want to think what they are, his stupid fraccion which annoy the crap out of me, and the smells. I despise going in there, and every time I had to venture into there I want to gag at the things I see. So after grabbing Orra's food I made my way out as fast as possible, you really don't want to linger in pink freak's lab.

After that trip I went to see what Aizen wanted me to do today, might as well get it over with. Tomorrow is the party so we have to do everything to get it ready, Aizen decided that since I'm such a good cook I should prepare all the food with Aaroneiro. So I was stuck in a kitchen with that creep for seven hours cooking food when I hate cooking, I didn't even know I could cook so good anyway.

Karite and her sister decorated the entire room before passing out everyone's outfits that she and her sister along with all the other fraccion made. Mine is pretty cool though, it was a white suit with a blue undershirt and tie. Very classy, though I don't like wearing anything that covers my chest but oh well.

After cooking for forever, I wasn't in the mood to listen to Aizen talk about the party. I've already invested too much time into this party, but at least I got to see Ulquiorra. He had to come to the meeting, though he didn't look at me. He just focused on Aizen, and I felt slightly angry.

The party room looks pretty awesome though, and somehow Gin had managed to get something called a juke box that plays music. So everything was set up for tomorrow and I'm glad, though Aizen wasn't done with me yet. Yeah all those invitations we made? I had to pass them all out, along with Yammy and Zammari.

Running all over Las Noches while passing out party invitations to idiots I can kill by just looking at them was not fun, it was beneath me to have to do this kind of shit. I had a bunch of lower Arrancars laughing at me, that was until I beat them up and left them bleeding on the floor. They didn't find it so funny after that, though Gin told me to stop picking on them.

Also Ulquiorra not talking to me? Made my mood even worse, because cooking and passing out invitations pretty much killed my day. I even tried to get out of most of the work, and what happened? Aizen just smirks at me before releasing his reiatsu, then I go do what I'm suppose to do. This whole thing just encourages my 'Aizen is insane' theory.

And having to wake up at six in the morning to heat up the food, and get the rest of the day prepared tomorrow? Not going to be fun at all, though at least I'll have alcohol tomorrow. It's at least something to look forward to, if anything.

So I'm off to bed, whatever.

**Day one hundred and eighteen  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

The party was today and it was pretty cool... Well what I could remember was. Got up at six this morning, and fed Jow and Orra. After that I met Aaroneiro in the kitchen to help heat up the food and get it ready. Cook what we didn't and getting all the food prepared. The party was at noon, why so early no one knows. I gave up trying to understand Aizen's logic a long time ago.

After that took a shower and dressed up, the suit looked good but was slightly uncomfortable. Jow and Orra were placed on a small rack in the party room so they can be there, they both looked slightly anxious. When noon came around the party started and everyone got to eating.

There were so many people... er Arrancars! There were close to a hundred, I didn't even know there were that many. Most of them were weaker ones, the ones who cook and clean for us. Pretty much they wait hand and foot on us, though I really don't pay that much attention.

Well it was kind of fun and I got to eat a lot of my own food, though Ulquiorra still avoided me. After dinner it got to the drinking part of the party while the tables were moved so people could dance, though I didn't dance myself. Karite in her aqua dress had dragged Tesla onto the dance floor, he looked to be enjoying himself.

Ulquiorra mostly stayed in a corner, dressed in a white suit with a green tie and undershirt. He looked good, though he still refused to look at me. The only ones to talk to him were Aizen for a brief moment and Harribel, I didn't know what they were talking about but Ulquiorra looked anything if happy.

After about an hour of drinking I found and cornered Ulquiorra, he had already drunk quite a bit of alcohol and I was able to get some information out of him. Such as why he had been avoiding me for the past week, it turns out that my refusal last week to take advantage of him when he was a pervert made him think I didn't desire him.

The fool, I didn't take advantage of him because... wait why didn't I again? Something about he wasn't himself, okay maybe I had been affected by the fumes. After taking him into a corner and reassuring him for about half and hour we rejoined the party. There was a massive amount of alcohol after all and I was going to take full advantage. I even got Ulquiorra to drink a lot, though he couldn't stomach nearly as much as me.

Also Ulquiorra is a talkative drunk, I did not know that. He talked the entire time we sat together, about everything that came to mind. It was almost as if someone took the filter between his mind and brain and completely destroyed it. It was so funny! Especially when Ulquiorra in his drunken state had cursed Szayel out for bumping into him.

The party ended up going all the way into the night, it started to get hazy around eight o'clock though. Everyone was drinking as if there was no tomorrow, and I was with them. The alcohol I consumed seemed to have finally kicked in because the last thing I remember clearly was talking to Ulquiorra as we headed away from the party.

I'm curious to see how tomorrow turns out, though I'm not looking forward to waking up.

**Day one hundred and nineteen  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Woke this morning with a splitting headache and a naked Ulquiorra laying beside me, I'm still wondering if it was a good or bad wake up call. After heading to the bathroom to cool my head off I went back into the room to wake up Ulquiorra. I don't remember going to bed last night, so I don't know what happened between me and him.

Ulquiorra was in even more pain then me and remembered even less. I at least remember walking back towards my room, he forgot most of the night. After talking to him about last week and that I didn't avoid him because he was undesirable I got up to see how everyone was faring today.

Jow and Orra weren't in their cages, probably still in the party room so I took their food with us. As we reached the main room I was surprised by what I saw, almost every Arrancar and ex Shinigami were on the floor still either passed out or sleeping. Jow and Orra were on their little stand from yesterday so I just grabbed a cup and fed them real quick.

Aizen believe it or not was almost naked in a compromising position with Gin wrapped around his torso, while Tousen was sleeping on a table. Karite and Telsa were laying half naked in a corner, I can't wait to see her reaction when she wakes up. Kurosu was sitting against a wall beside Barragan's fraccion Ggio, they were both asleep with their heads resting against each others.

Nnoitra and Szayel were no where to be seen but I saw their cloths in a trail to the door, I didn't even think of investigating. Yammy was passed out in a bowl of mashed potatoes, while Zammari was in a meditation like sleep beside him. Barragan was gone as well as Aaroneiro, and yet again I didn't care. Starrk was asleep against Harribel's bosom and she was sleeping leaning against the wall.

After a few minutes of concealed laughter I got the most evilest idea, with a odd look from Ulquiorra I charged a cero. Lifting my hand I aimed it for the cord that held the chandelier on the ceiling, Aizen had brought it in solely for the party anyway so it had no actual function. My cero hit it's mark and the whole thing came crashing down, just as I did it I flash stepped away.

Ulquiorra followed and we heard a loud shouting and other such complaints in the room, many of them were groaning and screaming at each other to shut up. With a sadistic laugh I headed back to my room, kind of proud of my idea. Okay maybe knocking down the large crystal chandelier around a bunch of overhung Arrancars and ex Shinigami was kind of mean... but since when did I care?

Ulquiorra just rolled his eyes at me while following behind, I was intent on going back to bed because I too was still overhung. After a quick stop in the kitchen to grab breakfast me and Ulquiorra headed back to bed, with some ibuprofen in us. We had learned about this miracle drug from Aizen and I so love it, gets rid of headaches in a pinch.

We got back into bed and Ulquiorra snuggled up against my back, I didn't particularly care anyway. We slept until well past noon, I didn't even get back out of bed. I'm writing in my journal now which is about midnight, and Ulquiorra is still asleep beside me.

Guess it's time to join him again, it doesn't bother me to sleep in the same bed with Ulquiorra... I just wished he'd stop stealing my blanket.

End

* * *

**Contest winners!!!**: Remember when I said that I was going to do a harder question so there wouldn't be as many winners? Yeah that plan failed, almost everyone that submitted an answer won. You heard me, twenty eight people got the answer correct, twenty eight out of thirty two. And those that didn't get the answer weren't very far off. The answer was it made Grimmjow more responsible and thoughtful, he just didn't realize that it did it to him. I did have one winner that stuck in my head, and that was by **Sightlines**, I don't know why but their answer really caught my attention. It was:

**Sightlines:** How did the fumes affect Grimmjow? He became responsible and suddenly felt the need to keep order. Grimmjow is usually irresponsible and reckless. He decided to take charge and get everybody in order.

Other winners! This is going to be long:

xTexyArkx  
K.S.T.M  
DevampedShadow  
Kitana Matsuri  
Kenpachi Ikari  
Bladder123  
Comatose Overdose  
kriorokkz44827  
Strych9  
debbiejedigirl  
Tobiya  
michico1243  
Ashido Kano  
errihu  
Chasingyesterday  
123HappyFrog  
Sudden Love  
Dante123  
mindblock  
YukiKitsune103  
therealhinatachan  
hayato bomber  
Britt-Ulquiorra  
xXThe perfect soldierXx  
tsuchikin901  
Dior Crystal  
Ravefirell

See what I mean!? So many people got it right! Going to have to make it harder... though that last one was my attempt at just that. Doesn't look good for me does it?

**LMAO:** The winner or should I say winners for the LMAO of the week are... For the fourth time in a row... Mistress -Freak and for the first time Ashido Kano! Their answers were very funny and they top the charts today! Here are their answers!

**Mistress -Freak:** Grimmkitty became a LIAR!! NONE of those things really happened! Or some at least... He became an artsy-farsty mommy type, cooking and making sure a mass genecide of arrancars didn't occur...much. And ge LIED!! In his "fucking journal" he states he didn't take advantage of Ulquiorra, yes? WRONG!! Poor Ulqui was RAPED(ish) by him right in front of dear, sweet, innocent Jow and Orra.*sniffle* poor darlings were to tramatized to leave the cage for days... GRIMJOW BECAME A LIAR/MOMMY thingy who could cookish...!! T_T

**Ashido Kano:** Grimmjow became loving of his arrancar bretheren if fact he acted motherly. He was helping his arrancar children with learning to share, teaching them to be kind and fixing dinner for his little babies. Btw Aizen can sing ever heard him sing?Im mad that once again you did not cover Rudobon he was outside about to re-enact 300 both sides before being run over by a black man on a motorcycle wich propted him to become a republican and go after Obama. But now seeing how everything is back to normal he wont need those bat launchers, condoms, or giant lazer on a skull shaped island designed to turn the whole world into chicken nuggets anymore. I mean he had the ammo and everything! Fire in three two one! Stop running over my subordinates! Obama! *shakes fist angerly*

They were both so humorus!

**Chapter Challenge:** Now time for the Chapter Challenge! Why did Aizen make Grimmjow go with other Espadas to the human world to fetch stuff? Good luck!


	18. Week Eighteen

**Authors Note:** Here it is, the last installment to "The life and Times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez"... Yes you read that right, this is officially the end of the story. I had wanted to add a few more chapters but my inspiration and desire to write this story have dried up, so instead of continuing and completely butchering my own story I'm ending it. Beware that the last chapter is more serious then the formers, kind of like a prelude to the end of the show... which had almost every Espada dying. The ending is also slightly sad, so please don't hate me!

Sorry it took so long to update, first we lost our internet service which took forever to get back. Then the modem on our computer burnt out but the internet guys that came to our house said it was our hardrive so we had to get a new one and reboot it, unfortunately the disks we got to reboot our computer was corrupted so we had to reorder more. After that we lost everything on our computer, which included the first half of this chapter. Then after getting it fixed our computer still couldn't connect to the internet so then my mom just bought an external modem so we could connect, then after that I went on three vacations (Yes you read that right THREE) so I didn't have time to work on it. So sorry if this is very late in coming, I sincerely apologize.

And just for** Ashido Kano**, I added 100% more Rudobon. Not because I forgot about him and didn't know who you were talking about or anything... Heh heh... ... ... ...Szayel did it!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I do however own Jow, Orra, Kurosu, and Karite... And now Grimmjow's journal.

* * *

**Day one hundred and twenty  
****Sunday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Today was... interesting to say the least. It started with noticing no picture on my ceiling, and Karite was unconscious laying next to my bed surrounded in blood. Noticing that most of it was coming from her nose, and that Ulquiorra was still naked in my bed and only covered by a bed sheet I wasn't surprised. After getting up and feeding Jow and Orra me and Ulquiorra left.

I was surprised to see some creepy guy and a bunch of other creepy guys cleaning the party room, evidently he was a new arrancar the Aizen made. His name was Rudobon or something, not that I really cared. He was created just this morning by Aizen to clean up our mess, after that I'm not so sure what he would be used for.

Next Aizen called a meeting, and after listening to him for a few hours go on and on about nothing he finally did say something that caught my attention. Evidently our assault on the Shinigami is going to start next week, meaning we only had to write in our journals for one more week! I might miss it a little, but I'm just too excited about finally getting to fight.

Ulquiorra told me not to get too eager and go do something rash, I just told him I wasn't stupid. He stared at me for a few minutes before turning around without commenting. After yelling at him for a little bit (Even though it was playful), Aizen dismissed the meeting.

Karite, who finally recovered from this morning, was going around grinning all day. I just slapped her upside the head, telling her not to say anything. With a quick threat about telling everyone who I seen her snuggling with she shut up, though not before calling me evil.

Everyone seemed to be back to normal, the Espada were back to being jerks, the lower Arrancars were back to being annoying, and the ex-shinigami were back to being crazy assholes. Well all's well that ends well... I guess.

After training my fraccion some, she's getting better, I hung out with Ulquiorra most the day. The spoon commented that I'm getting soft and all that shit, but a quick punch to the head (Courtesy of me), and a quick kick to the neither regions (Courtesy of Ulquiorra), he shut up for the most part. He was groaning in pain and cursing the world but he wasn't talking to us at least.

After today I can't wait for my bed! Countdown to 'Finally get to kick some Shinigami ass'... Six days.

**Day one hundred and twenty one  
****Monday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Something happened today that made me want to cry... THEY returned. You know, the bunch of idiots that couldn't be able to screw in a light bulb? The bunch of idiots that think they are my fraccion? Yeah their back, curtsey of Aizen. He said that he'd need them in the attack on the soul society, frankly I just think he wants to annoy me.

After waking up to see a picture of them on my ceiling I knew they were back. Karite painted them wearing really form fitting colorful clothing, and they looked like some stupid superheroes. After an explanation from my fraccion, she just commented that they were suppose to be the power rangers. Just great.

Kicking her into repainting my room I fed Jow and Orra before letting them hang in my Hollow's hole. Heading out I ignored the bunch of idiots, not paying them any attention when they started their 'Grimmjow-sama' thing. Seriously? Fucking annoying.

I met up with Ulquiorra who was talking to his own fraccion, who just started to smile and nodded vacantly to what he said after she saw me. Sighing he dismissed her and came over to talk to me, even though he didn't say more then four words I got the point. He didn't like those idiots talking to me, whispering something about me being 'his'.

After laughing at Tousen, who got tripped by Gin I thought today might have gotten better. But unfortunately that is not how my luck goes, Aizen decided to call another meeting. Just great. Gawd decided that before the enemies came, which we didn't know if they would come or not, we had to set up traps... In the entire Las Noches building.

W...T...F, he couldn't be serious. Unfortunately however, he was. There's the crazy madman that is our leader, I thought he finally got his sanity back. But no, he didn't.

So we spent a lot of today setting up... quite frankly lame traps. There is no way anyone was going to fall for these, they'd have to be dumber then Yammy and the spoon combined. And I don't think that's even possible. Like the trap floor bit? No freaken way that's going to work.

Ulquiorra however got assigned on the other side of Las Noches, meaning I couldn't even talk to him while I was working. Do you have any idea how boring it is to set up a massive boulder to fall and roll down the hallway should someone happen to step on the wrong stone? Well it is, just take my word for it.

That new guy Aizen made yesterday, Rudobon I think, well he did come in handy after all. He was able to do a lot of the work so we didn't have to work so hard. Able to make clones of yourself comes in handy, especially when you needed to do a lot of manual labor.

Now in my room writing in my journal I'm glad I got done, it's almost bed time after all. Ulquiorra has found that my bed is more comfortable, so he's been sleeping in my room. I'm not really complaining, I just find it slightly odd... Okay not so. My bed is the softest bed in the world, take my word for it.

So I'm off to bed now... Countdown to 'Finally get to kick some Shinigami ass'... Five days.

**Day one hundred and twenty two  
****Tuesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Woke to the usual, picture of me and Ulquiorra snuggling on my ceiling, Ulquiorra himself was trying to figure out how she did it without waking him up. I just shrugged, I couldn't quite figure out how she managed to paint my entire room without me noticing it either.

After getting Jow and Orra like usual I let them wander the base today, I could tell they wanted to explore a little more. They flew around most of the day, randomly hanging upside down and startling unsuspecting lower Arrancars.

After repainting my room Karite spent most of the day talking to Tesla, who didn't seem to mind having her around. She talked so fast that I couldn't understand her, Tesla did though I'm not sure how. At the rate she was talking it sounded like she was an auctioneer, and was trying to sell the blond off to the highest bidder.

I spent most of the morning with Ulquiorra, talking, sparring, and making out. What? He's hot, I bet anyone would make out with him given the choice... Though if anyone even so much as tried I'd cero their face off, and then feed them to Yammy.

We also got a message from Gin today, from Aizen himself, said something about cleaning Las Noches. Yeah don't want our worst enemies seeing our lovely abode all dirty now do we? I swear Aizen will be the death of me, or at least my sanity.

So cleaning cut into my hanging out with Ulquiorra time, that itself put me back in a bad mood. Also having to clean the same room as Loli and Menoly really pissed me off, can you even imagine how annoying they are? They are like have two Szayels on an acid trip with high pitched voices who didn't like dirt, and who screamed when they got so much as a speck of dust on them. My eardrums can't take the pain, they just can't.

After we got done with cleaning a message from Aizen again saying we had a meeting reached us next, just as I was about to hang out with Ulquiorra. So going to this meeting rather pissed I only got angrier when we learned of what it was about.

That Rudobon guy now has an offical job now, evidently Aizen had to create one for him. Something like a police department, to keep the other Arrancars in line. Stupid if you ask me, and I'd kill him if he tried to stop me.

After today I'm ready for bed, because I get some alone time with Ulquiorra finally. Countdown to 'Finally get to kick some Shinigami ass'... Four days.

**Day one hundred and twenty three  
****Wednesday  
**Dear fucking journal,

When I awoke to no picture on my ceiling I automatically knew that something was wrong, even more when I found a note on my nightstand.

Evidently Aizen called mine and Ulquiorra's fraccion to a secret meeting last night, giving them a mission far away in the human world. She left me a note so that I would know what happened to her, and by the tone of the note I don't think I'll be seeing her again.

So he brought back my lame not-my-fraccion fraccion, and sent away the only decent one. I seriously can't tell what's going on in his head sometimes, I just can't. Sometimes I wonder if he's trying to sabotage our operation, it just seems that way these days.

Ulquiorra seemed a little saddened, though he didn't show it. Kurosu might not have been his favorite person, but she was still his fraccion. He's feeling just as forlorn as I am I guess, I know I'm going to miss that black haired tornado known as Karite. Even though I'm never going to admit it out loud.

I'm going to miss her, she was like a friend/pet. Tesla is taking it very hard, he's sulking around like he just lost a major part of his body. Aizen decided to give us a pep talk, something like counseling for the loss of our comrades. Stupid, I know. It's not like she's dead, just gone.

So after the 'talk' we resumed doing what we were before, nothing in particular. It was kind of a dark day, and because of so spoony and pinky just had to make it worst. Nnoitra just couldn't help rubbing it in my face, and Szayel wasn't helping with that smirk.

After a punch to the face for spoony from me, and Ulquiorra glaring pinky into a far corner of his own mind we left them to stew in their pain. Neither of us were in the mood for it today, it was like losing a younger sister. The kind you wanted to pick on all the time, but a sister none the less.

After that nothing much happened today so I'm off to bed, Ulquiorra cuddling more then usual. Countdown to 'Finally get to kick some Shinigami ass'... Three days. Though not so excited right now.

**Day one hundred and twenty four  
****Thursday  
**Dear fucking journal,

Life without Karite I've discovered is odd, quiet but odd. No random screams coming from unsuspecting Arrancars that Karite decides to scare, no chaos, no Jow or Orra running for their lives from a crazy girl with bat sized cloths. It was quiet.

Then after the loss of that annoyance Aizen supposedly didn't think it was enough, because you have no idea what he made me do next. Jow and Orra had to be returned to the human world, yeah so now I'm losing my pets right after my fraccion. Yeah I fucking hate Aizen right now.

So with a heavy heart me and Ulquiorra took them to the human world, finding sufficient owners for them. With threats of disembowelment should anything befall them we left them with a human, she seemed competent enough but I couldn't stress the point enough for my piece of mind.

Jow looked absolutely heartbroken, but I couldn't bring him back with me. Because of my part in the assault against the soul society there will be no one to take care of them. That and the clashing spiritual pressures could kill them, meaning I had to let them go. Ulquiorra comforted me as much as he could, but lets be frank he's not the best at it.

I know giving them up would be the most logical choice it still felt like I was loosing my children, that's what they felt like to me. And having them ripped away from me right after loosing my sister-pet thing? It was slightly depressing. I'm not known for my soft emotions but that didn't mean I didn't feel them, at least I still had Ulquiorra with me. I don't know how I'd handle having him gone as well.

After getting back to Las Noches everyone seemed to understand my need for space and left me alone, I guess I appreciate it... a little. I'm still bummed about the last few days to be too appreciative to anybody. Ulquiorra is really the only one who seemed to understand my need for silence, even though he's quieter then a ghost anyway.

So now I had a group of idiots following me around with whom I didn't feel like putting up with, and they still don't get that I didn't want to hear them. So after beating them up for a little bit they finally left me alone, dense to the power of dense.

After the day I've had I really want to be left alone, Ulquiorra being beside me though didn't bother me at all. Countdown to 'Finally get to kick some Shinigami ass'... two days. Though frankly I didn't care anymore.

**Day one hundred and twenty five  
****Friday  
**Dear fucking journal,

I'm back! And yes this is Grimmjow, I just got so tired of mopping that I decided not to dwell on it! So I'm back to my loud, brash, rude self!

After thinking on it last night I decided that dwelling on my feelings for them will not bring them back, so in rebellion of my feelings (Because I practically rebel everything) I'm back to my normal self... well almost. Yes I still miss them... (You didn't hear that) But I will not let that interfere with my life, I'm going to kick some shinigami ass in a few days anyway! So I can take all my anger, and frustration out on them.

Ulquiorra was a little confused at my current attitude but after staring at me for a few minutes he just nodded and accepted it. Not much can shock or amaze him, surely not me acting like I'm suppose to. The others however seem to be taking my change in attitude a little roughly, frankly they think I went crazy.

The damn spoon and pinky stared at me like I just killed someone bloodily in front of them before feasting on their entrails... I just laughed at them, which only freaked them out that much more. Harribel and Starrk looked at me for a few minutes before leaving, not even wanting to think what happened.

My group of idiots, now my fraccion as assigned by Aizen, decided that I jumped off the deep end and is currently drowning. I just looked at them like they were insignificant worms and they went back to normal, worshiping the ground I walk upon.

Yammy, Barringan, Aaroneiro, and Zommari didn't even talk to me, already figuring that I finally lost what last of my sanity I had. Well jokes on them, I'm perfectly sane... Well as sane as an Arrancar can be. The fraccion of the Espada just avoided me more then usual, not wanting to mess with me in this condition.

I think Gin's, Aizen's and Tousen's reactions however were by far the most rewarding, not many could say they threw off three of the strongest in Hueco Mundo. Gin stopped grinning, his eyes opening just a fraction to stare at me in shock. Tousen just blinked a few times before excusing himself, telling Aizen that he must have finally lost his sanity and wanted to go to bed.

Aizen just looked at me, in which I stared right back with a stubborn expressive smirk. He then shook his head as if getting into my mind wasn't worth the trouble, so he just dismissed me and rested his head in his hand. Gotta say, feels good to throw off the leader of our little operation.

So I'm off to bed, only missing them a little. Countdown to 'Finally get to kick some Shinigami ass'... one day. And I can't fucking wait!

**Day one hundred and twenty six  
****Saturday  
**Dear fucking journal for the last fucking time,

Well tomorrow it is, the day we begin on our dream to kill all those black wearing wussies. And today is the last time I get to write in this damn book, and I couldn't be happier! We're finally about to get some action, after waiting for so long we are finally going to kick some shinigami ass.

Others seem to be just as excited as me, I caught Nnoitra sharpening and polishing his sword. Szayel seem to be cooped up in his lab refining his experiments and making sure they all worked properly. Yammy seems to be eating more to store tons of spiritual pressure while Zommari has been in a permanent meditate pose since yesterday.

Harribel seemed to be giving her fraccion a pep talk while Starrk slept through Lilynette's riveting speech on how they were going to kick some major ass. Barringan didn't really do anything but his fraccion seemed to be pumped for the fight, many of them scrambling to get some last minute training. Aaroneiro just seemed to be the same as usual, fighting with each other... Though at least they were fighting over tactics, and how they were going to fight when the time came.

I myself just went around beating up anyone who would fight me, which wasn't many people... er Arrancars. I did get a decent work out from Rudobon though, making clones of himself is more useful then even I could've imagined. So after a good spar I went to see what Ulquiorra was doing.

He had been talking to Aizen about certain aspects of the upcoming war so he's been in constant meetings with our 'evil' overlord. Supposedly he's suppose to play a major part in the upcoming events, though I expected it. Aizen trusted him more then any other Espada after all, though I'm still a little miffed that he couldn't hang out with me much today.

During dinner, which Aizen managed to gather us all together for a meal, we had one last talk as comrades before the war started. I might hate a great number of these individuals but they seemed to have became a family. You didn't get to chose your family after all, and I know I sure as Hell wouldn't have chose many of them... And actually being in Hell only solidify my statement.

So after the dinner with my 'family' I hung out with Ulquiorra privately one last time, something tells me that after this war starts there won't be much together time afterwards. So we talked out on top of Las Noches, sitting on top of the pillars. Believe it or not I think I might just miss this, this peace outside in the night of Hueco Mundo with Ulquiorra.

Before I finish I just want to say that I hated this journal at first, I hated having to relay my feelings to an inanimate object. But after much consideration I have to say I'm going to miss writing in you, being able to share the most annoying and embarrassing things that ever happened to me. That's not even considering the craziness I went through with Ulquiorra, so I just want to say thanks for listening to me... Not like you had a choice in the matter anyway.

So I'm off to bed, writing it for the last time. Tomorrow is the day we start to kick some Shinigami ass, and if we win, I'll come back and write it all down. Good bye.

* * *

A figure stumbled through the rubble that was left of Las Noches, tears streaming down the figure's face. Short black hair adorned her head, her red eyes pained. As she came upon what looked like a room at one point she head for a corner of the rubble, digging until she found what she had been looking for. A small blue book with a black gothic six painted on the front. Staring at it a fresh wave of tears escaped her, pain at the loss of an important person to her.

As a sound reached her she looked up, another figure walked over to stand beside her. Short with emerald green hair and clouded lavender eyes. She held a small green book with a gothic four gripped tightly in her arms, her body fighting off the sobs that wanted to escape. Kurosu had always been one to hold in her pain, her eyes were misty but tears refused to fall.

Karite looked down at the small blue book, the only thing left of her master. She was only his fraccion for a short time, but he felt like an older brother that she never had. Hugging the book tightly to her chest she smiled sadly, glad that she had met him even if it was short.

She looked up to where she knew her master and Ulquiorra were at, knowing that even now they were together. Nothing short of God himself could tear them apart, even in death.

END

**Another Author's Note:** Wow angsty, didn't know I had it in me. So yeah, you pretty much guessed what happened after that. This is the end, and yes it was sad... but at least they are together. They have to be or for me the story wouldn't be enough.

**Contest Winners!:** So now onto the winners of my contest, which is the last one I might add. The question was... Why did Aizen make Grimmjow go with other Espadas to the human world to fetch stuff?

There were some winners, some LMAO material and for the first time a little of both! So here are the offical winner, **ElementistMagicAkua** for their answer was probably the most direct!

**ElementistMagicAkua:** Might there be an update? Pretty please with an Uke Ulqi on top?And Ulqi complained to 'daddy' that his kitty didn't like him as much and so 'Daddy' made it so the kitty couldn't be with his 'son' as often as kitty wanted.

Other winners include:

**ArlieseBirchwood  
****BloodyRoses  
****tricia b  
****Oni Hana  
****Chashingyesterday  
****hedgehog3000**

**LMAO:** The winner or winners of the LMAO award is **Miss Macabre Grey** and **Sudden Love**, because no matter what they write they still manage to make me laugh to the point of sufforcation.

**Miss Macabre Grey:** First, I can't BELIVE SuddenLove isn't here to say this but well.. what can I say? Melony and Loly got the friggin' HOOK-UP!Honestly, crack dealers dun fin' demselves, yo! Dem both bean crack whores makes Aizen want to utilize the drug and sneak it with the party supplies. Though it was a very hush-hush operation, Im'a smart enough to figure it out! ^_~SECOND! You JERK! T_T It's my FIFTH time in a row as LMAO winner and I've something like it in earlier chapters, too! Along with the fact my username is never correct, you must really not like me... T_T!I like getting LMAO awards, too because I feel like I've repayed you (a bit...) for all your AWESOME chapters and then I get to make YOU laugh!...but no... I've failed...I'm sorry...

_**(For you Miss Macabre Grey I'm sorry, I don't hate you or anything! It's the computers fault your name never comes out right! I swear! Everytime I type it in something messes it up! SO FORGIVE ME! I enjoy your LMAO answers, more then you can even imagine.)**_

**Sudden Love:** Because he didnt want Grimmy to see Ulqui because he got him pregnant(or how ever you spell it)! They FORGOT the condoms! :D ha, i wish i coulda been there! Oh Ulqui isa lier! Grimmy loved him so much and since he was a pervert last week,they just HAD to do it. And thats how Ulqui got prego. And then this week, when Ulqui found out what Grimmy did, he got some arrancar to give him an arrancar abotion(or however you spell it) And now Ulqui isnt prego(wait, since when was he a type of sauce? I think i was at that party ^..^)

**LMAO RIGHT ANSWER!** For the first time in my memory (Which might be fautly by the way, I'm not too good with remembering things) I got an answer that was worth the LMAO achievement and it was absoulty correct at the same time! So I give **HyoukyoNoSora** special congradulations on managing that!

**HyoukyoNoSora:** Lol.. your story has kept me from making lots of school work! XD Luckily tomorrow school is off so I can do it all... XDI actually almost had to restrain my self not to scream: "NU! ONO" when I noticed I just finished reading all the posted chapters... XDWell.. for the question... it's actually pretty simple. Aizen has been sniffing too much butt and we all know how sniffing butt is bad for your goodness.. now he finally became the evilest mastermind in the whole world and his arch enemy is non other than... Grimmjow Jeagerjaques... and why you may ask? It is more than simple... Grimmjow is too sexy for his shirt... too sexy for his shirt.. so sexy it hurts...Yeah.. sorry... all that sugar is getting to me.. º-º... poor Aizen.. of course he isn't jealous of Grimmjows smexiness... ... *whispers* Yes he is... but don't tell anyone or he will kick my ass... º-ºAnyway... the true answer *cough* answer Aizen allows *cough* I think is... because he knows Ulquiorra got hurt by that... and he got angry at Grimmjow for taht.. after all.. Ulqui-kun is his dear son and I know how dads can get pissed at her kids being hurt... my stepdad almost punched the face of a friend of mine in for making me cry a bit.. º-º.. yeah.. so.. he wants to make Grimm's life hell as revenge... happy with this answer.? ú.u ... *whisper* don't listen to this... he is sniffing butt I tell yah.! Sniffing butt.! º-º

_**Another**_**, Another Author's Note:** Thank you all for sticking to it for so long, I'm glad to have such good fans as you guys. Please leave a review (Because I'm greedy and like hearing from you guys), and tell me what you think! GOOD BYE my faithful readers, it felt good to give you all something to read and laugh at!


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